Wedding ceremonies: the need for equal treatment and inclusivity.

Being a Nigerian, weddings are usually a big occasion; there is hardly ever a small wedding due to the way we take celebrations seriously. In short, weddings are not just for the couples; the couples barely have a say when it comes to who to invite and what number of people should grace the occasion because both the bride and groom's parents practically hijack the guest list.

I've actually attended a few weddings where I do not know the couple, but a friend who knows them invited me. This is a normal practice here in Nigeria.

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As we all know, weddings are meant to be joyous occasions, celebrating love and unity between two individuals. However, in the mist of all the happy celebrations and likes, I have been able to observe certain practices in a few weddings I've attended that I honestly do not like: the planning, organisation, sharing of food and souvenirs, types of games played, and the church service.

Personally, I feel more people need to address the issue of unequal sharing of food and souvenirs during weddings. It is quite disheartening to watch individuals hoard food or certain guests give special treatment when it comes to serving food while others are left hungry and unattended to.

Souvenirs should also be shared with the guests, not just those who present gifts alone at the reception venue. Not everyone enjoys presenting their gifts at reception; some prefer to hand them to the couple prior to or after the wedding day. So why choose only those who presented gifts during the reception to give souvenirs or certain groups of people?

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I remember a wedding I attended in 2018 where I travelled from Jos to Zaria to be part of the bridal party. The lack of organisation and planning on the wedding day was very obvious. The bridal party and groomsmen were neglected; these are people who left the comfort of their homes and their work to grace your day. We were left without seating arrangements at the reception venue. It took the intervention of one of the groomsmen to arrange chairs and a table for us.

It did not end there; the groomsmen and bridal party were forgotten when refreshments were finally served until, towards the end of the event, a family member came to ask if we had been attended to and decided to get us food. The food she brought was not presentable; it looked like leftovers with tiny pieces of meat. Not a single souvenir got to us, despite seeing the variety of souvenirs that were being shared with people. We were seriously neglected.

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Another aspect of weddings that I find detestable is the unnecessary prolonging of church programmes, particularly lengthy sermons. Marriage counselling sessions are common practice in Nigeria for couples who intend on doing a church wedding (commonly known as a white wedding). So the lengthy sermons are quite unnecessary to me since they are more of a repetition of what has been taught during those sessions. I attended a wedding where the pastor's sermon was so lengthy that I found myself dozing off during the sermon.

Playing games during any event is usually fun and makes the whole event interesting and enjoyable, but I hate games that will cause embarrassment or discomfort to the participants or the audience. I feel most masters of ceremonies (MCs) need to ensure that game activities are enjoyable for all attendees.

Games that involve physical contact, such as removing wigs or headties, are inappropriate and can make some guests, like myself, feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. I do not appreciate it when random people touch my head, not to mention removing my wig or headtie in public, and I'm sure there are so many others like me.

Another activity I really detest and see as a form of extortion is when the groomsmen are forced—yes, forced—because they usually do not give them another option, which is paying to bail out the bridal party from standing. Your guests should not be pressured into giving money, even if you feel they are rich enough.

Weddings should be occasions of joy and celebration. Activities that will make your guests feel embarrassed, neglected, or uncomfortable should be avoided.
It is important to consider all your guests and treat them with fairness; this will not only make them feel appreciated but also allow them to enjoy the whole wedding experience, creating beautiful memories while doing so.

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