How To Open a Door?

(Edited)

How to get in or get out, depending on the door.

But first, a thank you. Well, few thank yous actually.

I'd like to thank my mom and dad for creating me hands and eyes so that it is easier for me to make art and write all about it here. I know there are people making art without hands too but I'm sure I wouldn't be like that, patient enough to learn how to do art without hands. Without my hands I couldn't open a door and occasionally get out the house, which sometimes terrifies me because I'd just like to be angry and alone in my cave and play with my cats and... oh! I wouldn't be able to do that either. Play with my cats if I didn't have hands! So thank you mom and dad.

I'd also like to thank my big sister that she, when I was a child, not in school yet, didn't hand me a huuuuuuge firecracker, not the tiniest one but not a big one to hold after she lit it and ran away with her friend and either of them never told me that I shouldn't hold on to it and when I did, as I usually do hold on to things if I've promised to hold on to them, I didn't loose any fingers, it just hurt like he... considerably much. I have all my fingers and both hands. Thanks sis!

I would also like to thank everyone in Hive, especially those who have made all the things here which allow me to write the things I think and do and artify... make visible as art because without you all I would just be rolling on the floor on one side all day because I would feel unbalanced and would not know what to do with my head and my thoughts because there's no better place to stuff them than here. This is the best place with lots of doors yet to be opened and discovered. Like for instance couple of days ago I finally caved in and opened the door to Splinterlands and gosh I suck at it but that's okay, there are plenty of people who suck more than I do so that's always comforting to know. Anyway I do occasionally read some of my texts and comments that I've written and if I'm not baffled about the fact that I have no idea what I was trying to say, then I will be banging my forehead to the keyboard because I understand what I did say and it all makes me look like I live in the stone age surrounded by space age people, you there. But then some of you space age people write something funny and I'm here jumping up and down from joy and clapping my hands together and again I am so glad that I have hands. So thank you Hivers! Thank y'all!

I am super super grateful to all you who read my texts or at least have the ability to comment my posts so that I think you have read my posts and I especially want to thank all of you who laugh at my jokes because that really makes my day. I am not least bit obsessed about this, making people laugh but have you heard the joke about a...

Hmph. My son laughs at my jokes. I want to thank my son too. Mission accomplished.

And finally, I really, really, really, really want to thank all you super nice people who have somehow gotten their hands on my art that I made with my very own hands. I did promise to send something to couple of you who have actually been crazy enough to buy my art more than once and I ran out of my thank you art. So here goes. Thank you too.

Thank you all you precious people! I am happy!

I wrote this. With my fingers that are attached to my hands. My brain on the other hand (where?! where!?) had nothing to do with this.

goldsnowman_small.jpg
https://nftshowroom.com/insaneworks/art/insaneworks_thank-you_snowman-happy

And now, the thing you've all been waiting for, the chance to get out the door and not read my texts anymore. Here it is!

Turn on the subtitles if you don't understand Finnish!

How to open a door - Finnish instructional video from 1979



202
0
0.143 PAL

22 comments
(Edited)

I'm glad I opened this door even if it took me however long but I'm always last to find out.

1
0
0.005 PAL
(Edited)

Doors are better opened.
– Old cat proverb –

It's from the sacred book of the collection of cats: Thou shall never close a door.

My cats closed their eyes and turned their head away singing blaa blaa blaa in their head so loud that I could hear it at that point in the video when the dude closed the door after opening it because that's sacrilege but if a cat doesn't see it, it didn't happen and after a while the door shall be opened again and anything happened between closing the door and opening it is erased actually never even written there from the history books.

0
0
0.000 PAL
(Edited)

..if a cat doesn't see it, it didn't happen

I must be cat-like then cuz back in my drinking days if I didn't remember it, it didn't happen.

1
0
0.005 PAL
(Edited)

I've been opening doors wrong my whole life. Thanks for setting me straight.

!BEER

1
0
0.005 PAL
(Edited)

I know, it was a problem for me too. Fortunately I was also able to use this advise for doors opening the other direction and I'm simply a master now with the pivot turn.

0
0
0.000 PAL
(Edited)

I wonder if those guys made a similar video about how to open windows? I've probably been doing that wrong too.

1
0
0.005 PAL
(Edited)

That would be useful too and now I'm worried about bunch of other things that I too have been doing wrong my whole life. Like opening and closing drawers, how to use a knife and scissors, oh man, I can't even imagine how wrong I have been cutting stuff. This thing is going to give me nightmares.

0
0
0.000 PAL
(Edited)

You've probably been having nightmares wrong too.

1
0
0.005 PAL
(Edited)

Aaaaaaaand, I've probably also been watching how to videos wrong my whole life. I should end YouTube. There must be a switch off button somewhere... Now if I just could find a how to end the YouTube -video, and a video on how to search anything from anywhere and... OH NO!!! A video of how to breathe!

0
0
0.000 PAL
(Edited)

Everyone stop breathing till we figure out how to do it right!

1
0
0.005 PAL
(Edited)

Oh man you have no idea how much you've helped me out, I've been stuck in the bathroom for weeks, getting the wife to slide me pancakes under the door and drinking water from the toilet.

I finally managed to open the door just in time to celebrate Christmas with my son, all thanks to this handy informational video!

Can you post a follow-up on how to flush the toilet? I think it's probably over full...

1
0
0.005 PAL
(Edited)

Happy to help and thank goodness for pancakes!

P.S.
I'm thinking that you do not need a how to flush the toilet video since...

drinking water from the toilet.

I'm... I'm... this... the thought of this disturbs me.
untitled.gif

0
0
0.000 PAL
(Edited)

You're telling me if I flushed it I wouldn't have had to imagine it was a milkshake? I probably should have watched the toilet flushing video first...

1
0
0.004 PAL
(Edited)

The main thing now is that you got out in time. Everything else we can let our brain forget. Forever.

0
0
0.000 PAL
(Edited)

I am here just to leave a comment and pretend I read the post. I probably didn't. Again.

Oh... and now I know I open and close the door the wrong way.
I have been doing it the wrong way all my life! Ehh...

Happy Holidays! :)

1
0
0.005 PAL
(Edited)

I usually do not even remember what I wrote and to make things really confusing I probably remember writing something I thought about really hard but for some reason didn't, and now I don't even remember what I started to write about because my answer is so long so... yes.

Happy holidays to you too! :)

0
0
0.000 PAL
(Edited)

Congratulations @insaneworks! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):

You received more than 55000 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 60000 upvotes.

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:

Christmas Challenge - Offer a gift to to your friends
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
0
0
0.000 PAL
(Edited)

pixresteemer_incognito_angel_mini.png
Bang, I did it again... I just rehived your post!
Week 86 of my contest just started...you can now check the winners of the previous week!
!BEER
9

0
0
0.000 PAL