Hold Me Down / Original Song for #hiveopenmic 127

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(Edited)

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This will be my first time joining Hive Open Mic :)

I have been working on writing some songs and I figured a weekly theme might give me the kick in the butt I need to actually complete something by a certain deadline so here we are.

The theme this week was "Tevazu." In English, this means: "Humility-Modesty." I thought about this a bit and the phrase Down to earth came to mind which inspired these lyrics. I'd like to participate in more Open Mics but idk if I can write a song every week, let's see :)

---Hold Me Down---

Bring me back to earth
I need to feel the dirt
between my toes
I've been up here way too long
and I barely feel a thing
Bring me back to earth

And if I come back tomorrow
I hope you're here to
hold me down

Bring me back to earth
Cut the cord
and let me sink
it's almost over
and I barely even blinked
bring me down to earth

And if I come back tomorrow
I hope you're here
to hold me down


If you want to follow me on YouTube check out my channel here:


▶️ 3Speak



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41 comments
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aaaaahh it's very nice, I liked the lyrics.
bring us back to earth some mooooar~

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You could do the chorus x2, and add part C. Other than that this is an excellent piece! 😊

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Yeah it's definitely a bit short, I'm a super slow songwriter lol, maybe I'll expand on it in the future 👍

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It's not too short I think, but the current form I think is ABAB, where it could benefit from a third part, a C part, or some kind of an outro. If the B part is the chorus, you can repeat it, maybe building it up a bit to bridge it to the C part, then end with A, or leave it out and use the C as the outro.

I'm not really a musician so take everything I say with a grain of salt. I used to study music theory and singing during my school years but that's long gone now and I can't really remember it all. I doubt I have any voice left either. I did like it though. Singing.

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I've been reading some songwriting books which have been useful in terms of analyzing structure,your comments are spot on. Music theory is definitely my weakness. Every time I start to watch /read an explainer I kind of zone out but I know it's something I need to just do, I'm sure it will help my guitar playing, songwriting, lyrical melody etc. I'm shooting myself in the foot by always putting it off 😂

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You sound really nice..

I like the simplicity of the song and the chords on the guitar..

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Thanks 😃 very simple chords, Am Emaj / Dm Am then a chord I don't know the name, like Em but 1 fret higher lol

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It sounded really nice

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Via temo estas mirinda, bonvolu kiam ajn vi povas redakti pliajn eldonaĵojn, ni dankos ĝin

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Welcome to the Hive Open Mic community! It's a pleasure to have you here. Your composition and performance are awesome, you are a super artist and we are happy to have heard you, your voice is wonderful.

As a recommendation dear friend, submit your post mentioning the current week of Hive Open Mic and your user, as you do the other users, it is a custom that makes us understand that the post was made especially for the community.

Every week we propose new themes that serve as inspiration for users to give us samples of their talents.

Thank you for participating, we hope to see you next week. Best regards!

WhatsApp Image 2022-04-27 at 2.30.41 PM.jpeg

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Thanks looking forward to see if I can come up with anything next week 😃

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Such a simple but effective guitar accompaniment but so very effective. Love it!!

Singings not bad either 😀

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Thanks, working to improve both and also my performance anxiety 😄

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Wao! You've got a song pen right in your hand. I like this, keep it up.

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Damn a song a week is burnout speeds. Since music became my career I actually find myself writing significantly less. I use music on a practical basis, I like to improve myself through exercises and study but actual composition has crashed...

Seems maybe I should consider kicking my own arse in this way too!

Sounds nice =) kind of a Bowie vibe

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Yeah a song a week is probably optimistic 😂 I can usually come up with a little riff or a chorus pretty easily the problem is putting all those little bits together to make something coherent. Maybe a songlet (is that a word?) a week is more feasible. I won't be mad if I can't do it every week but I seem to be more productive with a deadline so let's see how it goes 🎶

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Oh my! Wow, I didn't know you were a musician!
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This was such a beautiful and relaxing song. It's songs like these I enjoy the most!

Do you perhaps have a Spotify by any chance?

P.S: Wasn't quite expecting that final chord strummed at the end lol. Kinda caught me off guard if you know what I mean XD

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I've been making music for a pretty long time but I started off making more ambient electro type stuff, I picked up guitar almost exactly a year ago 🎂 and have only recently begun writing acoustic. I'd love to doo a full acoustic album in studio but that may take a while lol. I have a Spotify but tbh I haven't uploaded in ages so it's all older:

https://open.spotify.com/artist/03eCEy26BeASQ7yFE8ToYO?si=I92Fjk4uRkGMUGOZNRJ6sw&utm_source=copy-link

You can find more recent stuff and all the music videos I made for my tracks on my YouTube 🎶

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Ahh.. I see. That's pretty cool. You're doing great so far.

Oh sweet, I just checked out the Spotify and can I say that never in my life have I heard a song as as strange yet satisfying as Comatose 😅

I'll be sure to check your YouTube though. You really do make great music.

Cheers!

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That sounds about right 😂 sometimes I go back to my old music for a listen and I'm like I made that? 🤔 wierd haha

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excellent song very beautiful and has that wonderful melancholy that reaches the heart, what a joy to see you here my great friend, greetings and success always

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Thank you for your participation in week 127. I enjoyed listening. (Sorry for the long reply.)👏👏👏👏👏

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