WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A SUCCESSFUL HUMAN BEING

When you read the papers, watch the news, you hear them word successful bandied about. In most cases, it is used to refer to a lawyer, a politician, a writer, a doctor, an engineer, a musician, a painter, an actor, etcetera etcetera. You hear people say successful mom or dad, a successful lover of books, successful traveller, a successful day dreamer. Success is often tied to setting goals and conquering those goals, to achievements in different fields of endeavours. What about as a human being? What defines a successful human being? What criteria do we use to say - so and so loved a successful life. He may not have done well at his job but as a human being, he was successful?

Some days ago, I read an article on Medium by a writer about her friend, a poet named Harry. According to her, Harry had loved poetry, had been an active member of the poetry community in his area. He had shared his passion for the craft and the art with people and he was known and respected by all who got acquainted to him. His personal life though was a mess. His wife had left him, he was in dire financial straits and he was always sick until he died of a heart attack. She wrote that he was one of the best poets she knew.

---

_{Unsplash: Austin Distel}

---

The writer claimed not to be close to the man but to have been known him and known of him. She wrote a piece filled with sadness at the loss of such a gem and also with a sense of hope that he left something behind. I have wondered often about death and what comes after. I don't mean like hell or heaven, judgement and all that. I mean what will be remembered as. Will people say I left a legacy or I was a failed writer? Will my name even be remembered or will I fade into the purple night, unremarked?

You see in this world, through the machinations of the entertainment industry, the advent of the television, the advent of social media superstars, we have come to see success as synonymous with wealth and fame. Therefore, anyone who has not made a fortune in whatever profession he or she chooses, anyone who is not famous for having done something supposedly extraordinary; written a bestseller, won an Oscar, hold a Guinness book of records title, made a fortune in stocks or crypto, or discovered the cure to cancer, is not seen as successful.

Harry was not a successful man in the eyes of society according to this writer of his story. In fact, in our current definition of success, this man whose life I know nothing about – was a failure. He had not made any money, he had failed in marriage, he had not even won a notable award in the field of literature to place him at least amongst the giants of the written word. If not for the writer’s attempt to understand something of this man, Harry’s life, his birth and death would have happened without a mention or a like.

Maybe I am the only one who has read that article hidden in the vastness of the internet – an article that a search engine captured because the writer had used an image from Pixabay and I seeking to use selfsame image had mistakenly clicked to search for the image on Google. The fact that I have shared this man’s passing means something doesn’t it? Yet, this is not the concern of the writer. She does not seek to keep his memory intact. She does not seek to share his virtue and the reasons why he was the best poet to ever live despite titling her article as such. At the end, she seeks to explain to herself and her audience that success is not as society makes it but as you make it. Success is personal, she may be saying. To know that this is her intent, you find that she does not recite any of his poems neither does she mention his full name. He is just Harry from start to finish. I read nothing about his wife or children beyond the fact that they left him. His legacy is opaque to me. Yet I have to accept that he was successful.

Harry lived for poetry. It was a passion that he pursued with all of his mind and time. As the narrator said in Mr. Church, a movie I find most compelling, ‘Henry Joseph Church could have been anything he wanted to be, he chose to cook’. My quote might be a little bit off but the point is, Mr. Church could play the piano and he played it excellently. He could have been a book critic, a literary aficionado, a jazz musician playing the best clubs in the south, a chef at the most expensive and exclusive restaurant in America. He could have been anything he wanted, he had the skill, the knowledge, the drive but he chose to cook. 'To cook' does not mean he is a cook. It means that out of the numerous opportunities he had within his grasp, he preferred cooking. Was he successful? He helped a woman die happy, he helped raise a little girl and taught her to love books and good food as well as play the piano - the things ladies learnt at finishing schools back in the day. He took care of a lost girl and her child until he too needed care. Is that it - success?

Is success something that can be calculated by societal standards? If my dream is to have a three bedroom flat, a car, enough money to take care of all my needs, would I be considered to have been a success based on today’s standards? Has a father who has trained all his children through school but does not have a car or money in the bank failed as a person? If I love to sing and I have been singing for years now, releasing albums even though none of them has ever topped the billboard charts or won a Grammy, have I failed as an artiste?

The article about Harry made me think about myself. I write poetry and some fiction and to my credit, several trustworthy and reliable persons have commended me for my writing skill. I have not published any of my works on traditional modes of expressions i.e. book form. I have not won any awards for my writing that is worth mentioning. I am virtually unknown outside this blockchain space. Am I a successful writer? Can I lay claim to success as a poet or as a wordsmith? Will my words be remembered when I am done? Will my name taste the tongue of future lovers of the written word? Will I fade into nothingness, my words hanging like rusty signs on old pathways choked with grass and dust? Am I a success as a human being?

Every writer seeks to leave something behind, I think. It is egotistical to think that but writers are not egotistical about their works. They think that someone needs to read what they have written because it has something to say. They push their words into your face, saying – read it, it will change how you view the world. It is therefore expected that their words will last after them and their names will last long after their words have become dust in the wind. To therefore be successful as a writer without the genuflection of the audience, the readers, is something no true writer seeks. The moment, a piece of writing is out of you and shared for the world to peruse, you are asking the world to listen to you? Why should they? Do you have something between those pages that they have never heard before? Harry had his audience. If he didn’t, the writer would not have written about him. Does that mean he was successful?

If a woman is a good wife and a caring mother who does no office work but stays at home to take care of the family and she does it well, will you consider her a success or will you say she wasted her life taking care of family when she should have been working as a partner in the biggest law firm in the city? Is success a social construct that cannot be personal? Can I not be proud of the fact that I have never cheated on my spouse? What do we truly aspire to - successful in business, in education, in skill or to be a success as a human being? What does it mean to be a successful human being?

These are some of the thoughts that crept through my cranium as I pondered on the life and times of Harry. I did not find answers to my questions, neither did I find arguments to support my arguments whether fallacious or not. I want to believe that success lies in being able to love life well, doing the things we love and sharing love with others I want to believe that wealth and fame does not equate to success but I need better words.

Harry wrote successfully and found a place in the world of literature, somewhere safe, a cocoon away from the travails of his life. He dug himself deep and turned away from the pain that real life may have turned into for him. As a writer, was he successful? As a human being was he successful? Can we define what it means to be successful with our own understanding and desires? When I started writing this piece, I thought I knew the answers. I thought I would end this piece with a resounding yes or no! but I have arrived at the end and now I question myself. Good morning.

---

©warpedpoetic, 2019