FAIRY TALES FROM AN UNHINGED MIND- Episode 1 (The Princess and the Frog)

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Good day children of literature and welcome to the first episode of "Fairy tales from an unhinged mind."

My name is Dr Richard Fabian Ace or Dr Dick. F. Ace for short and I'll be taking over for Maximus.

Today I'm going to tell you a story so get your popcorn and unhealthy drinks and let's get ready for today's fairytale.

Ahem.
The story begins...

Once upon a time, in a land far away, in the ancient days, back when there was no electricity, no smartphones or possibilities of a third world war,

There lived a girl, or at least she identified as a girl. Now this girl was all alone in a massive castle, with no one to speak to. (she's a princess in case y'all didn't figure it out)

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Now out princess was bored and possibly depressed.
She dreamt of a handsome prince that will one day come to take her away from this lonely castle. (yup, she was definitely depressed).

But after months and months of waiting and no prince had shown up yet, she decided she had enough,

If the prince didn't come to her, she would go to him. she was going to take matters into her own hand (Yay for feminism!)

So she ran outside into the deep and thick forest, which was a horrible idea. the forest was filled with dangerous creatures and possibly serial killers
and she didn't even have hand sanitizer!

Anyhoo, she kept moving and moving and moving until she realized... she was lost.
(that's why you should always carry a compass kids)

After a while our princess became tired, dehydrated and extra depressed.
she didn't know what to do so she sat down to take a breather
when suddenly, she spotted a frog.
it was staring at her and she stares back

"What an ugly frog." she said

"Hey, you're not exactly Zendaya yourself." the frog replied.

The princess screamed for a full 2 minutes before she calmed down

"You can talk!" she said to the frog bewildered

"A+ for observation." the frog replied snarkily

"But how?"

"I dunno, nature?"

The princess considered running away but then she remembered a story her mum told her about a princess and a frog, about how the princess kissed a talking frog and it turned to a handsome prince.

This frog also talks, maybe if she kissed it, it would also turn into a prince.

this was her chance, she would finally have her prince, and all she had to do was kiss a slimy creature.

So the princess picked up the frog and gave it a big kiss.

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There was awkward silence then suddenly...

The frog screamed "rape!"
Then the princess was arrested for sexual harassment and spent the rest of her days in jail.

The end.

Disclaimer: No frogs were harmed in the telling of this story.

Anyhoo,
Tune in next week for another riveting episode of "Fairy tales from an unhinged mind."

Thank you for reading.

Stay buzzing,

Maximus ✍🏾