Real mum moments - The ones you don't tell other people about
I'm not talking about the real mum moments like nursing your screaming child for hours hoping they would just fall asleep. Nor am I discussing the moments like scrubbing your child's crib because they decided to play with their own poop before crying out in the morning. Today I break the mold of "perfect parenting" posts or " how to better parent" and shine some light on parenting fails....the real stuff you wouldn't tell your friends. The moments where you had lost your train of thought and utterly failed in the parenting department.
I had prided the way my husband and myself had chosen to discipline our children. Hands are only used for love and words are used to teach lessons and because of my husband and myself being consistent all 5 of our children no matter where we were if after receiving a warning for their behavior would be asked to "take time-out" and would where ever they were asked to, no questions asked. It didn't matter where we were, a hospital, shopping center or home. Let's just say they all had a lot of practice to get to where they are.
Exhibit 1- My daughter in the background in time out at the hospital visiting her premature baby sister.
We found the system worked well for all of us at times a little too well. I am not going to lie and there is nobody to blame but myself. There have been times I have forgotten I have even sent a child to time-out and left the poor child standing there reflecting on their decisions for longer than required on more than one occasion. My worse leaving my darling daughter in time-out for more than 20-30 minutes because I ended up getting wrapped up something else that had popped up.
The poor child most likely out of fear of having their time-out start all over again did not declare an injustice to them as I continued on with my things oblivious to the fact I was serving an injustice.
But my worst of all real mum moments was the time I had realized I had left my newborn baby at home....alone!
Yes, you read correctly. I left my fresh, new, 3 week-old baby home alone and now as I reflect on this epic failure I release it is closely tied in with another failure....the time I barefooted chased my children rolling down the street in my car. So here is my 2 in 1 whammy.
It was the normal flurry of morning madness in my home. My husband had already left for work and I was busily feeding, watering and tending to our 5 little ones and preparing for the morning school run. Feeding and changing our newborn baby, I placed him into his cot sound asleep so I could continue to prepare everyone for their day ahead.
We had just moved around 30 minutes away from my eldest children's school and decided not to move schools and just do the commute so it took a little extra preparation to make sure I could make the journey as seamless as possible.
Learning from my experience the week before of my son letting the handbrake off my car and popping it into neutral sending it launching off in reverse down the street ripping off my car door from the hinges with his 2 of his siblings in tow while I was inside collecting another child to buckle into the car I had decided to save my 3 week-old sons life from another dangerous and wild ride with his older brother and place him in the vehicle last instead of first as I had been.
I begin to go through the list of essentials we needed for this trip. Bags packed, pram put in the car, I broke up a squabble between the children already in the car, then double checked I locked the house and we were off.
I put on the radio and listened to the morning show radio announces and belted out my favorite hits when they came on. We hit the freeway and at last, the kids had calmed and all settled in for the ride. I sipped on my coffee and took a quick moment to peek in the review mirror at them all and admire all their beauty and silence for a moment. I scanned the kids and smiled to myself as I took another sip of my coffee and then it dawned on me...... The middle child seat was empty. I had forgotten to put my baby in the car.
Absolute panic and fear rushed through me and I quickly realized there was no turning back to go and get him anytime soon as the next exit off the freeway wasn't for a least the next 10 minutes.
I looked at all my options and knew my options where limited. I knew what I had to do....I had to call my mother-in-law. She lived in the duplex next door to us and would be able to get in and stay with the baby. But in doing that I was also pointing out in plain black and white for her that I had failed her little grandson.
Lucky for me my mother-in-law could not have been more understanding and even if she thought it didn't criticize me for my stupidity. She quickly tended to baby and although she couldn't actually get into the house she sat by his window listening for if he was to wake.
I thanked her once I had returned through puffy eyes and a snotty nose, She hugged me and said it's all ok and quickly changed the subject. I guess she could tell I was punishing myself enough. Unlike my husband who loved nothing more than making my fail the punchline of his jokes with everything with me.
So that's it.... 3 of the many parental fail crimes I have unintentionally committed in my striving to be the best mum I can be. Parenting doesn't come with a guidebook and as humans, we all will make mistakes. So join me by sharing your story and shine some light to help another parent feel comfort in knowing we all stuff it up sometimes too!
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Crazy mumma moments 😂
Oh my! I can't imagine how awful, scared you felt there and then. Hugs hugs hugs.
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something similar happened to me when I was a kid - we were on holiday and stopped at a gas station on the freeway - everyone went to the toilet and I was the last to go - then my parents took off not noticing I was not in the car - but they instantly took the next turn - they were in panic but seems I hardly had noticed them being gone - I was about 4 years old then :)
@seadbeady, A holiday they will never forget. I bet they still feel guilty about it today even though no doubt you can all giggle about it now. You didn't notice them gone lol, you were a little lady on a mission!