RE: On my way to winning the Oscar

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That is quite a story. You have developed a complex arc with many potential threads you can follow. This is the aspect of the story that jumps out at us.

You are very skilled at providing details. The story and the people come to life with this careful writing. Your writing is clean, well proofed. The only flaw we would suggest (it's not really a flaw) is that so much is going on you have material for a much larger piece.

For example, you describe the studio where the Three Penny Opera will be produced. That thread could be a complex story of its own. There is the dedication to Dickens and the rationale for wanting to help the underprivileged.

Then there is Angelina, who is obviously important. You could, in a larger piece, develop this interesting character more.

Our recommendation would be to trim some of these threads. Focus on the main idea, which is the protagonist marrying Eliza, losing her and finding a career in Hollywood. Utlimately he wins an Oscar. This is plenty of material for a short story.

You write really well. You pay attention to form and help the reader to see what you see. All good. But sometimes we have to let go of good ideas in order to deliver a story that has clear lines and a defined plot.

Good writing. Thank you for sharing this with us. We appreciate that you engage with other authors in the Inkwell community.



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Thank you so much for this thorough response

I did struggle with which character to let go of and which to keep. I had this story ready yesterday and I didn't think it was good enough because I battled with the characters.

But this morning, I decided to put it out here, and see what you will have to say. And you are saying exactly what I feared could be out of place.

I'll do my best to trim next time. Thanks so much for always providing careful advice.

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