Najgorszy tydzień w moim życiu ... Chyba przeszłam załamanie nerwowe czy nie wiem co .... Coś we mnie pękło .... Jak do tej pory się trzymałam , tak teraz po prostu pękłam .... Zaczęłam tak płakać ,że nikt nie potrafił mnie uspokoić , serce , to myślałam , że mi wyskoczy z piersi . Cały tydzień jak nie płakałam to rzucałam wszystkim z wściekłości ... Zaczęłam rozpaczać nad wszystkim ... Nad mamą... Nad tatą....zaczęłam myśleć , że rak mi wrócił i ,że mój koniec też jest już bliski .... Oczywiście przyszły do głowy standardowe pytania w takiej sytuacji ... Dlaczego ja ??? Dlaczego to moją rodzinę spotkało ??? Czy jestem aż tak złym człowiekiem ,że Bóg mnie pokarał ???
Zawsze uważałam ,że jestem silna i dam radę sobie ze wszystkim ... Czasem chyba jednak trzeba pozwolić sobie na słabość i pozwolić emocjom wyjść na zewnątrz ....
Teraz czuję się już dobrze , na tyle na ile mogę . Wróciły mi siły , żeby dalej walczyć o siebie ,o rodzinę , o mamę ....
The worst week of my life... I think I had a nervous breakdown or I don't know what.... Something inside me broke.... I had been holding on until now, but now I just broke.... I started crying so much that no one He couldn't calm me down, my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. For a whole week, if I wasn't crying, I was screaming at everyone out of rage... I started to despair over everything... About my mother... About my father... I started to think that my cancer had returned and that my end was also near... Of course, standard questions in such a situation came to mind... Why me??? Why did this happen to my family??? Am I such a bad person that God punished me???
I always thought that I was strong and could handle anything... But sometimes you have to allow yourself to be weak and let your emotions come out....
Now I feel as good as I can. I regained my strength to continue fighting for myself, for my family, for my mother...
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29/06/2024
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