Such is life!!! Story of my friend.

You see this life......if you don't learn to say "no", people will keep coming to you until they drain everything out of you. This is the life where there are a few selfish ones who will not tell you there is a pit ahead of you until you fall into it, and they start to fake their sorry for you. Not everyone would want the best for you. Even if you succeed, they only know how to receive but to give back isn't in their dictionary.

Right from time, I have been a generous giver. I give from my heart and do not expect in return from such a person because I know only God rewards. But one thing that hurt me is knowing that you are taking advantage of me for your selfish gain. It hurts me and once I know, it's hard for me to render help to you again.

It is not as if I want to keep enjoying the benefits alone but many times, I have invited my friends and those I do not know to come and taste what I enjoy by working hard too but they refused. I will always work hard to give the best to myself and my siblings and there would be someone somewhere expecting to receive from the little I have — I don't complain because I do it when I can afford it. No one will force or kill me, and no one works for me. So, whatever is in my capacity to do, I do it. But when I am tired to an extent, especially knowing you aren't being considerate and grateful, then good riddance to bad rubbish if that is what you want.

I don't know if I made a mistake here but I would want your opinion on this issue bothering my mind for some days as I kept thinking if I did something wrong or that it is the right thing to do.

Everyone is hustling to survive. We all have our problems we are dealing with. When I tell you my problem, it isn't because I want you to pity me but to be considerate and understand why some things happen the way they do.

There is a friend of mine, we only met during my college years in the year 2012 and after graduation in 2015, we got separated. The next thing I heard was that she got married and had a child. As a good friend, I visited her with some gifts when she had her naming ceremony. Then it started with her asking for a little amount to take care of her child, I would blindly give her because I assumed she needed help since I am single and do not have much responsibility. It wasn't as if I was working with a big salary then. I was a teacher with just #12k (less than $15) as salary and whenever she requested money, I gave her because it was something I enjoyed doing, not knowing she had taken advantage of it and kept billing me.

I never for once gave it a thought that she was ripping me slowly. All I was doing was for God's sake. Once she had collected money from me, she would not call to ask how I was doing until she needed my help another time.

It was after 4 years I got to realise what she was doing to me. It was during that time she had another child and would always come to me, saying, "my children need pampers, this and that...." the kind girl in me would pity her situation as she narrated how her husband's work wasn't flowing well. This was someone we both had plans while in school. We planned not to rush into marriage once we finished our NCE programme but she got pregnant before graduating and had to do the marriage. It has been tough for her which I felt pity for her but I am tired already.

Whenever she comes to me for help, I will also explain my situation, would remind her of how I am struggling too with no one to help me. My siblings are in the university and they are my responsibility. I am still in school and no one is helping me other than my big sis. I also need help. But she will keep begging me to help her, I would still do it for her.

After my degree, she called me one day and immediately told me to send some funds to her as if she charmed me. She now made it a right to request any amount and expect me to forward the money instantly without blinking. I kept looking at myself like a fool. This hurt me. I couldn't imagine having a friend who behaved this way even when I explained my situation and how I needed money for things too.

She would even text me unannounced, following with her account details and order me to transfer urgent two thousand naira to her.

Some people feel that when you don't ask for money or share your problems with them, you are doing fine. I don't like sharing my issues with anyone except my siblings because I have experienced some of my friends who only want from me but would tell you they don't have when you go to them. I feel like I am always being used by them and they have taught me a lesson. People will only surround you when you have something to give to them but stay away when there is nothing from you.

The only time this friend calls me is when she needs my help and since I have known that, I stopped picking her calls again. The day I arrived home for my Grandma's burial, she called me and after greeting me for a while, she requested money again. I was pained because I even explained my reason for coming home. I told her of my Grandma's death and the burial taking place at the moment. I expected her to understand, but all she wanted was for me to transfer money to her. I angrily cut the call. As if that wasn't enough, she texted me last week to forward some amount of money to her account. Did she work for me? I was surprised by such an attitude from her. I pretended not to see the message and kept ignoring her calls whenever she called. She even used a private number to call me several times but didn't pick it up. What a life!

Have I done anything wrong? Whenever I see her calls, it is all about money for her and the children. She never mentioned anything about her husband to me again and I never bothered to ask. I am only pained at her inconsiderate attitude towards me. She never texted to ask about my welfare, or how I was doing, what is happening in my life, etc but all she ever does is send me a text to forward money to her account. What rubbish! It is unfair and she has made me see her as someone who would suck you and never mind if you don't learn to say "no".

We have friends and we need them around us but when it gets to the point of taking advantage without showing concern, I think it's time to let go of them. I have been thinking of blocking her number from my contact but changed my mind not to do it. But she is an example of friends to take away from my life. I don't want someone who won't ask about my well-being or even chat to gist me but keeps coming for money all the time as if she has the right to.

Thanks for your time on my blog.