THE PHENOMENON CALLED SEE-FINISH

I love to share bits and pieces of my life. It is cathartic and it gives me the opportunity to review my thoughts. Also, being able to be vulnerable with other people, especially those you care about, can be a wonderful feeling.

However, being open about your life (your flaws and challenges) creates an avenue for the phenomenon called SEE-FINISH. This is basically the disrespect that comes from being transparent with people.

For instance, Mr A is suicidal. He shares some of his dark thoughts and seeks help from a small community of friends, who are willing to help. However, Mr A's suicidal tenancies are constantly used to discredit him despite his attempt to change his life or move past his suicidal thoughts.

If Mr A had sought help from strangers, probably he would have a better standing with his friends. They might not be intentionally trying to discredit him, but human relationships are quite complex and there is no perfect human being.

These days, I have been trying to internalise my struggles. I do not feel safe sharing with people anymore, even those closest to me. It is quite a conflicting feeling but I know it is for the best.

There is honour dying in silence. As dark as this might sound I deem it to be true. I often hear people speak about seeking help but that in itself can be a dangerous thing because when you are in your most vulnerable state and the SEE-FINISH phenomenon kicks in, it can be devastating.

There is nothing wrong with having a good network of friends and family that are supportive. However, see-finish comes into the picture when you are the one always asking for help. You lose your respect in the process and evidently people stop helping or do so grudgingly.

See-finish the product of bad planning and decision making. No one but you is responsible for the disrespect or lack of trust you get from people. So you are the only one in the position to change that narrative.

In a nutshell, I believe the less people, even those who care about you, know about you the better. Also, never be in a position where you need people. If people are going to help let them do so on their own volition. Learn how to be self-sufficient and live as privately as possible.