Punday Monday 310!
Welcome to Punday Monday!
tl;dr
Make a pun about the topic of the week,
This week’s topic is sloths!
Here's how to make a pun, if you don't know: https://peakd.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties
New To Punday?
Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.
How To Make a Pun
This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun
Rules for the PUN-test:
- If you hope to win a prize [1 100% upvote per punster, 2 HSBI for a win), your pun must be your original work
- Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.
Last Week's Punday Monday:
Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!
Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winner of This Week's PUNday Monday Is...
OH, WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE FOR YOU?
How’s THIS:
Best Pun...
Best Pun of the Entire Week...
Best Overall Pun (click it)...
DRUMROLL PLEASE…..
This Week's Pun Topic Is:
Sloths
As in
Sloths are bad at getting back to their cars in before the parking meter runs out! The parking enforcement puts them at certain levels for number of times they’ve been impounded. They are three-towed.
I'm So Good at Puns
If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!
Related Content:
- @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
- https://bit.ly/improvonpopin to join me on a gaming app where I host funny trivia on Sunday nights, and Spades, Hearts, and Liar’s dice on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday
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Why don't sloths like to take selfies? Because they're too "slow-fies"!
As much as I love sloth jokes, I'll probably be a little bit slow developing them this week. I may end up toeing the submission deadline.
I was going to tell a sloth joke, but it was sloth-ful!
!lolz
Keep bringing the fun!
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But you can't piano a tuna.
Credit: reddit
@improv, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @captaincryptic
(2/10)
But you can't pee on no tuna
Jimmie and Billie, a couple of Neotropical Xenarthran mammals, were hanging out after church one Sunday. "What's your favorite of the deadly sins?" Said Jimmie.
'Well, I'd have to go with pride, probably,' said Billie.
"Oh, weird." Jimmie replied. "I would have figured you would have picked sloth."
I know Vegas is well known for their sloth machines. Unfortunately, they can be a little slow to pay out
I think this might be the only actual pun here lol.
In Hieronymus Bosch's painting The Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Last Things, he carefully expressed the allegory of each of the infamous seven sins, along with Death, Judgment, Heaven, and Hell (the four last things). Through powerful allegorical imagery, he was able to express multiple biblical stories in one drawing centered around the eye of God. Unfortunately, due to increasing job demands, he took a shortcut on the 5th sin, lazily deciding not to include the presence of a creature to signify the sin. Through such an ironic exclusion, which some scholars declared intentional, he had committed the sin of sloth.
"Sure, but where's the sloth pun, Mr. FreeCompliments?"
"Sorry, I was too slow to come up with one."
How did Sammy the Sloth and Seth the Sloth become best friends? Slowly hanging out together.