Short Story: Extremely Perfect (esp/eng)
Fuente | Source
Así que realmente Amelia nunca fue una niña problemática, ni siquiera ocasionó problemas o dolores a la hora de venir al mundo. De bebé siempre fue muy lista, con tan solo 3 meses hablaba, caminaba y nunca lloraba, de hecho casi que podía atenderse sin ayuda. Su familia la recuerda como una niña muy feliz, nunca la vieron llorar. Jamás se enfermó y ahora que recuerdo, durante el tiempo que estuvimos juntos tampoco la noté enferma.
En la escuela era la estudiante número uno de la clase pero no solo eso, también fue siempre la más popular. Y es que conforme fue creciendo Amelia logró encajar en todos los estereotipos y a la vez en ninguno: La mejor estudiante, la más popular, capitana de las porristas y presidenta de la clase, tocaba instrumentos, bailaba, era buena en ciencias, matemáticas, literatura, arte, sociales y deportes, alcanzando siempre los lugares más altos en todas las disciplinas.
Definitivamente no puedo dejar de mencionar lo increíblemente guapa que era Amelia, desde la coronilla de la cabeza hasta los dedos de los pies. Era alta pero no demasiado como para acomplejarse, tenía un cuerpo de impacto con todo en su lugar y una cabellera y ojos que me quitaban el aliento. Su sonrisa era literalmente perfecta, jamás tuvo una caries o alguna desviación en su dentadura y sus dientes eran tan blancos como la leche. Jamás sufrió de acné, ni siquiera cuando estaba en sus días o cuando quedó embarazada, su rostro y piel siempre fue tan suave como la piel de un bebé.
Amelia was always the perfect woman, and I'm not just saying that because I was in love, she really was perfect in the extreme. We met when we were 18 years old, in the first semester of college, for her it was the first of the three careers she studied. She was born on July 7th, 1977, so her birth date was: 7/7/77, and not only that but she was also born at 07:07 in the morning just when her mother sneezed and coincidentally gave birth to her, without labor pains.
So really Amelia was never a problem child, she never even caused any problems or pains when she came into the world. As a baby she was always very smart, at only 3 months old she talked, walked and never cried, in fact she could almost take care of herself without help. Her family remembers her as a very happy child, they never saw her cry. She never got sick and now that I remember, during the time we were together I never noticed her sick either.
At school she was the number one student in the class, but not only that, she was also always the most popular. And as she grew up Amelia managed to fit all the stereotypes and at the same time none of them: the best student, the most popular, captain of the cheerleaders and class president, she played instruments, danced, was good in science, math, literature, art, social studies and sports, always reaching the highest places in all disciplines.
I definitely can't fail to mention how incredibly beautiful Amelia was, from the crown of her head to her toes. She was tall but not too tall to be self-conscious about, she had a knockout body with everything in place and hair and eyes that took my breath away. Her smile was literally perfect, she never had a cavity or any deviation in her teeth and her teeth were as white as milk. She never suffered from acne, not even when she was in her prime or when she got pregnant, her face and skin was always as smooth as a baby's skin.
Foto de Eyasu Etsub en Unsplash
Cuando la conocí me sentí flechado al instante, jamás había sentido algo igual con otra persona pero lo crean o no ella fue quien me habló primero. Solo se sentó a mi lado en clases y comenzó a sacarme conversación mientras yo de manera tímida le contestaba, porque ella siempre fue la carismática y extrovertida de los dos. Me invitó a un café sin vergüenza alguna, porque ella era de esas chicas a las que no les daba vergüenza invitar a un chico a salir. No recuerdo nunca una pelea entre nosotros, una discusión o algo que nos hiciera sentir incómodos. Al contrario, la chispa y el romance siempre estuvo encendida entre nosotros.
Aún recuerdo nuestra primera vez, ella era virgen. Su cuerpo me hipnotizó con solo verlo y tocarlo, no fue incómodo, fue muy placentero. Se sintió como si lo hubiésemos hecho por años pero con la chispa y el deseo intenso de la primera vez. Debo decir que durante todos estos años, hacerle el amor siempre se sentía como la primera vez y cada vez que lo hacíamos sentía que me enamoraba más de ella.
When I met her I was instantly smitten, I had never felt anything like this with anyone else but believe it or not she was the one who spoke to me first. She just sat next to me in class and started making conversation while I shyly answered her, because she was always the charismatic and outgoing one of the two of us. She asked me out for coffee without any shame, because she was one of those girls who wasn't ashamed to ask a guy out. I never remember a fight between us, an argument or anything that made us feel uncomfortable. On the contrary, the spark and romance was always burning between us.
I still remember our first time, she was a virgin. Her body hypnotized me just by looking at it and touching it, it wasn't uncomfortable, it was very pleasurable. It felt like we had been doing it for years but with the spark and intense desire of the first time. I must say that during all these years, making love to her always felt like the first time and every time we did it I felt I fell more in love with her.
Fuente | Source
Le pedí matrimonio en un viaje a Tailandia, a la luz de la luna en una exótica playa. Cuando nos casamos nunca pensé que tendríamos hijos, siempre pensé que no podría con tantas carreras y la maternidad. Por eso me sorprendió cuando me dijo que quería intentar concebir. Un mes después llegó a mi con una prueba de embarazo que marcaba: Positivo. Tendríamos a nuestros hermosos gemelos, una niña y un niño. Estando embarazada siempre fue una estrella de rock, glamurosa y con energía. No tuvo estrías, marcas o siquiera dolores de parto.
Fue siempre una madre perfecta, no necesitó de ayuda de una niñera para cuidar a nuestros hijos y aún así jamás descuidó su carrera ni nuestra relación. Era una persona de hábitos, todo lo que se proponía lo cumplía y ni siquiera tenía que esforzarse, el mundo y las oportunidades parecían caer a sus pies.
Por eso me partió el corazón el día en que decidió terminar con su vida porque ya había vivido una vida perfecta. Simplemente se bañó, se peinó y maquilló como siempre solía hacerlo para nuestras citas, se puso ese vestido rojo de impacto y salió al balcón con una rosa del color de sus labios. No lo pensó demasiado, simplemente saltó y cayó encima de una limusina, luciendo tan angelical como cuando dormía. No hubo sangre, no hubo huesos rotos, solo una rosa roja en su pecho que hacía juego con su vestido y sus labios. Simplemente se quedó dormida con la imagen más perfecta que pueden imaginar, y de esa manera destacó con su morir.
Para Amelia: hija perfecta, estudiante perfecta, mujer perfecta, esposa perfecta, madre perfecta…
Suicida perfecta.
I proposed to her on a trip to Thailand, by moonlight on an exotic beach. When we got married I never thought we would have children, I always thought I couldn't cope with so many careers and motherhood. So I was surprised when she told me she wanted to try to conceive. A month later she came to me with a pregnancy test that read: Positive. We would have our beautiful twins, a girl and a boy. While pregnant she was always a rock star, glamorous and energetic. She had no stretch marks, marks or even labor pains.
She was always a perfect mother, she didn't need the help of a nanny to take care of our children and yet she never neglected her career or our relationship. She was a person of habit, whatever she set her mind to, she accomplished and she didn't even have to try hard, the world and opportunities seemed to fall at her feet.
That's why it broke my heart the day she decided to end her life because she had already lived a perfect life. She simply took a bath, did her hair and makeup like she always used to do for our dates, put on that red impact dress and walked out onto the balcony with a rose the color of her lips. She didn't think too much about it, she just jumped and fell on top of a limousine, looking as angelic as when she slept. There was no blood, no broken bones, just a red rose on her chest that matched her dress and lips. She simply fell asleep with the most perfect image you can imagine, and in that way she stood out with her dying.
For Amelia: perfect daughter, perfect student, perfect woman, perfect wife, perfect mother...
Perfect suicide.
Foto de Payton Tuttle en Unsplash
Hello @orianabeam, and welcome (it seems this may be your first post in the Inkwell).
Your story is well constructed. You create an impossibly perfect character. This character has no flaws--except for the fact that she does not appreciate the gift of life. The story presents a challenge for Inkwell curators because the community does not welcome violence, and surely suicide is an act of violence against self. And yet, we allow for flexibility in curating. This is not graphic violence and it is not gratuitous violence. So this time, it gets a pass. Please be careful in the future about posting stories that feature violence.
We welcome more stories from you. Your perspective is original and interesting. Your mastery of the form is evident. Thank you for sharing this narrative with us. We hope you will read the stories of other authors in the community. We expect that support from our writers, because feedback is crucial to the growth of writing skills.
Again, welcome and, really original story concept.
Thank you so much! I'll be careful.