Houston Dennis Grows Up

Houston Dennis' Story

Houston isn't very approachable. But even if he didn't have buck teeth, a menacing beard, and greenish eye circles he still wouldn't have the confidence to just start talking to you. He is mostly a people-hater because they always judge him, calling him names like "Texas Tennis". No one really knows the real Houston.

After high school, and after several menial jobs, Houston saved up enough money to travel to the Middle East, his favorite region! He visited many exotic markets and went to casinos as well. He met a man who called himself Turki bin Abdullah at one such casino.
Somehow, Houston made it to the high stakes room, where he met a mysterious man who liked to bet. He won thousands of dollar's worth playing Houston Hold'em from this man, who is apparently a prince! The man was easy to read but sometimes it was just pure luck! When the prince was done gambling, he gave Houston a keffiyeh.
Using the money he won, Houston went on more shenanigans. He rode a camel and even fell off. He bought a small vial of crude oil, along with a small nugget of gold. Once he was finally done, which took about three months total, he went back home.
Back home, Houston some of his small fortune to become an amateur mycologist (one who studies mushrooms) and cultivated some magic mushrooms of his own! When they turned ripe, he went on a wild ride...
At some point poor Houston Dennis went delusional and thought he was Spiderman. This caused him to attempt to jump a small fence and fall. When he awoke, he found himself laying in his bed (thank goodness!) with a swollen wrist. Everything around the house seemed otherwise normal. The lock on the door was not all the way in the locked position though so someone definitely could have come in. Houston spent the next few days with little recollection of his adventure and only thinking about the worst possible potential situations.

I should be more careful! I could have broken my wrist! What if I could have lost my keys? What if I never made it home?

What if this and what if that. Houston Dennis slowly became a paranoid person. He would often find himself reminiscing about his adventures and wonder how he could ever bring himself to do something so brash. He is too scared to work, since he knows that's just accident waiting to happen, so he invests his money instead.

These days he spends his days golfing (and keeping his past a secret). "It's very relaxing," Houston says. Unbeknownst to anyone else, there are occasionally small mushrooms growing on the green and, when they are the right kind, he eats them. That is his favorite part of the sport.