IMPORTANCE OF COURTSHIP & WRONG REASONS TO GET MARRIED || IMPORTANCIA DEL NOVIAZGO RAZONES EQUIVOCADAS PARA CASARSE
I've been looking at recent marriages around me and listening to some sad events that occur in these marriages, and I've been wondering if these couples ever courted before getting married.
I view the courtship (dating) period as the time required to get to know your partner and determine whether or not he or she is the type of person with whom you would live or spend the rest of your life. During this time, you get to know the other person's attitude, his dos and don'ts, likes and dislikes, and any hidden character they may have.
It is a critical period of time that must be observed. For me, courting is not a game, and before I can conclude marrying anyone, I must have known the person and every character the person has before finally making a marriage decision.
I don't believe that marriage is something that should be rushed into because it is a once-in-a-lifetime commitment; however, divorce is becoming more common, and this is largely due to couples not giving themselves enough courtship time before making such a big decision.
When loving up, do so along with your brains...
He estado observando los matrimonios recientes a mi alrededor y escuchando algunos acontecimientos tristes que ocurren en estos matrimonios, y me he preguntado si estas parejas alguna vez cortejaron antes de casarse.
Considero que el periodo de cortejo (citas) es el tiempo necesario para conocer a tu pareja y determinar si es o no el tipo de persona con la que vivirías o pasarías el resto de tu vida. Durante este tiempo, llegas a conocer la actitud de la otra persona, lo que hace y lo que no hace, lo que le gusta y lo que no le gusta, y cualquier carácter oculto que pueda tener.
Es un periodo de tiempo crítico que hay que respetar. Para mí, el cortejo no es un juego, y antes de llegar a la conclusión de casarme con alguien, debo haber conocido a la persona y todas sus características antes de tomar finalmente una decisión matrimonial.
No creo que el matrimonio sea algo que deba apresurarse porque es un compromiso que se adquiere una vez en la vida; sin embargo, el divorcio es cada vez más común, y esto se debe en gran medida a que las parejas no se dan el tiempo suficiente de cortejo antes de tomar una decisión tan importante.
Cuando ames, hazlo junto con tu cerebro...
It is normal to be attracted to someone and like everything about them and to believe that because we are in love, we can get married without having to spend the necessary time getting to know each other. The harsh reality is that love will begin to fade as you learn your dislikes for the person, or you may end up with quite a few things that prevent you from working together.
Es normal sentirse atraído por alguien y que nos guste todo lo que tiene y creer que, por estar enamorados, podemos casarnos sin tener que dedicar el tiempo necesario a conocernos. La cruda realidad es que el amor empezará a desvanecerse a medida que conozcas lo que no te gusta de esa persona, o puede que acabes con bastantes cosas que te impidan trabajar juntos.
The most important thing is to get to know your partner before getting married. Keep an eye out for things and try not to let love consume you. It's not that you're being pessimistic; you just need to gather all the information you require before moving forward. I think it's not too much if it takes three years to date someone.
It is best to end the relationship at the first sign of any kind of red flag because a failed courtship is preferable to a failed marriage. There is always someone better than the person you are currently with, so don't be afraid to start over.
Lo más importante es conocer a tu pareja antes de casarte. Mantente alerta e intenta que el amor no te consuma. No es que seas pesimista; simplemente necesitas reunir toda la información que necesitas antes de seguir adelante. Creo que no es demasiado si tardas tres años en salir con alguien.
Es mejor terminar la relación a la primera señal de cualquier tipo de bandera roja porque es preferible un noviazgo fallido que un matrimonio fallido. Siempre hay alguien mejor que la persona con la que estás actualmente, así que no tengas miedo de volver a empezar.
This is the obvious reason why, when I meet someone I like, I take the time to get to know them better by asking questions (not in an interview-style manner) in an effort to determine whether they are someone I can get along with.
Esta es la razón obvia por la que, cuando conozco a alguien que me gusta, me tomo el tiempo de conocerlo mejor haciéndole preguntas (no al estilo de una entrevista) en un esfuerzo por determinar si es alguien con quien puedo congeniar.
If you and your partner share many interests and similar life goals, it will be simpler to stay together even if your feelings for each other wane over time.
Si usted y su pareja comparten muchos intereses y objetivos vitales similares, será más sencillo seguir juntos aunque sus sentimientos por el otro disminuyan con el tiempo.
What is the point of having a partner who does not share your goals or works to build each other up? So, why is it referred to as a partner?
¿De qué sirve tener un socio que no comparte tus objetivos ni trabaja para construirse mutuamente? Entonces, ¿por qué se le llama socio?
LETTING MONEY BE THE REASON TO MARRY SOMEONE
When I see women who want to marry a man primarily because he is wealthy, I laugh at them. They make having a relationship with any man primarily dependent on money, which is obviously common in today's society.
Even though having money is crucial in a relationship, marrying someone primarily because of his wealth would be a mistake you would later regret. If you marry a wealthy man, it doesn't guarantee that you will inherit his wealth because anything can happen during that marriage.
Yeah! Rich men can be very alluring, but please don't make the mistake of staying with a wealthy man even after spotting warning signs. Additionally, when you notice the critical red flags, don't bother to think he would change. I've come to realise that people don't always change just because you tell them to; instead, they must genuinely want to.
DEJAR QUE EL DINERO SEA LA RAZÓN PARA CASARSE CON ALGUIEN
Cuando veo mujeres que quieren casarse con un hombre principalmente porque es rico, me río de ellas. Hacen que tener una relación con cualquier hombre dependa principalmente del dinero, lo que obviamente es común en la sociedad actual.
Aunque tener dinero es crucial en una relación, casarse con alguien principalmente por su riqueza sería un error del que luego te arrepentirías. Si te casas con un hombre rico, no te garantiza que vayas a heredar su riqueza porque puede pasar cualquier cosa durante ese matrimonio.
Sí. Los hombres ricos pueden ser muy seductores, pero por favor, no cometas el error de quedarte con un hombre rico incluso después de detectar las señales de advertencia. Además, cuando notes las banderas rojas críticas, no te molestes en pensar que él va a cambiar. Me he dado cuenta de que las personas no siempre cambian sólo porque tú se lo digas, sino que tienen que querer hacerlo de verdad.
.....GETTING PREGNANT FOR A MAN....
.....QUEDAR EMBARAZADA PARA UN HOMBRE....
.....QUEDAR EMBARAZADA PARA UN HOMBRE....
In my region of the country, most parents compel their kids to marry the man who causes their daughters to become pregnant, which is funny because their daughters might not even have had enough time to learn everything there is to know about the man. They consequently find themselves in a union that is only held together by pregnancy.
Marrying a man just because he made you pregnant is quite risky, especially if he doesn't really have any intentions of getting married. Any woman who tries it will live a life of frustration.
Therefore, the best course of action in situations like this doesn't necessarily require marriage; instead, the father can care for the child while the woman continues her life. She could then enjoy peace of mind as opposed to being in a coercive marriage.
En mi región del país, la mayoría de los padres obligan a sus hijos a casarse con el hombre que hace que sus hijas se queden embarazadas, lo cual es curioso porque sus hijas quizá no hayan tenido tiempo suficiente para aprender todo lo que hay que saber sobre el hombre. En consecuencia, se encuentran en una unión que sólo se mantiene unida por el embarazo.
Casarse con un hombre sólo porque te ha dejado embarazada es bastante arriesgado, sobre todo si no tiene ninguna intención de casarse. Cualquier mujer que lo intente vivirá una vida de frustración.
Por lo tanto, la mejor forma de actuar en situaciones como ésta no requiere necesariamente el matrimonio; en su lugar, el padre puede cuidar del niño mientras la mujer continúa su vida. Así, ella podría disfrutar de tranquilidad en lugar de estar en un matrimonio coercitivo.
I don't have much to say, but I've recently been thinking about this because I keep hearing about people getting married to people they end up being enemies with. I frequently wonder if there has ever been a courtship.
No tengo mucho que decir, pero últimamente he estado pensando en esto porque no paro de oír hablar de gente que se casa con personas con las que acaba siendo enemiga. A menudo me pregunto si alguna vez ha habido un noviazgo.
I may not be the most qualified person to speak on this subject since I haven't had many relationships and am not even married, but I can't help but express my opinions.
Puede que no sea la persona más cualificada para hablar de este tema, ya que no he tenido muchas relaciones y ni siquiera estoy casada, pero no puedo evitar expresar mis opiniones.
WHO IS STARSTRINGS01
Designed by @ grisvisa
Starstrings01, also known as Giftedhands, attends the Federal University of Agriculture in Abeokuta to study Mechatronics Engineering. He is a lover of the hive, a guitarist from Nigeria, and a student.
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He tries to juggle education with being active on the chain, but his love and passion for Hive keep him on track..
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Thanks man!.. took me time to make it..
I wish I had that understanding 20 years ago... That's right, my friend! But youth is a time of mistakes. My own mistakes... 😜 !LOLZ
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Amazing, you have said well.. most people forget about courtship, there by allowing the attraction they developed cover them from seeing what the future holds
Thank you for this point👌
I know some soured relationships today which were as a result of fear of starting all over, some out of pity...oh!!!, I have known this babe or this guy for a long time now, let me not break his or her heart, forgetting that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage as you mentioned.
Honestly, courtship suppose to be the best time for intending couples to get to know each other but some people bluntly neglect a red flag thinking that the person will change after marriage...hhhmmmm, fat lie, it's always hard for one to change someone's character because of marriage, it's possible but it's rare. For any character you discover in a man or woman which you are not comfortable with and can't deal with it, the best thing is to back out otherwise, you enter that marriage to "endure" a lot of things or perhaps have a broken marriage out of constant disagreement.
Also, Money and pregnancy should never be a yardstick through which people use to hook up with a man all in the name of marriage.... experience has proven that it never ends well via that means.
And finally, you may not have been in so many relationships nor are you married yet, but there is a lot of sense in your opinion.
I hope a lot of singles get to read your view here👌
wow indeed the starstrings is indeed at work once again, actually i support everything you said in the first 4 paragraphs, i think courtship is very essential before making a decision of getting married and moreover marriage is not cake and sweets that you will expect everything to be sweet at all times, this has made me wonder also why most marriages of nowadays fail over little misunderstandings..
The fact is that they haven't taken and spend enough time to understand each others flaws and correcting it if need be and after marriage it worsen and at the end, a marriage of a year has been settled on 5 different occasions based on every week disagreement..
Marriage is indeed not sth we can rush, it is like cooking beans, while picking it, you need to be careful cox if you pick to fast or randomly you will end up eating stones, same as marriage, if you are in a hurry to get married, you wont have the time to study your partner and after marriage you start finding faults in him/her because you didn't court her/him properly...
courtship is very essential and no matter how long it take during courtship dont rush anything, even if its 5 years courtship, don't mind because you aren't preparing for a temporary commitment but a life long commitment and you need to be cautious...
I really enjoyed this first 4 paragraphs because it tells us how important courtship is before proposing a marriage...
hmmmmmm hot bro, it is indeed a fact for you and your partners to have similar interest and not the opposite lolz, you need to first inquire if these person will be able to contribute positivity into your life before taking things further...
lolz it is indeed a fact that most people marry for the wrong reasons, there was a time my friend was telling me that she needs a guy to date jokingly and i said i will introduce my elder brother to her, the next thing she asked me was does he have money, i laughed and he is okay but now i can't introduce you to him anymore that what is the assurance that you will be committed to him the time he gets broke or sapa choke him, she was now like she is joking..
i didn't introduce her to my brother because of that, money is now most females concentration nowadays, what is love without money is what they will tell you...
i have seen several marriages fail too here and instead of the woman to go away, she refuse and stayed all because she wanted her child to have a father and you endure getting beaten up most times, why didn't you make your research before spreading out and u got pregnant, now she cant leave and everyday is punching and slap...
i think you have observed a huge deal of the marriages of nowadays and they should always marry for the appropraite reasons and not vice versa...
thanks for this and i love this..
You've said a lot. And you are right
But, no matter how long you stay with someone you can't know them enough. You should even pray that the things you will find out in the future, you will be able to deal with them.
It takes circumstances to truly know a person. And if during your dating, those circumstances did not show up, you would never know how your partner would react to them.
These days, knowing how much money would help me build my Hive account and stake, I would definitely marry a rich guy 🤧😃. Money is good for any woman who knows how to make it work for her. Not necessarily for her to spend it.
Yes, anything could happen to this money source but if she had learned about her finances before they tied the knot, she wouldn't wait until disaster struck before she starts channeling those funds into investment portfolios.
In this life, it is better to cry into a pile of money than a pile of nothing. Cos, when you are done crying, you can still clean your eyes, and use your money to change the world.
Exactly! It takes time to know someone and circumstances as you have said.
Lol 😂… who would not want to marry a rich guy! It’s always nice have a lady who is at least goal driven to be independent. If such lady sees the opportunity of marrying a rich guy, she would be able to build her own wealth and not necessary depend on her husband.
For me, I am attracted to goal driven ladies.
I am glad you agree 😊
Haha... Who no like better thing 😆
Oh no, my crush is attracted to goal driven ladies.... I am not even close to his spec 😭😭😭😭😭
Marriage is something that is very sensitive and it would be a really big mistake to go into it without knowing your partner very well. Ladies that get pregnant for a man before marriage are mostly at risk because they might not get the opportunity to back out any more.
The red flags are very obvious during courtship but for some reason, some persons think that they are already married or something so they choose to bear some of these things but just like you said, if the other person is not willing to change there is absolutely nothing you can do about it but endure maybe to your death.
Most times we get advice from people which are either positive or negative about the person we want to get married to, we should not just accept them but we still shouldn't throw them away as well but we should carry out our own findings to prove them wrong or right.
Marriage is something that affects almost everyone around you so you have to be careful not to chose the wrong person, sometimes love might be the last thing to even consider because on a norm you should love your neighbor as you love yourself, so you have to love the person before and that is why you have to put other things into consideration first before love.
Thank you so much for sharing your opinions with us on this matter, I will keep in mind your advice.
Sometimes I wonder what kind of a personality does that... countless times have I seen folks hang was around their partners even when they know they are being beaten to stupor. Some just has this mentality that since I am in a relationship it ends between them forever, why would one bear those critical red flags... I tell you why because they don't want to leave, they love the material possessions that comes in, she loves him stupidly and blindly and she feels in her body, spirit and soul that he would definitely change.
Like it's just so annoying seeing these set of girls and I just feel so cheap and ashamed of my gender because of them. There are even some that think that if a guy doesn't know how to beat a girl is a good for nothing, can you imagine that, so some girls that stay in such relationships might also have that stupid thoughts.
I do not know how to erase sure minds from anyone if I meet them but I won't take it lightly if anyone tries to preach that to me in the name of women being submissive.
Marriage is a life time commitment so we should never rush into it if we don't want to rush out of it
But people of nowadays don't take their time to study the person they want to get married to
Once the guy can afford hair and bad for them they are automatically compatible for marriage
And at that end of everything the marriage will have problem once the money is gone and that's where domestic violence comes in and divorce too
Omo even without money being gone, domestic violence happens. I have seen such cases like that. It all boils down to the importance of courtship!
Everyone has a different personalities....it all rallies down to whom you are dating...
For instance, a man whom is ready to settle down now has no much time for the game they go straight for what they seek and this is different from guys that are just for the fun and the cruise ... no commitment...so if a girl is likely to discover that she would know her stance but some would still stick around regardless of those red flags. Dating is perfect for two partners who are matured enough to handle flaws and flaws which is a no-no to quit.
Courtship before marriage is very important but still it's not enough to get married because you can't know all their characters and flaws... haven't you noticed that even your own pal has an attitude you haven't seen or witnessed before??... astonishing right??....who would go to a relationship of three to four years and then quit after wasting that time ...some ladies can't because when they start counting their age and then think about starting afresh hmmm, so sometimes they remain in that toxic relationship regardless of what happens...
If the compatibility doesn't match, there is a problem, there are so many things that are factorized for a marriage to work but what I figured out mostly is that real men needs peace, respect and honor in their homes sadly our generation gives less of it all in the name of wiseness...
Seems I have drifted away from the topic... I'm driving to a point... everyone has a choice and a reason of what they do ...a girl/boy marry a guy for money... it's her choice... but what happens if that money is finished....a girl/boy marry because of fame...his/her choice ... but what happens when fame fades...a girl/boy marry because of real love/real connection and vibes... don't you think it's going to last perhaps prevail?... so you see when all those things aren't there anymore chaos begins and the bond breaks, everyone finding their way to a greener pastures/divorce.
It's more like a game of rising to their expectations... something like that... getting married because of imposed pregnancy is so funny and very risky. That's how domestic violence begins! Letting someone decide your marital life is the worst bondage ever!!
No one would do that to me even my own parents because I am the one who would suffer all the consequences if I listen to them... advices/opinions highly recommended.
I'm not married either to say I have been in these shoes to explain but I have seen and known enough to say my view... have you ever compared marriage of those days and this modern marriages...if you weigh it which is more durable??...
Thanks for pointing this out ...
Brother, truly you are someone with purpose and I love your passion on the Hive blockchain, though I'm a newbie on the blockchain but I have noticed all your good works on the blockchain. All what you said in your write-up are absolutely right, and ladies are the most victims here they are mostly consumed by love even when there are signs of red flags, they don't mind getting married to such man all in the name of love and that is the reason we have a lot of divorce in marriages today, the most annoying part are those ladies getting married to a man because of his wealth/riches/money forgetting that money is like birds which can fly away at any time.
So, Sir for you to put up a write-up like this at this critical moment when our society is struggling with a high rate of divorce cases, it has been God that laid it in your mind and sure God will reward you greatly for this good work. Thanks for sharing, i will love to know you in person probably by chatting on WhatsApp this is my WhatsApp number 08065057486.
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STOPI wish everyone could see this post too!
Nowadays, ladies are running into marriages and that's not funny. They get pressured into it as their peers are doing it and months later they start regretting.