Lucky Words: The list of but and because [SPA/ENG]
(Edited)
el papel de dependiente y puede
suene absurdo e incluso ridículo pero da igual
porque esa sigue siendo la verdad.
La idea de pasar por algo así
nuevamente, no me atrae en absoluto
porque ya se lo que representa
y es algo que desgasta sobremanera.
No quiero que algo así vuelva
a pasar por mi cabeza, sería una idiota
si lo permitiera o tal vez ya lo soy
y simplemente, no me dado cuenta.
Porque todo eventualmente se olvida
y puede o no, que esa sea
la manera con la que planeo
lidiar con esto, algo cobarde pero cierto.
Pero no me molesta admitirlo
porque no está mal no ser genial
todo el tiempo y si voy a fingir,
por lo menos debería hacerlo de forma "correcta".
Como si algo así existiera, un poco
ridículo y para algunos un tanto penoso
pero estoy bien con el simple hecho,
de poder admitir todo esto.
A fin de cuentas, es lo que siento
y al menos no lo estoy ignorando
ni mucho menos negando. Para mí
eso es avance suficiente, pese a lo deprimente.
Puede parecer lúgubre pero eso
es lo de menos porque lo último
importante en este momento, son los pensamientos
ajenos... Sobre todo los que no aportan nada bueno.
Esto probablemente suene feo pero
no se puede esperar menos, no viniendo de mí
porque estoy cansada de ser la madura,
la persona que siempre entiende.
Porque creen que pueden hacer
lo que deseen y que por mí estará bien.
Al parecer no siento, soy de un material
impresionante y nada logra dañarme.
Pero todos los que piensan eso
son unos farsantes, que no ven
más allá de si mismos y creen
que merecen cosas sin sentido.
No me siento mal porque no hay razón
y eso está bien. No hace falta culparme
por cosas que ha hecho alguien más
porque cada quien debe asumir su responsabilidad.
Mi problema siempre fue asumir en exceso
y pensar que las cosas no funcionaban
debido a mí, cuando yo daba todo
y más pero no recibía nada de vuelta.
Porque me enseñaron a sentirme culpable
por cosas que si las piensas bien,
son verdaderamente absurdas pero nadie
se anima a decirlo porque no sería bien visto.
Pero en este punto, me dan igual
todas esas cosas. Cada quien reaccionará
como pueda y nada más, es algo
que no puedo ni podré controlar.
Porque me cansé de culparme, por ser quién soy.
the role of the dependent and it may
sound absurd and even ridiculous but it does not matter
because that's still the truth.
The idea of going through something like this
again, it doesn't appeal to me at all
because I already know what it represents
and it's something that wears me out.
I don't want something like that
to go through my head again, I would be an idiot
if I allowed it, or maybe I already am one
and I just don't realize it.
Because everything eventually gets forgotten
and maybe or maybe not, that's
the way I plan
to deal with this, kind of cowardly but true.
But I don't mind admitting it
because it's okay to not be cool
all the time and if I'm going to pretend,
I should at least do it the "right" way.
As if such a thing existed, a bit
ridiculous and for some a bit embarrassing
but I'm okay with the simple fact
of being able to admit all this.
At the end of the day, it's how I feel
and at least I'm not ignoring it
much less denying it. For me, that's progress enough, depressing as it is.
It may seem gloomy but that
is the least of it because the last thing
important at this moment are the thoughts of others...
Especially the ones that don't contribute any good.
This probably sounds ugly but
you can't expect anything less, not coming from me
because I'm tired of being the mature one,
the person who always understands.
Because they think they can do
whatever they want and that it's okay with me.
Apparently I don't feel, I'm made of
awesome material and nothing can hurt me.
But all those who think that
are phonies, who do not see
beyond themselves and believe that
they deserve meaningless things.
I don't feel bad because there is no reason
and that's fine. I don't need to blame myself
for things that someone else has done
because everyone has to take responsibility.
My problem was always assuming too much
and thinking that things didn't work out
because of me, when I gave everything
and more but received nothing in return.
Because I was taught to feel guilty
for things that if you think about it
are really absurd but nobody
dare to say it because it would be frowned upon.
But at this point, I don't care
about all those things. Everyone will react
how they can and that's all, it's something
I can't and won't be able to control.
Because I'm tired of blaming myself for being who I am.
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