An Update on My Sobriety & Recovery 4/3/22
(Edited)
Hello friends and family, welcome to my recovery update post. I have been doing great mentally, with no bouts of depression, but I do still get overwhelmed by stress occasionally. A lot has gone on since my last post. A ton of people got kicked out of my sober living house, I got a new job, then quit it after a few shifts, and I won a 200 Hive Power delegation, thanks to a raffle drawing on Hive Power Up Day in The Terminal Discord server.
Let's start with the chaos that ensued after I left the sober living house overnight, to help my mom because she hurt her ankle, foot, and toes.
They had to drug test me as per the rules at the sober house. No problem right? Wrong... I tested positive for Marijuana over 30 days since the last time I smoked! Well, long story short, I got very upset, my mom helped me with 50$ to send it out to the lab, to check the levels. Needless to say, my levels were super low, so it wasn't a problem in the long run.
Now, the other people didn't have such an easy time. One guy tested positive for marijuana but tested clean originally when he came in. GOODBYE, they said and threw him out the door to fend for himself. The next guy tested positive for Fentanyl, which is a pretty big deal. Somehow he managed to get back in 3 days later which I do not understand, but oh well. He is a pretty cool guy who ended up taking a few Vicodin for his unbearable tooth pain, which ended up being fake and laced with Fentanyl (watch out boys and girls this is a common occurrence). The last victim was the least suspect of them all... And he didn't even get drug tested originally! IT WAS THE HOUSE MANAGER!!!!
The house manager was having a terrible day, I recall hearing him on the phone arguing with a coworker/manager or someone of the sort, about being drunk at work. Turns out he got fired, for what I assume was drinking on the job, but again it's just an assumption. For the next couple of days, he was gone all day long and showed up very late at night.
One night he started texting me gibberish and playing music at the loudest decibel on his huge stereo system, keeping us all awake long into the night. He started texting in our house's group chat, which included the owner and saying the craziest stuff in a jumble of gibberish and crazy mis-spelling. Needless to say, the owner ended up grilling him asking what he did that night, they drug tested him and kicked him out of the house.
I believe he is going to be moving into another house affiliated with the same sober living owner, and he will definitely no longer be holding a house-manager position. This situation messed me up, as he had 4 years clean and decided to screw everything up over the loss of a job, even though he is a qualified master mechanic with the ability to get a job anywhere, at any time.
I ended up quitting my job at the pizza place right before the drunken foolery at the house. My boss had just me and her working the work-load of 4-5 people. She had her uncle doing deliveries, and when he was in the store, he did next to no work.
I worked 4 hours without even a second to catch my breath, as we constantly were 4-5 orders behind. I expressed my irritation, and she lashed out, claiming I was disrespecting her. She got the worst attitude I have ever seen from a boss in my life.
I tried to keep my cool and be the bigger person and I said, "My anxiety is already a huge issue, and trying to do the work of 4-5 people is just too much, sorry for wasting your time." what I wanted to say was I was going to start drinking again if I continued this job, but they did not even know I was an addict. She fell silent and just said, "yep" proceeding to look very frustrated at me for wasting her time. Well, I guess you can't please everyone.
😯😯😯
I have been spending the night sending applications in on Indeed(a job-hunting website). I have a few health concerns, regarding possible Diabetes, and low testosterone, but we will see the validity of these concerns when I see my doctor on Thursday. I have been staying strong in my sobriety and that is all that matters. Also, I won the 200HP Delegation from the Discord server The Terminal(@theterminal), in a raffle done on Hive Power-Up Day, Thanks so much for all the help you guys :).
Thanks for taking the time to read my post. Please comment, vote, and reblog if you liked the post. And check out some of my previous posts.
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That certainly is a lot of chaos, but you are handling it well! Kudos to you! 🙌
Gotta stay positive or my life will crumble to bits lmao.
Hi @squids sorry to read you had to leave the job, but at least it was a good experiance for you that you can work and also that you are strong enough to quit if a situation does no good to you.
Hope you soon find a new job wich will be better to handle.
Please stay positive and leave this all behind. All those troubles are worth to reach your new life on the other side :-)
It is definitely worth it. I have worked at 2 other pizza places for 6+ months each, and none were even close to the stress this last one brought. On to bigger and better things now. Thanks for the support my friend.
Hold on, my friend! While reading the post and laughing and sad in different places, chaos indeed). But soon you'll remember it all with a smile, if you set the right mindset for the future now.
!PIZZA
Life is definitely a wild ride right now. Thanks for the pizza, I hope it has pineapple on it.
Yes, just the way you like it!)
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Stay strong and believe in yourself. 👍 !PIZZA
Thanks for the support my friend.
A lot of CHAOS in everyone's life. Take care and wish you all the best in your job hunt!
!PIZZA
Thank you, much love ♥️.
Good luck in that job search @squids, it's not easy and takes perseverence, just like Hive does.
With the help of modern day technology, it is super easy to send my resume to tons of employers at a time. I have no worries in finding a job, I'm just glad I had the strength to let the last one go, I can't have toxic people in my life anymore, or my lifes back to square one.
Sorry to hear of all this my friend. I don't quite understand why you quit the job at the pizza place when they depended on you so heavily.
Seems to me that this job might have lead to something much more for you.
But not everyone is like me.
When I was in the Salvation Army Men's shelter, I had no problem staying clean and sober, and would work sometimes 3 (small) jobs per day, saving loads of money, only to go back out as soon as I had to leave (90 days? times up! get out!)
It is often a matter of one step forward two steps back, but you must hang on and keep going forward.
Stay True @squids
It made my anxiety so bad I was going to start drinking just to handle each shift. Maybe I was being sort of weak, but my Dad said some wise words to me recently. "Your sobriety comes first over everything. If you don't stay sober, you will never have a life. If something is making you feel cravings that bad, let it go, nothing is more important than staying clean."
So, i would rather struggle financially, than have to drink to maintain stability. As soon as i touch a drink, or drug I end up losing the job regardless, losing my housing, losing family support, and just about everything.
Not everyone is going to understand the thought process, as most people are not in the same mindset, but thats okay with me.
Thanks for commenting, much love ❤
Oh I understand, and I know it is different for each one of us. Your dad is a wise man.
At this stage, it is the most important thing, to stay clean.
I have a family with 5 kids and 2 significant others and I don’t even live through this much. I feel and read so much busyness in your life I would get anxiety aswell. I enjoy silence but have to work for that. Create it. But you do stand as a force. Hope that the job hunt goes well and mum is feeling a bit less pain.
Your blogs do well so keep it up. Daily posting is also a way to vent. And let emotions role. Good luck and read you soon!
Oh and how was the doc’s appointment Thursday?
The appointment is this coming thursday. My mom is doing good, but her foot still hurts quite bad, but she is still going to work.
My life might be a bit hectic these days, but all the support here on Hive is outstanding. I will continue to post daily as much as I can, I have been loving the chance to vent, and actually be heard. Thanks for the support.