WHAT'S YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS? (CROSS CULTURE QUESTION #2)

I came across this post by @selfhelp4trolls with questions on relationships with parents and I thought to myself, "why not make an entry?" I have never written about my parents since all my years of writing and even though the questions asked may get me all emotional, I still think it's a good idea to write and see how exactly I feel about my relationship with my parents.

Here goes!

_{A picture of my family and I on 1st Jan.2022}

What role did your parents play in your life?

Like every responsible parent, my parents played the role of a caregiver. Growing up, my father wasn't around much but he made sure he provided everything I needed. He is very passionate about education even though he didn't get much education himself. He made sure I attended the best schools around and never placed any financial need above my education.

Whenever he was around, he would always sit and help me with my homework. For someone never went pass high school, he was quite intelligent and I believe I took my intelligence from him.

My mother was the disciplinarian. She would not spare the rod and spoil the child. Although, I feel like she stretched it a little too much. My mother would beat you up even in the streets. I remember her giving me a knock once in church for discussing while the sermon was ongoing.

Looking back, I'd say my father's love for education and my mother's strict rules for good moral behavior is what made me a woman of success and integrity.

Has your relationship with your parents changed over the years?

Yes, it has greatly improved over the years. As a child I hated my mother. She was always beating me for no fault of mine even when my siblings were the ones that offended. She never believed in me as a child and she said some really hurtful words to me. So many events happened during my adolescent and teenage years that she could have handled differently and these ended up damaging me and my relationship with her. Her lack of trust made me hide everything from her. I remember when I first saw my period, I couldn't even let her know because of the soured relationship we shared. I never knew what a good mother-daughter relationship was like.

However, as an adult, I came to the understanding that most of what she did was because she was naive. Married at 17 and having me at 20, she was pretty too young to understand what it takes to be a mother. I also believe that being from a polygamous home also played a role in the way she understood parenting. I had to make a conscious effort to help her be a better parent and today she is my best friend and I tell her everything.

As for my dad, he's always been my backbone. I have nothing but love for him and nothing has changed till date. He is just the perfect dad anyone would wish to have.

Is there anything you wish your parents would do (or would have done) differently.

If only wishes come true, I would turn back the hands of time and start my childhood all over again.

My parents never allowed me to make my choices as a child especially in education. They influenced everything and that wasn't too good. I loved writing as a child. I started writing at the age of 11. I also loved music, art and the limelight. I desired to be an actress, or a journalist or anything that would make me have an audience but my parents believed that I was too brilliant to go the art way and so I was pushed into science. As a graduate of biochemistry, I'm neither working with my certificate nor practicing.

Along the way, I still found my path to art. I went back to writing and even hosted several shows. Imagine if they had supported my dream but then, wishes aren't horses...

How are you similar to your parents?

_{A picture of my parents and I. No thanks to my sis @zonnia for her poor photography skills.}.

Hmmm! I had to take a moment to think this through.

Physically, I look like my mother. I am sometimes mistaken for her younger sister..lol. I also have her strong will. My mother is a strong willed woman and anything she desires, she pursues and obtains. I believe I took that from her.

On the other hand, it seems like I took the negative traits from my dad. My dad is a perfectionist and he worries too much when things don't turn out how he wants it to be. He also complains a lot when people aren't doing what he expects them to do so if I've ever nagged you for not delivering, go figure....lol.

Yes, my dad is also a strong believer in God. He places God above all and that I certainly took from him.

How are you different from your parents?
It breaks my heart each time I see them complain of how one uncle or an aunt could have helped or assisted financially. This has taught me to see life differently. My philosophy of life now is, "No one owes you anything. Stop feeling entitled!"

My parents are very accomodating. They can welcome every Tom, Dick and Harry into their home and make them feel relaxed but I am sorry I'm not that accommodating. I love my space. I love my quiet and I love my solitude.😜

***Do you prefer a more involved relationship with your parents or more distance?

---

Definitely a more involved relationship and that's why I had to make them live closer to me. Some months back, they were nine hours away from me by road. Now, they are just two hours away and I can visit anytime I desire.

If you'd like to let us into the world of your relationship with your parents, click here to make an entry. Don't forget to read the rules.

Pictures taken from my sister's gallery