Daring To Be Different - My Choice
Welcome Back!
Hello beautiful people! Welcome back to my space. I am always excited to see you here visiting my blog and I would love you to know that I appreciate your engagement on my posts. Thank you so much.
To Fit In Or To Be Different?
It is very interesting that sometimes, things happen that make people have a general opinion about certain things, certain genders, certain professions, tribes etc.
Taking a closer look, the reason may just be because of some painful experiences they have had with the entity or entities in question. But apart from that, it may also be that they didn't have any direct experience, rather they heard about it and believed it.
Of course, it is possible that some general or public opinion may really have an element of truth embedded inside it no matter how small.
Just For Instance
In my country Nigeria, men from a certain part of the country are generally believed by others to be so money-minded that they can do anything for money. And then, ladies from a particular part of the country are said to only be in relationships just because of money. Again, some believe that men or women from certain communities are never faithful in marriage. Etc, etc.
These things have been spread so much that anyone from these areas are always eyed with suspicion.
My Choice To Be Different
I personally made a decision to not judge any individual because of general opinions about his or her tribe. I made the choice to relate with people on individual basis knowing that everyone cannot be the same. This kind of open-mindedness has worked to my advantage, in the sense that I have been able to make and retain friends and clients from different tribes who respect me for being accomodating.
I also made the choice to not fit into any box used to describe my gender, especially when it comes to finances. Some people believe that it is the woman's lot to just depend on their spouse for everything, but I never wanted a life where I will depend on a man for all my needs no matter how much love is between us. And especially, considering our African families that see their brother's money as their own, I don't want anyone to have the chance of telling me I am spending their brother's money. (Brothers, sorry ooo😂).
I also made a choice to be different from the general view of women as gossips. I find it difficult to listen to or add to any discussion about someone behind their backs. Those that know me know that I don't have time for such nonsense.
What Makes My Spouse Different
I know some people find it hard to believe in praying about their future partner. Yet, I can tell you for free that my husband is an answer to my prayer.
I grew up knowing men who abused their wives verbally and physically. I didn't want that to be my story, so I prayed for someone who would be different, someone who will share my values and principles and... wah lah!
My husband is gentle, kind, loving. He loves God, and I believe that makes it easier to love me and the kids. He keeps no secrets from me (yes, please... so don't roll your eyes 😂).
Helping My Children To Be Different
I made up my mind to teach my children by example. From the first child who will turn 20 in September to the youngest who clocked 12 years old last May, I know I have tried and am still trying to lead them by practicing what I preach. About cleanliness, faith in God, prayers, gratitude, truthfulness, friendships, money etc.
A few years ago when we relocated from the North, I found myself in an environment filled with so much rottenness. It was a complete opposite of where we were coming from. You could see the moral decay all around. I knew I had a big responsibility to guide and teach my children to make right choices.
I needed wisdom, and I prayed for wisdom. I still pray for wisdom because my work is not yet done. Very soon the children will all leave home, but I just can't stop asking the God that gave me the children to give me wisdom to train them.
I have tried to make them understand that they must believe in themselves, be confident and authentic. I know how strong peer pressure can be, but I let them know how important it is that they make the right choices today for the sake of tomorrow (and of course explaining to them what a right choice will look like in certain situations).
This part of guiding my children and encouraging them to be different has been a combined effort of my hubby and I.
In Conclusion
Being Different is a choice. Blending and fitting in is also a choice.
I have made my choice to be different and unique. It is my authenticity that makes me who I am, even though many don't like me for being myself. But then it doesn't matter as long as I know I have made the right choice to be me.
Thank you for reading. I have written this post as my entry for Thinker's Corner Challenge July Edition organised by @kenechukwu97.
The images used in this post are mine.
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Thank you so much, Buzzy.
Keep up the fantastic work @ngwinndave! Your dedication and hard work will pay off when you reach your target.
Wowww,this is deep NG dear. Being yourself is a great choice..it doesn't matter what people say about you as long as you made the right choice for yourself. I love the way you pray about things you want in your life
The guide to your kids are worthy of emulation
I keep telling myself that I haven't started this parenting journey until my kids start turning into adulthood..God help nkem
You are doing well sis 🥰
#Dreemerforlife
My dear Sister, parenting is a very great responsibility which is far more than providing for the needs of our children. We just keep trusting God to help so we can guide the children He has given us aright. We must start early so that we don't regret later. The enemy is out to catch them young, and we are the ones to take responsibility and say "no!" God help us all, no one has arrived ooo.
Using generalisations and stereotypical thinking as a shield against the world almost always ends badly. Not for others, for us. We lose touch with reality because prejudices. And prejudices are usually lies told and repeated many times.
I am glad that you have an open mind and heart and that you have found your soul mate who shares your values. That is very fortunate and I congratulate you on that:)
Beautifully written post, reading your article was a real pleasure:)
👆 🎯 Spot on! Yet, this is the reality we are faced with every day.
Thank you so much for your kind words, dear friend. Let's keep choosing to do what is right even if it means we end up as lone rangers 😊.
I appreciate you for visiting ❤.
You made the point, I just highlighted it:) Really good job on that!
Have a lovely week!
You made a very important observation about how the North is looking like a better place to raise kids while places like Anambra is becoming rotten to the core. That is very true. It is also my observation and I've seen a lot of young people go astray in such places because their parents did not pay enough attention to them.
I'm impressed about the lifestyle you chose to live by and it's good you are Blessed with a man that genuinely cares about doing his best for his family. That's awesome.
"The future generation" is a term that can never be overused about kids and that's why I appreciate the guidance you and your hubby are taking to give the kids good training. Well Done oooo.
Thanks for joining us
Apart from the issue of religious violence and insecurity, the North is kind of very conservative.
I grew up in Anambra State before going to school in the North, and honestly the difference is clear. But moving to the west in 2012, I was shocked to find myself in a place where immoral behaviour has become a very common thing, with young people dropping out of school because of teenage pregnancy. It is so sad.
Marriage is better when the two are one in values, standards and principles, and have the same purpose. I married at an age that some people will consider late, but I am happy that God gave me someone that truly cares and shares my values.
Raising children requires wisdom especially now that the children themselves are wise from the womb, if you know what I mean, hehe. We can only succeed by partnering with the One who gave us the children and has their blueprints.
Our labour shall not be in vain 🙏.
Generalisation and painful parts experienced by people are truly one of those things that make these statements like that.
I do enjoy reading your post. How you train yourself and your children. That's a nice way to go.