Finding a reason

Experience has taught me that we don't always have to like what we're doing to do it. As long as we know what we're doing is the right thing to do, we just have to find a reason to do it, to keep on pushing. And funny enough, I've come to find out that the reason doesn't always have to be an excellent one, but a good enough one, just as long as you're not doing anything bad and it keeps you going, it's fine.

_{Photo by Esteban Castle}

Back in the year 2018, I used to have this job that I hated with passion because it starts at 5:30am and ends at 10pm every day for five days in a week. So the job was stressful and the payment was nothing to write home about. But I took the job at the time because I had nothing else to do and was always feeling bored staying at home alone during the day when everyone had left for work.

Well, two weeks into the job and I realized that this wasn't a job I would be doing for long. So I had told my family of my intention to quit the moment I get paid my first salary, a decision which my family agreed with because they too saw how stressful the work was and how stressed I was ever since I started.

But on my third week into the job, I saw myself developing feelings for a coworker of mine and we would occasionally walk back home together. She also was employed the same day I was and probably got real close to me because of that reason, because we were both the newcomers there and were both learning everything about the job together.

It didn't take long before I saw myself looking forward to going to work, not because of the job itself but because of this lady. I was falling in love with her and would wake up early to go to work just so I could see her face. I never made my feelings known to her because I was satisfied with just being a secret admirer and that was mainly because I had no intentions to date anyone at the time.

But you see, I started getting accolades and praises from my manager at the time due to how punctual I was to work, but unknown to him, my punctuality had nothing to do with the job itself but something entirely different. And surprisingly, I never really saw it that way, that me finally getting a reason to come to work was making me ignore the negative sides of the job until two months later when she quit the job.

It turned out I wasn't having the same effect she was having on me and she had to leave the job because of how stressful it was for her. I had also left that same month because the moment she left, it felt as if a huge piece of clothing was removed from my eyes and I could see clearly how working there was nothing less than slavery itself, when in reality, the only thing that changed was her not working there anymore.

So you see, I left the job the moment my reason for being there was no more. Although if I had found another reason, preferably something that didn't have to do with a lady, I probably would have worked there for a while, which is also why it's very important when looking for a reason to do something, for us to look for a good enough reason and not something as dumb as mine.