FAKE LIFE: A Societal norm

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This 'fake it till you make it' mantra has got to be the most misleading notion I've ever heard because a lot of times, people overdo it to prove to themselves and the world that they have made it. It is so easy for people to conveniently forget that once you tell a lie, you’ll have to continue making up stories.

I mean, why pretend to be what you are not just because society seems to have set somewhat impossible standards? No, let me rephrase, why pretend to be what you are not because you want to appear more desirable or valuable?

I have seen people subject themselves to so much physical, emotional, and mental stress, just to conform to social media projections.

There are different angles to what fake life means to different people, but this article is targeted at fake life in the form of projecting what you are not. I hope that I can throw more light on the subject matter.

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Back in Uni, I used to have this neighbour, Pauline (real name withheld). To outsiders, she was the queen of the big girls’ clique. She only rolled with the crème de la crème on campus, wore the most recent designs, and looked like she had it all figured out.

To us neighbors, we knew it was all crap because Pauline had a vendor who would always lend her clothes to wear for a fee, let’s call it rent. Pauline didn’t have so much but she would spend the little her parents could afford to give her renting clothes.

There were days when to make a meal, she would go from door to door asking for one item or the other until she had everything she needed to make the meal. She would literally borrow everything and anything borrowable. Some would argue that it was because she couldn’t afford some basic necessities, but to me, it was simply because she didn’t set her priorities right.

Several times, she would owe utility bills for months, yet, the renting and borrowing never stopped. I don’t know if Pauline succumbed to peer pressure, or if she was too much of a people pleaser who was discontent. All I know is, as time went on, it became increasingly difficult to actually feel pity for her because she wouldn’t change no matter what.

One day, I sat her down to have a talk about her lifestyle, but she got really mad at me, so I apologized and never spoke of it again. I do not know where she is now, I can only hope she has outgrown that phase.

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More often than not, people post pictures and videos on the internet to portray themselves in the most positive light. They look happy and fulfilled. They want people to see that they have a thriving business/career, a love-crazed relationship, beautiful children, the perfect spouse, the most beautiful houses, and all of that.

However, you forget that social media isn’t real life. You forget that pictures lie and these could be false impressions.

You see their glam posts and you start to think less of yourself. So, you start to think up ways to live up to these ideologies head just to feel among or impress the gram.

Even if you take nothing out of this article today, I want you to remember that in this age of advanced technology, social media life is nothing but a well-built and intricately constructed facade.

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The rich and luxurious lifestyle, the perfect banging bodies, the cars, the mansion, the pink lips, the clothes, and whatever else are just things most people do to make it look like they are way ahead and you can’t compete with them.

I know you want to be seen in the best light, but living a fake life or one to solely please and appeal to people is not exactly the best. Do not get me wrong, there are people who really have all the best in life.

Recently, a Nigerian celebrity took to Instagram to expose how her colleagues would rent a lot of money from ‘Bureau de change’ with up to #300,000 being the rental fee, just to flaunt on social media and give the impression that they live in wealth and affluence. In reality, they struggle to survive like an average Nigerian.

Personally, there's this lady's Instagram page I no longer scroll through because every time I did, I was always green with envy. I'd always felt like I was inadequate.

She has the perfect skin, the best clothes, the best body, etc. The day I decided to stop scrolling through her page was the very day I had spent literally 90% of my monthly paycheck on clothes and shoes because I was desperate to live up to the Slay queen standards.

I am of the opinion that a lot of fake people are mostly people pleasers or people who are just not strong enough to shun all forms of peer pressure. Could also be from people who have never been content with what they have, always seeking more regardless of the price they have to pay.

Honestly, I can't say for sure if living a fake life is wrong all the time because there are cases where people see the need to fake things especially when it's work-related. You know that "dress how you want to be addressed" talk yeah?

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Being real comes with no pressure, no mental stress, you need not worry about what next lie you have to tell to keep up with your fake identity.

All I can say is living as real as you are is a darn good thing. Work as hard as you can, trust the process, and your desires will be met.

What would you say are the major reasons people live fake lives?

PS: Thanks for reading! 🙂