Yeah... that's what I'm here to tell you: it's my birthday. Not a big deal (all gifts can be placed carefully off to the side so we don't overwhelm the guests). Make yourself comfortable!

And please do grab some snacks and a refreshment, and just chill out. How has your day been? Anything making waves in your world at the moment? (The Fresh Prince did what now?!)

That's more my style anyway: if I'm having a party, it's about people connecting and having a good time. Nothing too rowdy... I'm getting old!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Yep. On this day in the year 1984, I was born.

(Let's have two minutes of solemn, ambiguous silence...)

It was a cold and stormy late winter morning, and the wolves howled frantically somewhere not far behind the modest cart... our lead horses, bowed into a sprint, barked their way forward into the night.

"Danger be damned... darkness open up wide!" My parents hoped, and prayed their hope would win out. The wolves tired as the moon waned and trailed off... a child was coming, alas.

What a Dickensian Crypto Dave!

I'm just playing... my life has been extraordinarily ordinary from my vantage point. But if you have the means to make a tale taller without hurting anyone, it's worth doing.

And I wanted to give it a sense of antiquity... because, as I said at the outset, I'm getting old. If I looked my age I might be more hesitant to crack jokes, I suppose, but I still get carded for smokes on occasion. (Awkward. 😮)

Anyways, I realize it might seem strange that my only goal with this post is to draw attention to my own birthday... but my title clearly states a cold, hard incontrovertible truth:

My Birthday: My Rules.

I do what I want when I want with whom I feel it could be most egregiously fulfilling, until 11:59pm EST on the 28th day of March. So I'm posting about this most excellent, most sacred day of my birth.

And Reba McIntyre too! Yeah... so just in case you were wondering which day in particular is the coolest to have ever been born, based on celebrities and historical figures: case closed.

Reba Flippin' McIntyre.

That is all.

Oh, I almost forgot to wish all of you beautiful people a very happy UNBIRTHDAY... where are my manners? I would lose my ankles if they weren't in my socks. Thanks so much for stopping by! May springtime keep a steady march. Peace out for now! ✌️

A FEW OF MY RECENT POSTS:

• DEAR BRAVE BROWSER: LOVE YOU, BUT...
• NEW RULE: DON'T SQUANDER STARBITS.