Friendship and Boundaries: Knowing When to Say No.
Sometimes we tend to have issues with those we like or cherish and sometimes this issues might just come like arguements or disagreement sometimes but do you know that this doesn't mean we have a bad plane for this person because we are bound to disagree to agree. That's just how we humans are. I have learnt about this sometimes ago but I didn't have a clear understanding about it but I kept it in my left hand so I wouldn't let it go. But do you know that when stuff like this happens, it's always nice to set clear boundaries so that the other person can tell what you want from what you do not want.
I have a friend that I respect so much, and I try so much to set my boundaries so that I won't go beyond her own principles. Because for me to be friends with someone for more than 5 years now, one should have known what this person likes and what he or she won't like, so you won't go against them. These are part of what will make friendship last longer, and it's said that when you have a principle and have those who respect it, you are indeed lucky.
I had a disagreement with a very close friend of mine because she disrespected me when I did respect her. Actually, this was not supposed to be something I would get annoyed with, but you know, when you don't get annoyed, and you take everything to be a joke, people will make fun of you and be rude to you, and you won't know what to say or do by then. She was with her friends while I was sitting by the side, a bit away from where they were, and she threw a nylon of pure water at me all in the name of a joke.
Immediately, I noticed the atmosphere and I imagined if I did react, the same way her friends will also do and then claim they are joking and that's how it will continue to go on till I won't be able to control it again. Immediately I reacted and I was expecting her to apologize if truly she was sorry and it wasn't intentional but she didn't and immediately I spoke, one of her friends had to tell her to apologize, and that even got me annoyed more because she was still claiming to be right when she did something wrong.
To cut a long story short, no matter what we are doing or the situation we are in, we should always know that setting boundaries is very paramount because it will make people give us our own respect, and no one will trample against our own principles when you have stated them to them. This will let you know who will be a friend to you or not. I know there are times when we might do something wrong and still think we are right. We should also be open to corrections if this is the case. Friends can make one's life change for the better and can also be the other way around; stay wise.
Agree with this for sure - I didn’t set healthy boundaries with some of my friends as a kid and got screwed over often. It’s something I’m teaching my son to do so that he can improve on this issue from my life!
Wao! You have really done well. I plan to do so to my kids when I have them. It's something we all ought to do, regardless of your closeness with your friends. And I have come to realise that, it's only those we cherish that does things that are mostly painful to us. So it's better we avoid that from happening.