Sexist Me
As much as I rail against the sexist opinions and behaviors coming from the political right wing, and as much as I think they are wrong, I'd like to use this post to explain why I think they exhibit those opinions and behaviors from my personal perspective.
source: YouTube
I'm coming out as a sexist. I hate to have to admit it though. On the other hand I believe it allows me to understand some of the opinions, language and behaviors coming from the likes of Jordan Peterson, Steven Crowder, Ben Shapiro and other public figures on the political and ideological right-wing. I was born in the late 1960s and although my skin is "white," my family is black. Born in Suriname, a small country in Latin America, my parents brought me and my sister to The Netherlands when I was only 3 years old, so for all practical purposes, I'm a white Dutch man in his fifties. This gives me all the privileges, but also all the flaws that come with being part of that demographic.
Gender roles were pretty clear-cut in my parental household; mom was always at home and dad was always out to work during the day and often out with his friends at night. And I'm not going to lie and admit freely that growing up in what I later learned is "the nuclear family" gave me a pleasant, stable and happy childhood. I didn't mind that dad was almost never at home. On the contrary; my sister, my mother and I were happiest when he wasn't around. I've always had a love-hate relationship with my dad, something I suspect many men and women of my age will recognize. Only much later I learned that my father had the exact same love-hate relationship with his dad. Later in life I came to understand my father and where he came from much better and this understanding grew my respect and love for him; I now understand that, however unpleasant his personality and however authoritarian his behavior towards his wife and children, he always acted out of wanting the best for us. Well, his children at least...
When I was young, masculine men still smoked on TV and in movies and acted much like dad. Who doesn't remember the "Marlboro Man"? The image of men as rugged individuals, manhandling "their" women but always coming to their rescue as well, is something I grew up with, it was literally everywhere. Sure, there was "Charlie's Angels" and next to "The Six Million Dollar Man" we got "The Bionic Woman," but I watched those not because of some adherence to female empowerment, but mainly because I had a secret crush on Jaclyn Smith and Lindsay Wagner. Young me liked brunettes and blondes, not as persons but as objectified and sexualised women. And to top off my development regarding gender-roles, I grew up with "black" music; soul, reggae and rap do nothing to instill a sense of gender equality. Even the actresses and female singers mainly just affirmed the gender-roles I grew up with.
Only when I spread out my wings and started paying attention to "the ways of the world" I learned about how deeply certain roles and hierarchies are embedded in our societies. Now I understand that the music- television- and film-industries are money-making businesses owned predominantly by old men. Old white men like myself who make products tailored for me, and affirming my place in the social hierarchy. This gender-based hierarchy is not something new, it's not limited to modern history; in fact it's the oldest hierarchy of them all, predating even racial and economic hierarchies. Knowing this, it's not hard to imagine how women's liberation and the "coming out" of other gender-roles and sexual preferences is perceived as a threat to the white men who've for centuries enjoyed such a privileged position.
Charlie's Angels Season 1 Opening Credits
Now before you think I'm only going to make excuses for myself, let me share with you how, despite my understanding of the history of gender-roles, I'm still somewhat sexist and how I recognize my own sexism. For example, a couple of years ago I went out to buy a new television. When I was in the large electronics store I of course compared many televisions, their features, sizes, prizes, image resolutions, refresh-rates and so on. But there were so damn many to choose from... I just couldn't make a final choice, even though I reduced the candidates to a handful of models. So I went looking for someone in the store to help me make the final selection, someone with expertise. And although there were both men and women working in the TV department, I didn't even consider asking one of the women for help. In my mind "technical expertise" is immediately linked to "man." Eventually I was helped by one of the young women, mainly because all the men were already helping other customers and I didn't have all day. And I must admit that I was genuinely surprised by the amount of expertise and knowledge she had; I walked away a happy customer.
I also still can't get used to the sight of two men kissing intimately. I'm sorry, I just can't. I know it's hypocritical, especially knowing that I don't mind seeing two women kissing. Male sexual fantasies is another thing I grew up with... I'm lucky to have some very understanding gay friends to whom I can admit this without losing their friendship. But it's something I struggle with; it's weird, to say the least, to know there's nothing wrong with same-sex relationships rationally speaking, but still having that gut-reaction that says the opposite when it comes to male same-sex relationships.
I'm saying all this to make a point, and that is that it takes effort, conscious effort to overcome some of the deeply embedded behaviors we've learned from our parents and society as a whole. And my biggest criticism of the political right wing is that they refuse to make that effort. It's just lazy to hide behind years, even centuries of learned behaviors and pass them of as "natural." Where would we be, as a society, if we always caved for our natural tendencies and instincts? We wouldn't have a society. Living in a functional society is, has always been and will always stay one big compromise. And it's kind of immature, childish even, to yell "muh freedoms!" every time you're asked to compromise a little, give up a tiny bit of your copious freedoms for the benefit of the freedom of others...
Bionic Woman Intro
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You weren't wrong in your decision to look for a man in the store. Statistically, most men are interested in things, and women are interested in people. The problem was that your prejudgment didn't consider that women are trained to the same standard as their male counterparts. I now take the position that everyone is "ist." You are more trusting of people who are similar to you. The secret lies in how you differentiate between groups of people. I am more trusting of people from my hometown (rurban Canada - a small city in a rural area of Canada) no matter what their DNA, who they love, or what clothes they decide to wear compared to someone in a big city in the USA (as an example).
I used to cringe seeing boys and girls holding hands in high school. Was it because I was asexual (I'm not) and any display of public affection between two people (regardless of sex or gender) was offensive? No, it was novel, and I was reacting to the novelty. I never see two people kiss in public, or it is so rare I cannot recall seeing it. Seeing a man and a woman kiss is only slightly novel - I have done it myself. Seeing two women kissing would cause me to take notes to improve my technique. Even so, I have never seen overt displays of affection like that. Seeing two guys going at it is just too novel - I've never seen it happen in real life.
Hi there @dwarrilow2002, thanks for visiting! Statistically men are more this or that, and women are more that and this, that's true. And some of the differences can be explained biologically, some culturally and some through a combination. But you agree that knowing all that I still did make a prejudgment, one that was wrong. And I agree completely with your comments on "novelties"; change always disrupts and it takes time to get used to it :-)
Based on what, what do you base your stereotype on?
This post also explains why you confuse the noun 'life' in your pro abortion post, with the verb 'live', which gives you instantly away as clearly not a English speaker, and this is from someone who's second language is English, though I've been in America for almost 2/3 of my life and you couldn't detect an inkling of an accent and you'd think I have a perfect American accent from Ohio, which is THE state which has no regional accent, think every newscast.
Your serious racism against conservative, disregarding them as Racist, as Homophobic, and as Sexist, is only your prejudice, a prejudice no different from your "sexist" or better, the "progressive normal" you think is your cardinal north, but from where I'm standing, its nothing more than prejudice, unquestionable adherence and abhorrent lack of self reflection and complete inability to resolve critical contradictions in your ideology. You don't care for women, when woman is a costume any man can adorn. You don't care for the sanctity of life, if that life is at the mercy of a woman, that life is superseded by a persons whim. Your racist conservatives are demonstrably less racist than their counterparts who consistently disparage an entire group of people based on the color of their skin, and who cast any brown or black conservatives as self hating uncle Tom's. When BLM protests and numerous people are murdered in riots as antifa takes over entire city blocks, that's not Insurrection, yet when a mathematical fraud is clearly evident in the election count and people protest, not Riot, that's an insurrection, when the Thief In Office steals an election, as is documented in 2000 mules, that's not Insurrection. Similarly when Kyle Rittinghouse was getting clearly chased down and beaten, and defends himself, that's not self defense, he's a instigator who went there to murder black people, a racist murderer, and he got away with it which surely means a racist judge and racist jury and ultimately, a racist justice system, yet when blm rioters don't even get charged for violent crimes and assaults, and get away with looting, well that's reparation. So when your optics are completely messed up, useless, when you talk about Americans and you're not bothered to make all your judgments based on complete supposition and clear bunk prejudices and incredibly idiotic stereotypes, you've no room to cast any judgement, least claim you're at all any better than your idiotic suppositions, you're not Sexist, so stop the gaslighting, you're a racist, who despises, hates it seems, his opposition, yet who seemingly has no contact or actual knowledge of them.
You're not an American, you're not even aware of the crucial difference between a Noun, and a Verb, you're no more American than you're a woman.
If you follow his "posts" and recognize or realize how little he knows about the people he constantly ridicules as immoral, racist and stupid, it's hard to consider him as anything else than the caricature which he paints his "opponents" as. He's white, yet his parents are black. He's from a Dutch Colonial Country and he's Dutch yet writes almost exclusively about America, and hasn't made anything but passing remarks about the Netherlands, without which, much like his ethnicity, (barred his few instances of blundering English) you'd never know he's completely unqualified to make and pass judgement on Americans. He's not a gauge for anything in effect, he's a chameleon, and as he despises white, he readily identifies, so as he despises Americans, he also identifies as American. Over here, much like in my native Romania, and so too Canada, it would be an egregious thing to claim you're from the country, instead of from the city, especially when all you know about the country is from second and third party accounts, though you could fake it for a while especially when you're exploiting others prejudice for country folk, exactly what he's doing when he pretends that he has any understanding or knowledge of "Jordan Peterson, Steven Crowder, Ben Shapiro and other public figures on the political and ideological right-wing".
His biggest criticism is based on the prejudices of a Black, Identifies as White, Dutchman, much like a city folk, critical of country folk, considering them hillbillies and racist.