Narrow Escape

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(Edited)

Her baring headlight flooding the lonely road is her only succor at this point. The cold night air is even made more tensed by the howling noise from far away wild animals bearing witness to the late king's burial ceremony. He was know as the leader of all great hunters.

Its 9pm and Jane is still stuck in this forbidden path with no one insight. Of course, no one should be seen here at this time of the night on this day that the prominent king is going to be put to rest.

The bushes making such a dangerous dark pattern of shadows under the full moon is in fact making a statement that made her stomach churn and want to cry out for help but that would be stupid thing to do because they were out there marching and dancing to the late kings praises. She could hear them and their voices was getting closer than ever.

She reached out to her ignition again and continued switching it on severally hoping that luck is on her side. That seem like her only option, she just kept doing it frantically with shaky hands.

A feeling of a certain presence made her look up from what she was trying to fix and there he was, a huge form of a man dressed in black and standing right in front of her baring headlight. Not even her lights revealed his features or face. Her attempt to scream was cut short as she choked on her own saliva when he swerved to the right side of the bush and blended with the darkness there.
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With an adrenalin rush she started to hit the stuffs in front of with both hands and legs as though it will help fix it. She cursed the damn driver that did this to her.

"Dear God, help me! You showed me but I didn't listen!" She said some confused prayers in between sobs as she kept trying to turn on the car hoping that some sort of miracle will happen.

Earlier that day...

Four hours later and she's still waiting for Gambo, her driver, who had told her he was on his way.

"He's lucky my dinner party won't start till 7pm."
She thought out loud in a relaxed and unbothered voice as she stood up to peer through her window for the umth time that afternoon, with a cup of drink in her hand which seemed to be doing a good job keeping her emotions in check.

"Even so! I feel taken for granted!" As if she just realised she wanted to be angry, she added. Her irritation beginning to grow

She had planned that he'd take the car to the mechanic this morning for servicing before they headed for the event.

That's it! One more hour and I'd go by myself!. She concluded as she downed the rest of her drink and stormed inside her bedroom for a nap.

Setting a thirty minute alarm, she placed her phone beside her and got cosy under the sheet.

Soon her alarm rang and it was time to get ready. Her agitation from a while ago had disappeared and is now replaced by a strange feeling. One she got from the dream she just had. For some strange reason she couldn't remember the details of the dream. It only left her with the feeling.
She easily shrugged it off as she slid on her newest gown collection. Trying out new cloths has always been therapeutic for Jane and a simple but elegant red dress such as this excites her. With a certain design allover to make it look different from the everyday flair gown, it just takes her breath away. Its designer light brown woven waist belt made it even more adorable.

She decided to so silk press her black Jamaican curly hair to add some classiness to the look.

"Damn! I look good." She said to her reflection in the full length mirror before picking her phone to take some selfies.
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Two more shuts and she realized if she didn't head out now, she'd be late.

...In the present.

"Zoom!" The car jerked and moved. she fired some more, matched on the accelerator and drove off without looking back or paying attention to the group of men that were approaching her from behind. They were all dressed in red wrapper on their waist and each holding a hot calabash full of smoke in hand. They were the kingsmen offering sacrifice but she was on her way home...to safety.

      THE END.


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11 comments
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You play very well with the tension in the first part of your story and then you reassure the reader while your protagonist is dressed in red.... We are thankful that the car ignites and that such a pretty girl comes out healthy in the face of the threat of the slaughterers.
I like your writing style in this story, it gives a sense of spontaneity, @ozohu.

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Oh thank you so much for your kind words! It makes me want to write more and be a better writer.

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Reading this story is like looking at a harmonized painting through contrast. Thank you for writing this well written story in @theinkwell, @ozohu.
Please keep your presence in the posts of fellow writers.

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That was an exciting story. Good thing Jane was able to go back to the safety of her home after that thrilling"adventure". Okay, maybe "adventure" was not the right word to use here but I'm sure Jane found it thrilling. That being said, I do hope her experience taught her the value of patient, and not impulsively go out at alone because she couldn't wait to get her car fixed.

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Its an experience no one will forget in a hurry. Trust me.

Thanks for reading and engaging. I'm happy you found it worth the while.

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Good job with the writing prompt of the week, @ozohu. This story has a lot of suspense and action!

I have some feedback for you. Do you know about our article that provides tools for checking your stories for wording and grammar issues before posting? You can find it [here]((https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@theinkwell/writing-tip-of-the-week-30-help-for-the-grammatically-challenged). If you use Google docs to draft your content, you can find and fix most errors before posting.

Here are a few edits you might want to make to improve the story:

Of cause, no one should be seen here at this time of the night on this day that the prominent king is going to be put to rest.

"Of cause" should be "Of course."

Her attempt to scream was cut shot as she choked on her own saliva

"Cut shot" should be "cut short."

She concluded as she dawned the rest of her drink

"She dawned" should be "she downed."

Good luck and keep writing!

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Thank you so much for mentioning! Will take the advice serious.

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