WHAT DOES FORGIVENESS MEAN TO YOU?
Hello everyone and welcome to my blog at this hour. Forgiveness is learnt at the early stage of life when you were a child. As a child when you do something wrong, you're told to apologize to the person you wronged and afterwards you will be told that you have been forgiven, and that's all. But as you grow into adulthood it becomes more difficult to forgive people for wronging you. Well, sit back, relax and enjoy all that I have packaged for your reading pleasure.
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Forgiveness is often used in a religious parlance which makes defining it quite hard. Forgiveness is necessitated when the wrongdoer admits that he is wrong and takes full responsibility for his wrongdoing, and the person that is wronged also is willing to wholeheartedly accept to continue his relationship with the wrongdoer despite the pain he has caused. Your decision to forgive should not be hinged on whether or not the person will still wrong you in the future. It is not possible to control people's action but you can protect yourself from a similar behavior by setting boundaries.
The term forgiveness boils down to what you understand by it. It could mean that you let the person who have wronged you back into your life even when you are not convinced that they are going to change for better. It could also mean that you want to stop torturing yourself mentally by holding grudges against against the person who wronged you. The second meaning of forgiveness is preferable and healthy. Most times, we don't forgive the people who wronged us just because they deserve it but because it will be difficult to stay happy until you let go of the pain and forgive.
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It is rare to see people talk about not forgiving someone who wronged you but the preaching of forgiveness is always everywhere. However, it is vital to note that there are some people who it is not advisable to forgive and allow back into your life if they constantly show signs of abuse. You must think twice before forgiving someone if you are still feeling the adverse effects of all they have done in your life. For instance, if the person sexually abused you as a child and the trauma still affects you. Also, if you forgive someone that will mean that your loved ones will be a potential target of their wrongful acts, then it's better not to forgive at all and let them be at arms length. Some people are not respecters of boundaries. They make unnecessary effort to apologize to you all day and even at odd hours without respecting your boundaries and thinking of your general well-being.
It is important that you don't ever feel like you are under any form of pressure to do what you do not want to do. If forgiving someone is a ticket back into your life, you must consider the potential risks before making the decision.
All contents are originally written by me, @williams-owb
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Williams Oluseyi is a Linguist by discipline from one Africa's Most Prestigious Citadel of Learning, Obafemi Awolowo University. He developed interest for blogging at very early stage which motivated him to study English Language in College. He is a prolific writer, an inquisitive and judicious reader, to say the least. To get his daily bread, he is currently working in a Logistics company in Nigeria.
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