IN THE PASSING TIME...

Today I went back home to be with my family, and it seems like every time I return home something feels different or I have an epiphany of some sort. One of such realizations is that I am getting old.

It is quite ironic that I feel old because most people around think I am younger than I am. Fortunately, I am one of those people who never really age (physically). I very much look like I did 5 years ago. Nevertheless, I do have mixed feelings about looking forever young. It does come with its pros and cons.

Most people around me still see me as a yute. It is strange in a way considering that I am in my late twenties. For instance, I am currently squatting with my cousin. I am in a better financial position than she is but she still takes care of me in the way she would have many years ago. I am not as vocal as I am on my blog (I am quite an introvert) so I guess many people around me don't have enough data to work with to figure out who I am.

I also feel young (most times). At this point, only my moustache gives me away (and the stress of being an adult). If I shave that off, I am a youth again. The only active reminder that I am getting old is my siblings.

Like I said early, I visited home recently to be with my family. My younger sister just turned 18. The age gap between us is about a decade. My youngest turns 15 in a couple of days. They all look grown. In their juvenile exuberance and smile my youthfulness fades away. It is a beautiful thing.

I feel a huge sense of pride seeing how much my siblings have grown and the active role I have played in their lives as a father figure. My youngest sister never got to see my dad. I practically raised her with my mum. Seeing her grow up into a fine young woman gives me great joy. I know wherever my father is currently he will be filled with joy

THE PRESSURE OF TIME.

There is a lot of pressure getting older, especially in this part of the world, both from the society and ourselves. I do not see this in a bad light. Our sense of urgency gives us purpose and reason to live. Waking up every day and knowing that your time on this planet is limited gives you the necessary push to get things done. However, it can be a source of anxiety.

We live in a world where most young people think they should have their life sorted out before 30. I used to think that way myself, however, as I get older I become more flexible with my expectations. Whenever the cares of the world sets in I try to remind myself that I have all it takes to be happy, I just need to focus on the right times.

In a nutshell, getting old isn’t something that gives me anxiety. Just like most things in life I embrace it for what it is–even the things I cannot explain. I have lived a life I am grateful and proud of because I considered myself blessed. I believe i will make the best of the time I have left here.

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