This topic is still very controversial, we know the day we arrive in this world but not when we will leave. That goodbye is forever, we will no longer be in this earthly world leaving a great void in the hearts of the people who love us. The only sure thing we have in this life is death and we will all cross that bridge never to return.
What if it were the other way around? A slow and painful farewell, we know the end is near, we see it coming, but does it hurt less?.
In 2008, I knew that I would no longer have my mother, that I could no longer count on her, ask her for advice, tell her my things or share somewhere. She was alive, but I had begun a journey to oblivion, to never-never land.
Photo from my family album
Officially she had not been diagnosed, but we assumed that Alzheimer's had begun to run through her mind. She was not aware of anything, but I was, and so was my family. As the months went by, her health got worse and worse, with diagnosis in hand, she started a treatment that did not work. Everything was done, but her mind started its journey and she was never the same again. Not only was there cognitive damage, but also at the motor level, his limbs began to stiffen, he stopped talking, then walking and lost a lot of weight.
She was unrecognizable, although her face did not harbor wrinkles, the ravages on her body had taken all the years in the world. So we watched her die every day, slowly, we knew that at some point her body was not going to last any longer. Eating was already a sacrilege because it was hard for her to swallow the porridge we had to prepare for her, it took hours for her to eat, everything was very slow.
It was classic of the disease that even if she was fed, her body did not absorb the nutrients, that is why she lost body mass and was malnourished. Seeing her like that was pain and suffering, we could not do anything about a degenerative disease like Alzheimer's, which today has no cure.
My mother was only skin and bones, she wore diapers, she could not move and she began to get bedsores, wounds that went with her because they never healed. I remember one Saturday I saw her so bad and for a moment I told her "I don't want you to suffer anymore". I saw her very bad, so thin and with those wounds, it was very sad. The next day, on Sunday at noon, we took her to the clinic, but nothing could be done, she was discharged and in the evening she died.
I remember that some girls who were doing a thesis on Alzheimer's asked me in the interview if we were prepared for her death, "I said no", even though I knew what the end was, but not the day.
The memories
They always remain, what we shared, the joys, together in difficult times, is what we keep in our minds and in our hearts. We never forget her birthday and that at Christmas she used to prepare the best pasticho in the world. That he was always with us at all times, that he did not sleep when we were sick, for example.
Photo from my family album
Photo from my family album
Sometimes I dream of her, that she is alive, as if she never got sick and we are all together as a family as before.
Since she got sick we faced a long and sad farewell, however, contradictorily I start to think that she did not say goodbye to us either because before she left her mind was already absent. When she left I felt a cocktail of feelings that I could not explain, she was no longer physically there, however, her absence was now forever. Life always goes on for what we are here for, resignation comes, but the memories remain intact in my memory.
El traductor utilizado fue deepl // The translator used was deepl.
Gracias por leer mi publicación // Thank you for reading my publication!
https://twitter.com/rodriguez_ylen/status/1571597384945115137
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Amiga @hylene74. De repente o poco a poco el último adiós siempre es doloroso, constituye una experiencia única que cada ser humano maneja a su manera. Compartir unidos en familia, no siempre es posible, porque cada miembro de ella puede reaccionar a su manera, pero es la mejor fórmula para sobrellevar esas dolorosas situaciones, que pueden convertirse en traumáticas.
Es importante establecer acuerdos sobre la forma de tomar las decisiones, cuando el enfermo no puede tomarlas por sí mismo, para evitar polémicas.
El dolor se irá apagando y los recuerdos bonitos se irán imponiendo sobre los desagradables.
Gracias por compartir tu experiencia personal, que puede ayudar a otras personas a vivir las suyas.
Un abrazo gigante desde la distancia.
Nada más cierto:
Así trato de llevar las cosas, recordar lo bonito que vivimos, gracias por ese abrazo que va de vuelta, saludos.
♥♥♥
Es una situación que nadie desea, lo mejor es llenarse de valentía y hacer de los recuerdos de alegría la memoria de la persona que parte. Por tanto lo único que está en nuestras manos es vivir nuestro tiempo presente, recibir el regalo de la vida todos los días.
Los recuerdos de lo vivido es lo que nos queda. Cada despedida es diferente, pero nadie puede borrar lo que hemos atesorado en la memoria y en el corazón.
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