We complicate things
Recently, I've found myself doing something that is starting to feel like a habit. Nowadays, rather than just sit indoors when I have nothing to do, I go downstairs to this shop owned by an acquaintance just directly in front of my hostel and just sit there with friends.
Most times we sit there for hours, discussing about nothing in particular, just random topics that varies from the people passing by, to some news on the internet or something very very random. I find doing that a lot more relaxing and less boring than having to sit indoors all day with no one to talk to and nothing to do.
So it's kinda like my daily routine now, whenever I'm done with whatever work I have to do, I head on downstairs to go be with the boys there. And the good news is that there is always someone seated there, waiting for someone else to come join them.
Anyways I had gone to sit there as usual today but rather than engage in the fun meaningless conversations that we usually have, I had found myself getting lost in thought after watching different people walk past. The reason for me being lost in thought was due to something that happened few minutes prior to that time.
You see, one of the boys there had tried talking to a lady who was walking by and for some reason she had decided to be rude to him before walking away. And although my friend handled the whole thing like a champ, that whole encounter got me thinking why we humans sometimes make it hard to be friends with one another.
And I know that at first, this might seem like a dumb question but hear me out. I've said it countless times how my view on life is, how simple I feel communicating in life could get if we all just stop trying to be difficult or thinking too much about things.
A guy could easily approach another guy on the road and they both would have conversations like two normal people, and I'm assuming that a lady could do the same with another lady too, but why is it always a different case when both genders are involved?
Why do we always have to think differently when it comes to a guy and a lady? Why can't we have the same mentality that we have when a guy is talking to a guy, and the same for ladies?
Now I know the first response would be because a guy approaching a lady most likely means that he's trying to woo her, but is that always true? Can't a guy approach a lady simply because he just wants to be friends?
Everytime I think about it, I get disappointed because I happen to be one of those guys who enjoys talking to different people just for the sake of talking and nothing else.
Unfortunately I can't do that with the other gender because the moment I approach them, they automatically think I'm trying to woo them, so their next response is determined on if they like what they see or not... And being the kinda guy that I am who hates getting embarrassed, I just decide to stay away and not even find out what their answer would be.
I don't think anyone directly wants to be friends with anyone in a single day even if both person is male or female. There always have a reason when 2 person talk to each other for the first time. And in the case of ladies maximum of men approach them for the same intention. So thinking that is quite natural for ladies. I think you might not write about it if the same thing happened between two males. In that case, it would not be an interesting topic.
Secondly, it is not necessary to make friends on the road. I don't think your friend approached the lady just to make friends and that's why he received the behavior. Ladies are quite sensitive and they understand it better why one male approch to them.
Hehe. Did I talk too much? I just try to represent the different perspectives of your thoughts. nothing else.
I understand all you've said, although I feel you might not have totally understood what I meant.
Very true and I wasn't asking for anyone to be friends on the first day, you also don't have to be difficult the first time someone is trying to talk to you.
True, but the fact that there is a reason doesn't mean it's a meaningful one. Someone might just want to be friends with you because they like the way you walk or smile.
This, I understand... They react based off of their experience.. It's sad but true.
It's not wrong either.. You can make friends anywhere.. It's not like there are rules or laws about certain places where one could try to make friends with someone else.
Well you never can be too sure about this.. Like I said, he could have approached her probably because he liked something about her, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he was trying or was going to hit on her.
I guess at the end of the day, people react based on past experiences and sadly when it comes to this particular topic, most people (especially the female gender) hasn't really had the best of experiences.. So yeah, I do understand when they react that way.