I deserve it

Tomorrow is my natal day and I am planning on ditching my work.

I have been spending more time on my work than my family; at first, it was okay since all I wanted to do was to earn money for the family but as I got older and realized things in my life, I wanted to find time to spend with them.

All those years, I think I am employed in the company where I work for for about 6 years and I was thinking that I was living in vain.
I never get to spend a lot of time with my growing family. In fact, I wasn't there for my kid's firsts. I miss my second child saying mama for the first time and the first roll she did when she was still months old and the first walk that she had alone.

During my son's first year of life. I miss all the wonderful moments too. I spend most of the day at my workplace and I come home at night. I only had to spend a very few hours with my family because of course we still need to sleep to recharge for the next day's battle.

At first, I thought it was an escape from motherhood. We all know how babies and toddlers are hard to take care of, I was glad my husband was there to tend to them but I was terribly wrong.

Time flies so fast. Just this November 9th, we celebrated my son's 3rd birthday and I really can't believe that I had him for that long already and I thanked God that he was sustaining the family's needs through his blessings.

My birthday was tomorrow and I plan to go to the farm and be with my family and nature. It will be the best day if that would happen.
Over the past few years, I never like people around me and on Facebook to greet me on that day.
I always wished to celebrate it with serenity and pure joy.

I wanted to be on the farm because it is where I grew up and I had lots of wonderful memories ther with my late father. Also, there are almost no neighbors at all. The internet connection is low and no electricity too.

Aside from taking pictures, the phone was of less value and I love it that way because I can connect more with the family.

In the 29 years of my existence, I had a lot of experience I can say. I had a lot more failures than successes, I have killed and I have brought life, I brought people down but I tossed people too. I laughed and made people laugh, I made people cry but I also cried for them, and most of all I was down many times but I always get up and continue living.

I sure had made bad choices in my life; I may have times that I wished never happened but above all, I had no regrets about having my own family because now I am surrounded by the love that I had been looking for for a very long time.

Looking at the life that I have now, I may have lots of disappointments on not having the things that I wanted for but I realized that I am beyond blessed for having more than what I needed in my life. I may not be financially stable but priceless things surround me and I learned to treasure them the most.

I had been thinking that instead of celebrating the day that I was born, I will be celebrating the day that my mother gave birth to me. Does that even make a difference?

I wanted to thank my mother who had sacrificed a lot for me giving me her all. I gave her lots of disappointment for sure and I wanted to give back to her and honor her never-ending love for me and my family.