How to handle criticism

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Being criticised for a work you believe to have put your best into, could be quite distressing.

The unfortunate thing is, there is really no hack you could learn, which would shield you being criticized.

You could put your best into a project, and still end up being bashed for a poor performance.

No one is really immune to criticism. The best of us can still be criticised.

Tell me one person who was so good to a point of being exempted from unfair judgement by people.

Believe me, anyone who has ever embarked on a project of any kind, has been criticized.

People are wired to see faults.

Inasmuch as it is pertinent that we get better at what we do in order to be appreciated, our safety, however, lies more in our ability to handle criticism.

To avoid being unhappy often, we must devise means of managing criticism.

A lady approached me some days ago, complaining of how she was bashed by her boss, despite working her butt off.

I was able to give her tips on how to manage criticism. And I will love to share them here.

• Normalize criticism

When people utter words that make us sad, it is mostly due to the fact that we weren't expecting such from them. Those words usually meet us by surprise.

If you work with the mindset that: despite the excellence you exude, there's still the possibility of being criticised, you'll seldom be hurt when criticized. That's because you expected it.

Get used to the fact that you can do your best but still meet disapproval.

• Interpret every word spoken to you to your advantage.

Someone once told me that I rather look feminine. It was certainly not a compliment. In fact it had an undertone of derision. Being that I loved this person, I wanted her to feel my masculinity. But just look at what I got.

Well, I owned up to being a proud beautiful man. How about that?

Take a look at this:

If you were to be insulted in a language you have no knowledge of, the truth is, you wouldn't be perturbed since you don't understand what was said. But if the same word is interpreted to you, chances are you'll be exasperated.

What really is the cause of your anger? The insult or your understanding?

Your understanding of course.

Since our understanding is the case here, we could choose to change how we interpret and understand negative remarks.

Someone can speak negative words to me, while I choose to interpret those words positively to myself.

It is my interpretation that matters.

• Practice positive self talk.

Never allow people to speak into your life, when you're yet to do so. Be the first person to speak to yourself. Don't just speak, believe it.

I do tell myself that I'm wise, intelligent, handsome etc.

The truth is, I believe those words. If someone sees me otherwise, it wouldn't really matter to me. If anything, I'd believe that the person is making a big mistake.

That someone can't see your worth, doesn't mean that you're worthless, it might mean that the person is blind

• Learn from criticism

When you're criticized, either fairly or unfairly, learn from it. Look out for ways you could improve yourself. If you keep improving, despite the unfair judgement, you'd be all the better for it.

• Encourage yourself

Why were you criticized? Because you attempted doing something. Right?

The truth is: it takes bravery to try anything out.

It's only cowards that hide in their shell to avoid being bashed, if they get it wrong.

For even attempting, your case isn't that hopeless. You'd do better in subsequent times.

Tell yourself that.

• Grow thick skin

If you put all the points listed here into practice, the truth is, you'll certainly develop a thick skin.

This list isn't exhaustive but I have to stop somewhere. I can't possibly be writing forever. Can I?

Conclusively, I want to say that we can't completely control people's actions toward us, but we can control how we react to whatever is thrown at us.

Don't forget: no one can make you sad without your permission.