My Letter to Santa Claus 2021 & Christmas Card to Everyone on Hive

Source:

Harlow Journey's Letter to Santa Claus 2021

Harlow, aren't you a little old to be writing to Santa Claus?

What? Nonsense. I am only five years old.

Umm... no offense, but I am fairly certain you are older than five. For one thing, you and I both know you were a child of the seventies.

Shhh... I am only five years old.

Okay, delusional one. Write your letter to Santa.

Fine. I will. In fact, I already did.

I know. I live inside your left elbow.

Yes. I am aware.

Right.

All of that being established, can we go on with the letter now?

Okay, I suppose so.

---

Dear Santa,

Let's face it. We both know I was pretty bad this year, but, in fairness, it was a bit of a shit year. I would like to say, with all due respect, that I find it creepy that you see me when I'm sleeping and know when I'm awake. It's stalker-ish. Frankly, it's astounding that no one has yet filed a restraining order.

I suspect that this is because you have a good reputation and tend to give gifts. Still, it's weird and I highly recommend you stop. Then again, how many counts of breaking and entering do you commit? Even if it's only once a year, that's a felony, Claus. Multiple felonies if we're honest. I would hate to see you end up in jail.

Then again, the same magic that allows you to simultaneously view all of us while keeping a running tally of our sins would probably protect you from the police. After all, this is powerful magic that allows you travel to the homes of all the people who believe in you and are of a certain socioeconomic status. Don't look so shocked, Nicky. You know it's true.

I don't think you can get me what I want for Christmas, which is peace on Earth and an end to poverty and world hunger. How could the elves possibly make those in the appropriate size and colour before Christmas?

What would I like for Christmas besides that? Well, I guess I would like my health and the health of my loved ones. Oh, and it would be great if my crypto investments could pay off in huge ways. That sounds selfish, but, trust me, Santa Claus, I would spread that wealth and lots of people would be happy.

Okay, well, I hope I didn't insult you too badly. If you come to my place, I will leave you a bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk. A full sized 100g bar. Clearly, I'm not above bribery.

Love,

Harlow

P.S. I really didn't mean the stuff about your being a criminal.

P.P.S. Can elves manufacture cars? My car is great, but it's getting pretty old. Still, I am happy it runs.

P.P.P.S. My regards to Mrs. Claus, the elves, the reindeer, and any unadvertised family members you may have stashed up there with you in the North Pole.

---

To You,

Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday Season to you and your family from me, my left elbow, my cats, and all my personalities! Writing on Hive is proving to be an interesting and transformative journey. Who knows what 2022 will bring?

I look forward to getting to know all of you better and to reading your stories, and I truly appreciate it when you take the time to read my nonsense. I read as much as I can each day, and I like getting to know people through their writing.

One goal I have for 2022 is to comment more, but maybe write shorter comments. When I write book-length comments, it makes it harder to comment on as much as I would like to comment on! Anyhow, Happy Christmas!

Love,

Harlow xoxo