¿Cómo regular las emociones? - How to regulate emotions?

^{Hello dear friends in Hive, a few days ago I saw a video about emotions for adults, identify and regulate them, I was thinking a lot about this, because it is true that many adults do not know or have not reached the wisdom to regulate all emotions, I am one, I know how to regulate many emotions, but not all, and from here part of emotional maturity and then reach emotional intelligence, I personally would like to achieve that wisdom, but it takes work, time and dedication.}

^{Use every circumstance that arises in the day to day that generates some unwanted emotion can be used to practice, of course, sometimes we will be impulsive, we will be carried away by the emotion and we will throw everything we have studied overboard haha, but that is what practice is about: test and rehearse. We are supposed to have learned all this from our first examples who are our parents, but if they also had no knowledge or training on how to regulate their emotions, it will be difficult to acquire this tool.}

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^{So I just have to be responsible as an adult and put myself to practice from now on so that my daughter has a good example or the best possible of how to identify and regulate our emotions, I made a mistake, sometimes I still do because it was what I learned as a child and those patterns are hard to unlearn, is that I shut up my emotions, I swallow them, I hide them and it is when I am alone that I feel comfortable to cry or scream, because I was made to believe that we must always appear strong on the outside and it is better not to show you vulnerable, in my home was synonymous with weakness, error, regulate emotions does not mean hide them or deny them on the contrary, we must accept them as they came embrace them, feel them, for something came and we must understand that came to do.}

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^{When parents start with the simple: "stop crying", sometimes when I am stressed and I have not regulated myself and Luna is crying, for what I think is a "nonsense", for not regulating myself is that I have told her the harmless, but very harmful: "stop crying", too bad, that's where I must be the adult, understand my emotion, if it is irritation for example, sit for a moment close my eyes and understand why I am like this (even if in the background you still hear Luna crying), I am doing several things at once, I have little time left to finish, then I am in a hurry, it's okay to feel irritated, there are many things and I am tired, then what will I do? , Is it worth it to do everything in a hurry, will the world end if I only do one task and little by little the others, it seems that I can stop and rest, but first breathe and now walk and be the example for your daughter.}

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^{The best thing to do would be to approach our children, put ourselves at their level and ask them if they are sad or upset, ask them why they are crying, even if it seems "silly" for them at their age it is something important, we must start from there and tell them that it is okay to be upset, it is fine, cry as much as you need to cry, ask them if they want a hug, because many times they do not want contact, but only to feel upset for a moment and others a hug helps them to go through their emotions and when they go through them the body feels satisfied and can proceed to calm down and then look for a solution to their problem, remind them that asking for help is okay, and if they are crying for something they know they cannot do, validate their emotion of being upset, but do not give in to the limit they have already set, help them to look for another solution, like another activity, if not, accompany them in their crying, always let them know that you understand that they are upset. But if instead we repress the emotion, that annoyance stays there, it can last for days, months and transform into something worse that only hurts themselves.}

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Aquí les muestro La rueda de las emociones, es más para los adultos, porque mientras más hacia afuera llegas identificando tu emoción, más vas aprendiendo sobre ti mismo, comienza con las emociones básicas en el centro, que son más para la infancia. He estado usando esta ruleta desde hace una semana a penas jaja, pero es superútil, te da conciencia y control de ti mismo y lo que te sucede, pero no es solo identificar la emoción.

^{Here I show you The wheel of emotions, it is more for adults, because the more outward you get identifying your emotion, the more you learn about yourself, it starts with the basic emotions in the center, which are more for childhood. I've been using this wheel for about a week now haha, but it's super useful, it gives you awareness and control of yourself and what happens to you, but it's not just identifying the emotion.}

Una vez identificado la emoción, debes hallar porque te sientes así, que lo causo, se recomienda muchas veces escribir lo que sientes, y la acción que te llevo a sentirte así, tendrás una mejor perspectiva de ti mismo, siempre válida tu emoción, porque si la estás sintiendo tiene algún motivo y justificación: está bien sentirme así, no soy irracional, soy un ser humano. Tomate un tiempo para sentirla y aceptarla, tu cuerpo estará agradecido contigo mismo, si la acción que te llevo a sentirte así fue causada por la acción de alguien más, una vez sereno puedes dirigirte hacia esa persona y ponerle límites, porque ya conoces tus límites y estás en todo tu derecho de establecer tus límites.

^{Once you have identified the emotion, you must find out why you feel this way, what caused it, it is often recommended to write down what you feel, and the action that led you to feel this way, you will have a better perspective of yourself, always valid your emotion, because if you are feeling it has some reason and justification: it is okay to feel this way, I am not irrational, I am a human being. Take some time to feel it and accept it, your body will be grateful to yourself, if the action that led you to feel this way was caused by the action of someone else, once you are calm you can go to that person and set limits, because you know your limits and you have the right to set your limits.}

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Debemos tener en cuenta que las acciones de los demás son su responsabilidad, no nuestras, ni tienen que ver con nosotros, debemos poner límites y regular como reaccionamos ante ello, pero si lo que nos hizo sentir de alguna manera fue una circunstancia de la que no tienes ningún tipo de control, entonces debes cuestionarte si la circunstancia tiene alguna solución o no y comenzar aceptar las cosas como vienen, ojo, en ningún momento digo que se deba aplacar lo que se siente, al contrario, está bien sentirnos de cualquier manera, nuestra responsabilidad es saber actuar ante ese sentir.

We must keep in mind that the actions of others are their responsibility, not ours, nor have to do with us, we must set limits and regulate how we react to it, but if what made us feel somehow was a circumstance that you have no control over, then you should question whether the circumstance has any solution or not and begin to accept things as they come, eye, at no time I say that you should placate what you feel, on the contrary, it is okay to feel any way, our responsibility is to know how to act to that feeling.

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Por muy molesta que me sienta, no puedo tirar cosas, golpear personas, perder los cabales, no, está bien sentir molestia, irritación, frustración, o en mi caso más usual, si estoy triste, no puedo pasar días sin ánimos de nada, a oscuras, acostada, entregarme a la tristeza y detener mi vida, no, está bien sentirme triste, está bien sentirme molesta, pero debo buscar la manera de regular la emoción y continuar con mi vida, encuentra la manera de transitar tu rabia, busca una almohada y grita, conversa con alguien para expresarte, has ejercicio, has algo que te guste hacer, escríbelo.

No matter how upset I feel, I cannot throw things, hit people, lose my mind, no, it is okay to feel annoyance, irritation, frustration, or in my more usual case, if I am sad, I cannot spend days with no mood at all, in the dark, lying down, surrender to sadness and stop my life, no, it is okay to feel sad, it is okay to feel upset, but I must find a way to regulate the emotion and continue with my life, find a way to deal with your anger, find a pillow and scream, talk to someone to express yourself, exercise, do something you like to do, write it down.

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No soy experta en estos temas de las emociones, yo aún me siento una niña a veces con algunas emociones de hecho, pero en comparación a como era antes de ser mamá, siento que he mejorado muchísimo y sigo aprendiendo, espero que mis consejos puedan ayudarlos o si tienen consejos para mí estoy abierta a escucharlos con gusto. Les deseo un hermoso fin de semana junto a sus familiares y amigos, un abrazo familia.

^{I am not an expert in these issues of emotions, I still feel like a child sometimes with some emotions, in fact, but compared to how I was before I became a mom, I feel that I have improved a lot and I am still learning, I hope my advice can help you or if you have advice for me I am open to listen to them with pleasure. I wish you have a beautiful weekend with your family and friends, a hug family.}

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