Forgiveness

Just looking at this topic, I began to reflect on it. It's one of the topics that one can't fully say I have complete knowledge of. Forgiveness is a complicated topic that most people try to avoid.

What is forgiveness? For me, forgiveness means letting go of an offense committed against you or not counting an offense against the offender. One can say forgiveness is not punishing an offender.

This topic leads to deep soul searching and raises some questions like, How often should I forgive? When should I forgive, or is there an offense for which I should not forgive? These are all questions one needs to answer. I will try to answer the aforementioned questions.

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How often should I forgive? Well, for me, I think there should be no particular number of times one should forgive. If, for instance, a friend offends me, no matter how many times, I should be able to forgive. I know one might say he will do it again because he did this same thing last time. Does that mean I should not forgive them? I should forgive them because if the reverse were the case, I would want someone I offended to forgive me.

When should I forgive? I believe one should forgive an offender even before the offender says I'm sorry. One can say he must say I'm sorry before I can forgive him. What if the person doesn't realize that what he did was an offense? Will I go keep malice with the offender? What if it takes the person ten years to realize his mistake? I believe one should not wait for an apology before forgiving. If an offender doesn't apologize to me, I simply point out his offense and move on with my life.

Is there an offense that I can't forgive? Well, I would say I can forgive every offense, but our relationship might not remain the same after that. Imagine someone who you call your best friend or close friend betraying you. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but I can't say I won't forgive you. I would, but I will become distant and careful with my dealings with you so that I won't get hurt over and over again.

I can't sit in the comfort of my room and tell you about forgiveness. Everyone knows how to deal with this subject matter when the need arises. We all have different ways of dealing with such issues. For me, I believe life is full of good and evil. So we might end up not always meeting with good people.

I remember a case where someone I called a friend was spreading lies about me. When I found out, I approached her, and she tried denying it. I was pretty angry and promised myself not to talk to her again. That fateful night, I could not sleep, so I picked up my phone and sent her a text saying that I had forgiven her. I became more careful and cautious.

Forgiveness is paramount if we are to achieve our potential.