My Fatherhood Journey

My Fatherhood Journey

I have so many ideas on how I want to write this post but I keep getting stuck on how to start or where to go from so I will focus more on writing from the heart than trying to put together an article that focuses on certain things.

Parenthood for many can be quite the daunting experience but I remember for me it is something I had been wanting for a long time. Despite being with my partner from a young age we put off having kids due to the fact we needed to prepare ourselves financially and create a stable living scenario.

Both of us attended the same school in a relatively poor working class neighborhood and decided on trying to get ourselves 100% before bringing life into the world in order to ensure our children have the best possible start to life.

Fast Forward many years later and we gave birth to our first child a health baby girl in a home we both owned or more so the bank owned and we were paying back :)

The Challenges

It wasn't easy and I don't think anyone's first pregnancy ever is and the world around us isn't all the supportive either. It is still very much set in a system where men must go to work and women stay home, this unfortunately clashes with today's world where both parents need to work to make ends meet and both need to work to raising children.

I still remember a passed employer who was shocked when I asked to take a day off to attend the first ultrasound, or when they were shocked I needed to take carers leave stating "Isn't that your wifes role?" and comments of "What's your wife doing?"

Don't waste time, just get a new job

I used to get worried about losing my job but in time now I have come to learn that some jobs are worth losing and that there is always a fear of joining a new team or getting new work. But these fears are common and there is always a period of establishing yourself while you try to find the footing in a team.

Workplaces will often find the best suited person for their roles which also includes cultural fit and if you don't fit into a workplace culture than it probably isn't for you.

I have since been a member of a team for many years now which meets my needs and as a result I work more and have a higher productivity rate as I care about my team and the work we do. They support me when I need support and I am more than happy to support others.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

So straight up honesty, I rekon having kids made me lose my hair. I went from having hair to it completely almost falling out in the shortest span of time ever. Most my single friends still have a head full of hair, I have come to notice most the parents in my group... We'll they're a little short on hair.

Sleepless nights, nappy changes, temper tantrums all that bad stuff but while hard at the start after a while you become accustomed to it and just switch off.

TOYS! oh I hate how everyone keeps buying toys and my house has more plastic in it than a recycling facility and everywhere I step there are toys, so many toys. That is my biggest pet hate. Worst part is that the kids don't even use them all that often they just sit there!

Two is easier than one

This one is probably the more truthful thing, I thought adding another child to the mix would be quite hard and challenging given the amount of work 1 takes. But the second is way way easier, by this stage you have the keeping them alive and fed part down pat.

You also get a bit of a break because like right now, neither of them want to spend time with me and they're chilling on the couch watching T.V and if I would in they break my heart by telling me to go away! until they are hungry or want something.

So how is My Fatherhood Journey?

As someone who didn't have a dad growing up I didn't know how to be one and while the first year or two was hard, when my oldest hears about me not having a dad she will often say how sad that is and dad's are awesome!

So I guess despite all my flaws I am doing something right.