How I Survived For 3 Months Without Going To The Bathroom.

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I remembered the first time I got into college, it was a whole new different experience because it was with my closest friends from home, living in the same house. So we were already familiar with each other. Funny thing is that I joined them in a rented room that had a bathroom but never had a toilet. I couldn't believe anyone would pay for a room without a toilet, but my friends were conned by the agent into believing that after they paid money the toilet was going to be built. But the students who were already living there were also conned by the same agent into believing they'd build a toilet or sets of toilets, but apparently, the agent was fond of conning students every year with this same promise, and toilets were never built.

Nigerian agents have special places in hell

My friends didn't know what they were in for and after I got into year one with them, I was asking where the toilet was on my first day, but they laughed at me and told me that I was welcomed to the jungle where every potential corner was a toilet. I was disgusted by this development because I was used to having a good bathroom from home I bathed twice a day, imagine having to be told that I might have to bathe once in two days because there was no water anywhere. The people who had water had dogs at their gate, if you venture into their building you might get your hands bitten off by dogs. Another option was to buy water from tankers, but it was so damn expensive, the money for 5 liters could easily buy you breakfast and lunch.

Clean water was for the rich and privileged

We settled for well water, but this water was impure for bathing and cooking not to talk of drinking, we couldn't boil the water because we had an electric stove that took about 4 hours to boil two cups of rice. Sometimes we cook rice throughout the night and only ate dinner by 1 am, due to the cooker sometimes the electricity goes off leaving us with half-cooked food, and we'd have no choice but to abandon the food. This wasn't even the problem, not having a toilet was the prime problem. In fact, the house wasn't plastered and the students in the house would poo in the bathroom and fling it into the neighboring bush. They would compete over who had the highest long throw and would take turns to fling poo to measure who was fling champion.

Master of POO-lymics

In other words, king of shot put.

Anyone who had diarrhea or a running stomach was always the laughing stock. We were about five sleeping in one small room and there was a time one of the guys was having a runny stomach. He would get a paint plastic and would poo in the plastic inside the room and he did this at intervals and when the smell became unbearable, we would be forced to chase him out of the room, with this knicker hanging below his thighs. However, what I usually do in the absence of water was to wake up at midnight to steal people's water, went to our open space bathroom in the dead of the night, and took a silent bath, taking care not to alert people lest they came into the bathroom and was wondering if a ghost was taking a bath.

But, this was what I did

Then I'll go the to college building to use the toilets. This was probably because the house I lived outside the college, the backyard was farmland of poo, the flies buzzing there and the beautiful flowers were evidence that manure was bountiful there. It was a terrible sight to behold, and I never went there because I could fall sick. Most of the beautiful girls in our house had already mastered the art of poo-throwing. They noticed the backyard was already infested with poo, so what they usually do was to poo in a nylon bag and threw it beyond the fence into the neighboring houses rather than going to the backyard and bending down to do the poo business.

This was because fat flies wouldn't let them do this in peace, especially those flies that have spent months eating poo. It was disgusting and whenever we saw those elegantly beautiful girls from our dorm coming out of the bush, we the boys would begin to tease and laugh at them. It was rotational. In reality, the way the house was built, there was no privacy, there were girls who would take joy in yanking your door open immediately after you took a bath and yanked your towel off and probably began admiring your big machine before you put on your shorts. These girls were evil. They'd silently wait in ambush till when your towel was off and they'd come in to borrow salt, catching you unaware. But the boys couldn't particularly do this in return.

Beyond the POO comes the HONEY

was that relative?

One exciting thing beyond the poo, the dirt, and the disgust was that the student's life was exciting. One could easily survive a month with just $5 because someone else was ready to feed you. I would say being in that place taught me that life was harsh, people hustled to get an education at the expense of their health. It was a different ball game in class. Sadly I lost my father in the second year and I had to drop out because I couldn't afford to be there anymore. He was my sponsor and he died and no one was ready to sponsor me. My colleagues in class couldn't believe it. In desperation, some of them volunteered to contribute to my fees, but how long was I going to be a burden on them? They'd gotten so used to me and it was scary thru had to unanimously say goodbye. But I had to share this toilet story nonetheless 😅😅😅😅

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