Beauty and attraction

Photo by Rafael Barros of pexel

Growing up, you probably weren't one of the kids with a flashy kind of beauty—your looks weren't grabbing much attention. What I mean is that it's possible that you weren't easily flamboyant.

The truth is, some people are innocently ostentatious. Their beauty shines effortlessly. Right from childhood, they have a look that screams, "Notice me."

Conversely, there are others who, even though beautiful in their own fashion, aren't easily noticeable. You've got to be close to them to see the gems they actually are.

Some are late bloomers. Like flowering plants, they need time to blossom into eye-catchy creatures.

Unfortunately, without proper tutelage, kids who weren't often applauded for their looks while growing up do grow up feeling ugly and insecure. And of course, the bullies would often take advantage of their insecurities to wreak havoc on their already depleted self-esteem.

This vileness by the bullies will, in turn, take a toll on the victim's self-confidence. And the level of one's confidence has an effect on one's overall performance in life. A low level of confidence has long been associated with low performance.

Almost in all fields of life, if you lack the confidence for it, you'll likely not succeed at it. A good number of us are stuck where we are because we lack the confidence to take some bulls by their horns.

For some reasons, women are mostly victims of this appearance-based discrimination. Interestingly, there are a handful of ladies in history who were victims of insecurities because, at a time, their looks didn't align with society's standard of beauty.

On top of my list is Mitchell Obama. The former First Lady, in her memoir "Becoming," was brave enough to be truthful about her insecurities growing up. She revealed feeling like an outsider due to her height, which is unconventional for societal beauty standards.

Another lady worthy of mention is the Oscar-winning actress Kate Winslet. The actress narrated her experiences with feeling insecure about her appearance during adolescence. Despite her later recognition as a beauty icon, Winslet has, several times, spoken about facing criticism and being bullied for her looks.

I wouldn't fail to also mention actress Meryl Streep, who has, on several occasions, openly discussed feeling insecure about her looks during her youth. Despite becoming one of Hollywood's most acclaimed actresses, Streep has mentioned struggling with self-esteem and not feeling conventionally attractive in her early years.

The stories of these ladies go to show that nothing is wrong with you. The popular saying "you are beautiful just the way you are" is nothing short of the truth. And it's obvious that you're capable of reaching great heights irrespective of the backlash you received or are still receiving because of your looks.

You need no reminder to always bear in mind that looks are mostly genetic. There's therefore no iota of wisdom in losing sleep over what isn't any fault of yours. What you should rather work on are qualities within your control. And there are qualities that will increase your level of attractiveness, despite the physical features you possess.

Inasmuch as there are physical features that make people attractive, it's evident that attractiveness goes beyond looks.

Qualities such as smartness, intelligence, neatness, a nice smell, elegant and gracious carriage, and most importantly, self-confidence, make people attractive far beyond looks. And the most interesting part is that they can be worked on.

So, instead of killing yourself over your looks, work on these qualities, and people won't help but admire the magnificent being that you are. Of course, there are those who will still criticise you, but they'll only be doing so out of envy. And envy is most often subtle respect.