Squirrel Sunday - Bad Squirrel Diets

It is time for another #squirrelsunday

This squirrel is trying out the all walnut diet and she already lost 1 gram of weight. Now she can brag to her fatter friends who are still eating acorns.

The key to the walnut diet is burning more calories chewing through the tough shell. By the time you've gotten to the center you have burned more calories than are in the walnut.

The walnut diet gets taken too seriously by some and they get scrawny.

Not even the hawks want to mess with this scrawny squirrel. Soon she will be checked into the asylum and fed donuts to fatten her up again.

This is a vegetarian squirrel. She only eats tender buds during spring.

Unfortunately squirrels on the all bud diet don't usually last past spring. They search for buds all during summer and winter and find none.

She better switch to eating bugs during the winter. The poor hawks are really having a bad time with all these trendy squirrel diets. Gone are the days of trash fed fatty squirrels.

This normal squirrel will eat anything he can find. He also likes to steal the walnut from the walnut dieters after they have taken the time to chew through the hard husk. Maximum calories for the least amount of work.

Sure I'm fat but at least I'll survive the winter you fools. Now give me that half eaten sandwich. The hawks are secretly trying to use advertising messages to encourage more squirrels to be like this guy. Nothing like a nice marbled fat on a squirrel says the hawk advertising executive...