Independent Woman In The Mud
Today is one of those days when I wonder who coined the phrase "strong black woman." Why? Why, exactly?!
Deep down in my heart, I want to be babied silly. I want to be pampered from the crown of my head to the sole of my feet. But I remember that I am a strong black woman, and I must never succumb to that thinking.
Today I question the very rationale or school of thought that led to my moving out of my parents' house in 2019. Boy, what was I thinking?!
Deep down, I'd like to take a break from all these independent antics and just have someone look after me for a month or two.My parents, a friend, anyone.
I long for the type of pampering that "somebody's son" can provide. But then I remember that someone's son is human, and who's to say he doesn't deserve to be pampered as well?
It's the fourth time today that I've had to send money from my personal bank account, and every time, I take a deep breath. The more the debits, the deeper my breathing. Lol! Adulting is more difficult than I anticipated.
[GIF from Tenor on PeakD]
Please don't misunderstand me. I've been doing this independent thingy for so long that my parents have now called me out on it. In the words of my dad;
What is wrong with you?
Why are you so independent?
Why have you chosen to live as though you do not have a family to rely on in this country?
My dad used to advise me to calm down and take things slowly, but I never listened. I wanted to prove to him that I could handle things on my own.
Most importantly, I wanted to prove to my mother that having only one child was not such a horrendous thing after all. I wanted her to realize that I was capable of doing as much for her as four children could. But the fact is that I'm stressed. I've run out of steam, and I just want to chill.
The crazy thing is is that I have too much pride to tell my parents or open up to my friends about how drained I truly am. So, I'd rather write about it. I do not want to tell my father that he was right all along, and I'm too proud to acknowledge that I need a shoulder to lean on for a while.
I have refused to admit that doing everything by myself is becoming increasingly challenging. So I'll simply keep pushing until I either get it perfect or can no longer accomplish anything on my own. Only then will I seek help.
PS: I'm fine I promise it's just one of those days my hormones act up.
Will I be taking a break?
Yes, I'm typing from the top of my bed, and this is how I choose to unwind.
Will I return home to tell my father that he was right all along?
Certainly not. Coconut-headed girls, do not accept defeat.
We'd rather brave the storm and emerge unscathed than acknowledge we couldn't carry on.
If it becomes too difficult?
I'll just listen to music and embrace my pillows like I've been doing lately.
If someone offers to pamper me?
Lol. I'd gladly take the opportunity while maintaining that I can handle everything on my own.
Lastly, independence has never come cheap.
Will I take a break?
Yes ,I'm currently typing from the top of my bed and this is how I choose to take a break.
Will I go home to say to my dad but he was right all along?
Definitely not. Coconut headed girls like me you do not accept defeat.We’d rather weather the storm and come out scathed than admit that we could no longer go on.
If it gets too hard?
I'll just listen to music and hug my pillows as I have been doing in the past few days.
If somebody sn offers to pamper me?🙃😉
Lol. I’d wholeheartedly accept the offer while also insisting that I can do everything on my own.
Lastly, independence has never been cheap.
[GIF from Tenor on PeakD]
Thank you for reading!
The pressure is getting wessur 🤣😭😭😂💔
Yessss!🤣🤣
😂😂😂 I'm feeling it too😭
My dear, we all are.
I'm not exactly independent in terms of financial support as I am still living in my parent's house but wow, you manage to do that! I still can relate somehow because being the eldest sibling includes leading the house when both parents are at work every day. And I've buried myself deep in the thinking that I am that reliable elder to my brother that he needs to take strength from. So I understand the stress and the difficulty to admit that we sometimes need other's help too.
There are three stages in life. Dependence. Independence. Interdependence. The last one might seem at first glance like you're going backwards but in actuality, it's appreciating that although you can do everything alone, you don't have to. There's power in togetherness. 💛
Oh, and I stopped by via Dreemport. !Luv
@juliamulcahy(2/3) gave you LUV.
tools | wallet | discord | community | <>< daily
HiveBuzz.me NFT for Peace
I guess this is the Interdependence phase for me then. Thank you so much for stopping by.
I resonate with this and shares the same struggle. I am also now have to be somewhat responsible for especially my mom and my dad. Although I told them early on that they'd still have to work because being the only child, it's quite burdensome to also carry their financial problems. I tried helping them through setting up business for them etc just so they could back away from me a bit. It would be nice to have someone pampering me and buying me what I like😂 although by now, I am surprised when a guy just buy me a beer, like " wow, you did?" and part of me was like, " that's the nicest thing ever a guy did to me. I want more of that" 😂
This cannot be easy on you. Sending you a million virtual hugs.
I know righttttttttttttt😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It is not wrong to allow ourselves to be taken care of. I learnt that I really should not carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have learnt to acknowledge that I don't have to do everything... But I believe that you, my dear @omosefe, are doing well. You are blessed.
#dreemport
I guess I'd have to reach out to my folks to express myself then. Thank you so much for engaging.
I think independence is one thing, but not being able to recognise when you need help and ask for it is another. they are not mutually exclusive. We all need a shoulder to cry on from time to time, a heart to listen to us, and another head to help knock some sense into us !LOLZ... It seems you have managed to tick the first box of acknowledgment and I am here to tell you there is no shame in saying ...hey Mom, dad... can I come home for a bit and get some TLC...cos that's what parents and family are ... support structures that provide love for each other. Just swallow your pride, Girl! haha and go get some TLC from mama and papa. Re-energise and then crack on with life I came here this evening from Dreemport !LUV !ALIVE !PIZZA
@omosefe! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @samsmith1971. (9/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
Lol, thank you. I'll do my best to swallow my pride. Thank you again for your kind comment.
@omosefe, sorry! You need more to stake more $PIZZA to use this command.
The minimum requirement is 20.0 PIZZA staked.
More $PIZZA is available from Hive-Engine or Tribaldex
@omosefe, sorry! You need more $ALIVE to use this command.
The minimum requirement is 1000.0 ALIVE staked.
More $ALIVE is available from Hive-Engine or Tribaldex
@omosefe, sorry! You need more $LUV to use this command.
The minimum requirement is 10.0 LUV in your liquid wallet.
More LUV is available from Hive-Engine or Tribaldex
💗
PIZZA Holders sent $PIZZA tips in this post's comments:
@samsmith1971(9/10) tipped @omosefe (x1)
You can now send $PIZZA tips in Discord via tip.cc!
Independence has never been cheap and I know that. It ain't easy but with God, it will always be easy for us. Adulthood na something else which is challenging but we can keep moving and let them know we can overcome it.
I popped in through Dreemport 🤗.
Did you know that part of growing up is recognizing that we don't have all the answers and that we're not always right?
That independence is hard does not mean that you were wrong, but simply that it is not as easy as you thought. Humility is a beautiful quality that makes us better people. And just as you need to feel strong, it is also true that your dad needs to know that you heard his words, that you remember them and that he was right and that you understand his concern.
It is a way of recognizing the value of what your father tried to do for you, that will not make you weak but that gesture will bring you closer to your father and I know that he will feel happy that you recognize that he tried to take care of you.
From what you say I don't know if your mother didn't take motherhood so well, so I can't say much about it. I don't like to make mistakes and I don't like to apologize, but when I feel that I have made a mistake or that someone requires an apology from me, I do it when before and many times the other people neither expected it nor thought they needed it, but the gesture It made them value me more as a person 😅😘.
You won't lose that much by trying, do you think? You'll still be a strong black woman 😉💪
It takes the right person to change your situation. My wife is an incredibly strong and independent woman and before we met didn’t rely on or depend on anyone. Now we are a team and things are tough for sure sometimes but it’s far better to have a team than it is to go it all alone. Hoping you find a soulmate like that so you can share the burden of this shit called adulthood!
At the same time though, the best lessons in life that we learn are the hard ones and the ones we have to work the most at. The things that come easy are often the ones that hurt us the most in the long run. If we can maintain a solid determination then we can fend off even the worst of times through hard work and a bit of luck.