Campsite Cleanup #14: Turquoise Lake, Where We Built A Fire During A Stage 1 Fire Ban
Hi there it's me again @otherbrandt and I'm once again mostly happy to report that I am still alive and well and surviving this #tentlife experiment as best as it can be survived by the likes of a man like me who owns neither Dometic portable refrigerator nor Jackery power station nor Mercedes-Benz Sprinter van.
Lack of the aforementioned luxuries will likely do me in at some point out here in this wild crazy world of homeless nomadic dirtbaggery but I am not afraid. If I wake up frozen to death in my tent on some cold and snowy future morning then so be it. My ashes will be laughing as they lift off from the mountaintop and soar across a valley filled with those who are still yet cursed to suffer existence. Suckers.
Anyhow. Recently me and my whimsically drifty and inconsistently shifting Subaru, Yolo McFukitol, were camping at an actual developed campground called May Queen along Turquoise Lake in Leadville, Colorado. As you might surmise this is very odd behavior for us; we typically avoid established campgrounds like the plague police, because like the police established campgrounds are full of shit and they will take your money. Me and YMF both share a deep hatred of shit and an equally deep love of money, hence our preference for dispersed campsites that are free of both shit and charge.
But anyway there we were—parked and pitched at May Queen's campsite #9, complete with a picnic table and grill and permanent metal fire ring, waiting for our friend from Denver to show up so we could build a campfire during a Stage 1 fire ban, because the only place you could legally build a campfire during a Stage 1 fire ban was in one of those permanent metal fire ring things which are only to be found in established campgrounds, and our friend from Denver really, really wanted a campfire that weekend.
Fine. Let's have a goddamn campfire and get hammered on tequila and forget to take any pictures of any of all that.
How about some pictures of trash instead:
Let's begin with an empty can of what Starbucks likes to call coffee, this one turned out to be flavored with vanilla and fortified with guaraná, vitamins, and some sort of weird witchcrafty-sounding additive called ginseng. I don't even want to know what happened after this "coffee" went down some hellbound litterbug's hatch. This whole campsite is probably cursed and I will probably wake up frozen to death in my tent tomorrow morning.
Looks like a piece of wrapper from some sort of chocolate candy bar thing. Nobody eats chocolate anymore so this must be quite old. I will see what I can get for it at the local antique store.
Ah, there you are my little friend, I've been missing this whiskey flask for several lifetimes now and have always been wondering when and in which reincarnation it might show up. Perhaps this campsite is not cursed after all? Or is this apparent blessing simply a curse in disguise? One can only wonder and wait to see if the universe will speak. After all we are all each one of us little missing whiskey flasks in each of our own individual ways, and it can be said that together we all of us make up that One Great Whiskey Flask in the sky that never runs dry. Does anyone have any whiskey because I really need a drink right now.
No campsite cleanup would be complete without toilet paper. Not sure why I even bother photographing this shit, it's everywhere. Unlike money, which never seems to be in abundance no matter where I go. If there is anyone out there reading this who accepts used toilet paper as currency please don't hesitate to get in touch, I will give you the best rates around, guaranteed. Yes I take shitcoins.
Aww yeah, free tent peg! Still pounded right into the ground right where they pounded it in, they must have somehow missed this one when packing up their tent! Know what that means? What that means is, first of all free tent peg, second of all, someone in the past probably got pounded within about six feet of right where we're standing right now! Aww yeah! Didn't think I was going there with that one did you but yep that's exactly where I just went! Bangin'! Goddammit I really need to get laid.
Oh! Lo and behold! The litter hath presented a puzzle unto me! I shall now put all of these pieces together so as to discover their true original form!
Actually you know what fuck it, that's close enough. I could really use a beer.
Close enough.
🤨
twice..
You just beat that dude that rose from the dead. Once.
Time to start a religion!
!PIZZA
PIZZA Holders sent $PIZZA tips in this post's comments:
@otherbrandt(2/10) tipped @ewkaw (x1)
Join us in Discord!