Where are you? I can't see you now.

I manage to catch a glimpse of a very bright beam of light in the darkness, only it is in the background, far away, untouchable, I can't reach it. I have to cross a long, strangely narrow corridor, full of unpredictable obstacles and I don't want to do it alone. I feel like a child again and anxiety reappears, wrapping me in a semi-transparent veil. How do I take it off?

In the middle of the silence I begin to hear traces of your voice talking to me. I calm down and my heartbeat recovers its normal rhythm; I still can't help but despair because I can't see you. Where do I find you? I hope it's a better place than this.

I walk with hesitant steps, I slip and I don't understand the reason. When I look down, the ground has turned to mud, blackness and dirt. I don't like it, I turn around, however, something stops me: I hear a familiar whisper and I put my hand on the wall looking for support, but it is gone, where before there was a wall there is nothing and I fall sideways...

Now I am held by a tree, the tree of my childhood. I hug it with emotion, I am home again! I can't believe it, happiness fills me with a warmth that comes from the soul outwards. You welcome me with a smile and beckon me to sit down. We are having lunch, you made guava juice, my favorite.

Suddenly, everything was painted in color, the anxiety did not exist in that space time, the fear, the worry, the rush... everything evaporated in conversations, hugs, jokes, anecdotes... we caught up as if the years had not passed, as if we had not gone anywhere.

Sometimes I tend to think we are just in a pause, even though I know we are not.

A movement indicated to me that you should leave, and we cleared the table in silence. With a wink you invited me to walk with you to the garden: I was greatly moved, it was identical... the flowers perfectly cared for, all green, color and shining sun illuminating every corner. Thank you, I said.

While you were watering the bushes I walked around barefoot as I did before, sat down and breathed the fresh air. Minutes passed, I closed my eyes and a smell of lavender came to me, a smell similar to yours.

I did not perceive you anymore, alarmed I opened my eyes wide and you were gone. I ran and looked for you, I caught you running away down a path I had not seen until then. You turned around and laughed at my worried face, I laughed too...

When I thought I had caught up with you, you slowly disappeared in front of me and in your place was a note with perfect, careful and delicate handwriting. It had been so long since I had looked at your handwriting:

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“I like to see you too, but you must let me go, I can no longer visit you. Keep me in your heart and in your memories, I will always be by your side in every garden and sunset.”

---

Going over and over the message, something strange happened, the paper vanished in my hands, but the letters remained there and a warmth ran through my body like an energetic embrace 💫.

I looked up and could only continue to stare at the letters, especially, the “keep me” and the “in every garden and sunset.”

Keep me in every garden and sunset... ☀️

...that life is ephemeral, but the heart is not, because it always writes with indelible ink and does not make mistakes.