[Esp-Eng] Aprendiendo a ceder ante el "Yo lo hago" // Learning to give in to "I do it"

Every day motherhood becomes more uphill, you face new challenges and new circumstances because each child begins to show their personality more naturally. Likes, complaints, questions, answers, blank eyes, furrowed eyebrows, screams, cravings, and all that avalanche that comes with the growth and independence of each child is, naturally, a stage that will pass, but how tired each day . "I do it" is the fashionable phrase in Marcela's vocabulary, and as a good little sister... Miranda repeats it for everything.

And this happens very often, I get up to prepare breakfast and the sentence arrives. The competition between the sisters begins for who helps me more or better, the "mommy looks at Marcela, mommy looks at Miranda" begins. Today by the way I got up with the intention of preparing some sandwiches for everyone but I didn't even want to say a word because I felt exhausted from this situation so I told myself OK! And it is that I feel that it is difficult for me to delegate or allow them to help me with something in the house such as cooking or cleaning, I always tell them that another day is better, and when I say yes and the disaster or the fights begin, then I stop and I get frustrated. .

I told them prepare your sandwiches as you want, here you have everything you can put but leave me and dad, and I sat down in front of them to wait what they would do. They began to put their sauce, tomatoes, onions, lettuce, cheese and mortadella, all like experts and even helped each other. My husband looked at me like: aren't you going to tell them anything? Are you going to let them do all that alone? But it is that I understand that they are capable of doing many things, only that I like to do things alone and this is for me one more advance in addition to allowing them to choose their clothes, their shoes, how to do their hair, or how to do some things that they like. I ask.

Miranda asked me if we had cucumber, I said yes daughter, and she asked me to put it in her sandwich. A sandwich with cucumber. I wouldn't have thought of her but with a smile I cut a little bit and she put it on her bread. It's not about giving in to their whims or all their wishes, it's not that they dominate me, it's that mom also needs to learn to give them time, space, responsibilities, and that they can take care of some things, to the right extent. Mom also has to learn that it is good to experiment and explore these daily and routine activities, that changes, different days, tests and trials are valid, because children need to feel that mom "allows" them and gives them the opportunity to do something that they couldn't do before or had never done before.

It took me a while not to interfere in the preparation of this one of a kind breakfast, they made their sandwiches and ate breakfast without any discussion. I prepared breakfast for my husband and mine and when I asked: what should we do now? They both said I DO IT! 😱 So they put things away, dusted, picked up and cleaned the kitchen floor only leaving what I had to scrub. It leaves me with a pleasant feeling because each one in their own way begins to be interested in helping me, doing things for themselves and helping me to let go of so many things that we mothers are holding onto. This is one of the many things in which I am giving in at this stage, sometimes I doubt, sometimes I don't want to, sometimes I feel that I can do more and give her options because her independence is necessary and that I learn to let go.

Giving in also helps them with their security, confidence and self-esteem, but it is complicated in practice because it involves some disasters, some will surely break, dirty, damage, and they will also cry a little but it is worth the effort and patience so that your treasure always feels happy. I thank all those who walk through my lines, I hope someone feels identified. See you soon ❤️