England's Green and Birdsong - Again

I'm sitting on the back steps of my mother in laws garden. It was an effort to get here and I'm breathless, hammered by the virus I brought back from Spain, which I won't name as it's controversial enough. Either way, its a damn sight stronger than a cold and my body is out seeking anitivirals in sunlight and beesong.

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I've been rather detached from socials these last few weeks, failing to see a point. The connections I've been wanting to make I haven't, despite plans. The most valuable relationships seem the ones right in front of me, and right now, it's with the self and cells as I try not to do battle with the weeds of this illness. I shook and shivered the whole way across the Bay of Biscay on a rocking ferry.

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Landing at Plymouth I still had many stories of the road to tell but such is my current state I'm struggling to look backwards and only into this moment. I stared into England's greenery and broke my heart for the hundredth time knowing I was leaving again soon. The rain in this country turns everything fluorescent, especially when you drive under tunnels of oak. Buttercup washes Europe off her in puddles and me, hey, I wear my Aussie wellies aka flip flops to rush into Tesco to buy ready made soup because I'm craving comfort food, and my feet are momentarily washed with England's muck.

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My mother in laws garden is stunning and full of roses and other plants I cannot name. She shouts at my sister in laws collie: 'not the dahlias, Willow!'. But collies cut their paths and cannot change them. You're best to plant dahlias to the left a little. I can't express how lovely it looks because my throats dry andy chest is heaving. Fucking COVID. She goes to stay at her boyfriend's in the caravan so she is sure she hasn't got it. Old folk don't last as long.

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The sun comes out for a day and I let it soak into me, berate me like a ratchetty day nurse for being so poorly. The roses away in the wind. The birds are silly pretty, more soothing than a cockatoos craw. A pigeon coos like it's happy not to be made pie.

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Geraniums I know, and foxgloves too, that ran wild over Europe whilst we travelled. I'm sorry to be back. But Dad's sicker than me and I must be leaving soon. Goodbye travel plans and foots free and loose on the earth plans. Goodbye mushroom foraging in Poland plans. Goodbye Northern Cale plans.

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Fuck cancer. Flights are expensive. I breath in the warm air. That at least is free and full of hope.

Shut up sorry me. Shut up me who looks at her navel. Shut up sad me. Shut up brat me. Shut up regretful me.

Lay down me in the warm wet grass me. Damn I've had a good few months, me. Imagine your garden waiting for you back home in the Spring. Two Springs in a year and you're complaining? Ah, fuck complaining.

With Love,

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I was just thinking about you, my dear. I'm sorry. For everything. You're not a brat. You're a human. And that's okay. <3 Sending all the love. While you're still on this side of the big wide water, and post is cheaper. <3

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Shoot! Did the dreaded phone call arrive? When are you off? I hope you spend more quality time with your dad when you get home. Take care

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No, just he's stopped treatment and will only have months now so I'd like to spend time with him. I'm trying to book now but it's so exy. Any tips? I tend to look for Emirates because they're a good airline but I usually buy them a lot cheaper. Do you know anything about other food long hail flights that way? 2500 pounds is insane. I know it's peak time but sheesh.

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Summer is a bummer time to travel. I know lots of people travel Turkish Airlines nowadays from Asia to Europe coz they seem to be pretty cheap. Are you looking for single tickets? Just did a quick search from London to Melbourne return with Singapore Airlines and it's under £1k. Could you not travel the return leg, or leave it open? Alternatively, try flying long haul out from Europe because I hear London long haul fights are very expensive coz of all the taxes etc. Bristol has lots of flight to Europe so you can try hopping out from there.

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I think I tried every iteration for three days and to be honest it's such a long hard slog anyway to get out there I didn't want to risk hopping or being with an airline without some kind of decent rep for comfort. Ended up finally buying some this arvo .. 900 quid one way with Quantas but at least I will get the rewards points for next time we fly back. Didn't make a helluva difference with getting return. You needed up paying more to be able to change the date and as I don't know when exactly we can return, there seemed little point

Have to say I'm pretty sad about going home, but at least I'll miss out on the steam fairs.

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Oh no! Have you had it before? I sure hope you can shake it by the time you get back. Might not be good to see your dad when still contagious... I am sorry your trip was cut short, and in such a way. I am sorry to hear about your dad too. Lots of (long distance, I've had it twice already) hugs for you!

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Ah yes it's my second time too. THe first took months to recover from, which worries me a little, but I'm sure this time will be better. Positive thinking! Yeah, I waver between 'that's life' and internal swearing :P

Love to you as well. Hope all is well. Sorry I havne't caught up on your blog. Finding it really difficult.

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I send you lots of strength to recover from your illness and blessings to your dad, may all the bad things pass soon ❤️🌹

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Sending you lots and lots of love ❤️❤️❤️ such challenging times right now.
Good you write it out.

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So sorry you have been struck by the lergie... sending lots of healing thoughts. Sounds like a rough time for you. but yep the flowers are beautiful and enjoy the fresh air.

same here... won't bore you all with the deets, been a shitter, ... but i'm back on the hive sauce and back posting and video making.

take care

BLINGIT

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