Vibe alone until you're Valued.
I don't know if you are an active user of Quora or Reddit but recently I'm using both of the platforms just for fun. Though I'm occupied by many things but answering some questions helps me to reflect my understanding better.
While I was using Quora the other day, one question popped in my feed saying, " If being alone/going outside alone is okay or it will make us 'unsocialized'?
I guess this is an age-old question in our minds. If society will accept us if we stay alone sometimes or be single, whether or not we will lose our social skills. I also struggled with this, especially when I was a student at the University.
Society doesn't accept the 'alone' concept. It's still a stigma like if anyone shopping alone, eating alone, or being single. To me, I always believe that if you are comfortable being alone then there is nothing wrong with it.
Another thing is maintaining the fine line between alone and lonely. If I can manage to be alone without feeling lonely then that is the perfect strength we create for us. In this wired world, it's definitely a plus point if anyone has the courage to put things together on their own, right?
I answered the girl the same thing.
Moreover, I guess we all have the experience of feeling underpowered in a group hangout or shopping, whatever it is. I don't know how many times I questioned myself about my social skill, felt guilty because I was not fitting in. Later I understand that the things I was trying will never fit for me because as an introvert everything was not for me.
It's better to vibe alone, relax and have some 'me' time rather drained out by being with people the people that don't value/respect/understand/treat ourselves better.
If people around you will really care for you, they will not bother you when you want to have some alone time. I find it very true in my life. And guess what? You will find some real gem, the person you are looking for if you follow this rule. Just like I found my man!
You value yourself. This is the motto of my life.
I spend half of my life waiting for others to make me feel valued and treat myself well. In this race I almost lost myself, I never thought about self-care, my mental health status. Don't fall into this trap. It's a plus point if you find people that really care for you. But always be there for yourself. Never let yourself feel down if you don't get validated by society.
Have a good day, everyone!
Looking at the current world status, no one is ever totally "alone"
Why do I say that?
Social media got the attention it has because it really created a room for people to mingle without actually heading out. Here on Hive, we socialize with each other, being that we have a common goal.
Not that there's a problem with being totally alone, everyone needs some time alone once a while, but if it's a day in day out typa thing, then it only leads to missed opportunities.
Social media is like a window to me from where I see the world. And for many this adds no value to their real life.
I'm talking about every day daily life. I believe it's better to be alone than being with toxic people. It's just not a day in day out thing to me but a practice. And I strongly believe life comes with different opportunities, we can explore them by our own.
Anyway...as an introvert my thoughts are different from you maybe.
I really appreciate your opinion. Have a great day ahead.
♡♡♡
Honestly, you wrote wonderfully and the writing on your last line fascinated me.
Thanks a lot for your appreciation.
This is an interesting aspect, because I live with autism spectrum disorder. I had problems with face-to-face communication for years. I improved over time, but my social skills are still different than the social skills of a "normal" person.
Some people use the "autistic" word in pejorative ways. For example to mock, insult and opprobriate others. As if autism and being an autistic person would be a bad thing. As if they would use "autistic" instead of "stupid". I do not feel offended about this. These people probably do not know what it is like to be an autistic person. And you do not even have to born with it. You can also become one.
Awwz I didn't know about this that you have autism spectrum. Do you want to know a fun a fact? When I diagonised with high level of hypothyroidism during my pregnancy, I couldn't help but thought that my baby will be born with some kind of disorder. With fears and tears I started reading, making myself prepared for it so I can welcome him, make him more comfortable in this world. He didn't get any disorder but that learning helps me to understand a lot about specially able people.
Moreover, I'm a very introvert person. When people give me side eyes because I shop or eat alone. It make me feel uncomfortable. Though it should be normal like anything else.
Good to talk to you. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Agree. When I was single, sometimes I go to the mall/restaurant/cinema by myself. My mom felt sorry for me, she thought I had no friends. But actually, I was the one who wanted to be alone, away from some friends, and actually really enjoyed my solitude. I can freely go wherever and whenever I want without having to adjust the schedule or desire of my friends. Turns out being alone could make me happy and more relax.
But it depends on the situation. Sometimes it's also necessary to be somewhere with friends. But it has to be friends who can give positive vibes, not the toxic ones.
I totally got you. I passed similar time when was finishing my study. People think we are wired coz we love to be alone. It's not contradictory to socializing at all if we maintain/balance it in other ways. Like you said, sometimes it necessary to hangout and be with good people. But if they are not available, vibe alone. That's my thought.
Good to see how you put your thoughts in. I really appreciate it. Have a good day.
wow, i so love the way you expressed your thoughts!
Thanks for your appreciation 😊
That's same thing happened with me. I always give priority to others but every time they broke my heart.
Then I decided to change myself. At present , I am happy in my life.
That's great. I really appreciate that you understand this and changed as per.
Have a good day.
You too ma'am.
I believe people who know how to vibe alone hold some type of a superpower, nothing less. Yet, it is a superpower which can only be developed with time, unlike our by-born talents.
Totally. When I realized I can take care of myself even in my worse, I came to realize there's nothing that can stop me now.
It's sure a superpower.
Thanks for sharing your words.
Hell yeah, that's the way, love that energy haha 🍻