INICIATIVA: ¿Gozo de una buena salud mental? - INITIATIVE: Am I in good mental health?

A warm greeting to the community of @holos-lotus, I thank @rosahidalgo for inviting me to this wonderful initiative that I loved, I had been late to participate because I have been very sick with flu and bad feeling, besides discouraged haha, but now I feel much better.

This initiative touched me in the deepest part of my being, because I have been taking care of my mental health for 7 years out of 34 years of my life, so it seems very little to me, but it is never too late to learn and be better every day. It all started when I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety 7 years ago and from that moment I started to take care of my mental health, I healed thanks to the therapies and medications, once I recovered myself, I no longer needed the medications I started my journey of becoming more responsible for my mental health.

I must begin by telling you that before my episode of depression I was a very sad, lonely and lost person, I dedicated my days to please or look for a way to win my parents' pride, to win their approval, their affection, this brought many negative consequences in my mental health, apart from that, in my childhood I saw things that I should not have seen or lived which also added traumas to my mental health, little by little while I developed I took refuge in music and books, I was not very sociable, I was not a person who expressed my feelings or emotions, I was very withdrawn, I was very complacent, I never defended myself or raised my voice for me, so over the years everything I could have lived and felt I only accumulated inside me, growing a huge snowball that at any moment would collide with something, although I was a very good student, I never felt a capable or brave person, I myself was very much underestimated.

And so it happened, everything that I carried inside for many years exploded in a strong depression that was triggered by a sentimental separation, many thought even myself, that this disease was sadness for the separation, but no, it was the set of past situations that added and added until I could not stand more and I lost myself in my negative thoughts, I lost control of myself, Although introspection at this time, I think I never took the helm of myself, therapies were a satisfactory tool for my life, I began to understand many things about myself and take charge of the damage, I will always be grateful to my psychiatrist, I learned a lot and I was applying it little by little to heal myself and be my best version. I feel that I was born again and that I raised myself hahaha I don't know if I make myself understood hahaha, and in therapy I realized that I never learned to manage my emotions and I was already a 28 year old adult hahaha what a shame, I had learned very harmful patterns from my family circle and I didn't know how to set limits in my life, I had to attack these three points in my life in order to be healthy, so I started to learn to manage my emotions first by identifying them correctly, then I would go through them, either by expressing them, writing them or doing activities that I liked, and then I would let them go and feel more emotionally balanced.

I unlearned many bad patterns and replaced them with healthier patterns or I would not say patterns, I do not want to be robotic, I am open to change, that is, I can apply different techniques in a stressful situation and evaluate which one benefits me better emotionally and if I solve the problems better with that technique, this process takes time, because it was 28 years of patterns embedded in my personality with which I have to stop myself and say: "hey no, this is not how I should act or react, it does not help us at all", I still feel that I have to improve many things in me, but I continue to do it, it causes me a lot of happiness when I feel that I react or I am more effective in many situations in which before I felt an emotional illiterate. And the hardest thing I have done, I started to set limits, this part was quite hard, I must admit, because going from being a complacent and submissive daughter, sister, niece, friend, partner and companion to being someone who raises her voice when she has to, asserting or respecting me caused a lot of tension and discomfort that I had to deal with, because it was a normal part of the process.

In part I began to feel proud of myself, very much so, and by placing limits I began to feel better, more empowered in my health, in my wellbeing, but at the same time, I lost friendships, I moved away from uncles and aunts who only hurt me and the hardest part, it brought many arguments with my parents, people I love with all my heart and I would do anything for them, but I must also love myself and many of their actions did not do me good and when I placed limits on them they felt offended, upset, I understood them, but they also had to understand me so I gave them their space to organize their emotions, without giving in to the limits I imposed for my wellbeing. Little by little they have been getting used to it, although for them, I am the black sheep of the family haha, before it caused me pain, but then I understood that yes, I am the different sheep of the flock, because I broke patterns, I improved my mental health, I learned to manage my emotions, I place limits and I feel very proud of myself for that.

Do I enjoy a good mental health? Personally and with a lot of confidence I think so and compared to the person I was before, uufff, this new person for me is incredible, strong and brave, I know that I must improve many things that I lack, but now I know how to manage my emotions more efficiently, I place limits when I need to, I continue breaking harmful patterns of my childhood, I am a mother and I feel an enormous responsibility so that my daughter does not live what I lived, I want her to learn from a young age to take care of herself, to acquire healthy patterns, to set limits, to raise her voice, to express her feelings and emotions. For me a good mental health does not mean to be always happy, optimistic and smiling, we must understand that we are human beings, we will go through many experiences that will generate emotions whether negative or positive, a good mental health means to be aware of it and use tools or techniques that help us to face the various situations of everyday life, negative thoughts can come, but if we are healthy we will know how to stop and understand why they came and how to be stable again and again, no matter how many times it takes, doing the things that we like, that we are passionate about brings us a lot of stability and that is how my mental health is going so far haha. Thank you so much for making it to the end.

The photos used are my property and I would like to take this opportunity to invite @julisa, @natica83 and @tejimundo