Quit: letting go of a childhood friend

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Growing up I had a childhood friend called Sarah. We were so close that I feel as though we were actual sisters and not friends. We live on the same street, go to the same school and attend the same church, our bond was so strong, and we loved each other. I thought we would always be together forever.

When we resume SS2, my family had to relocate after our house was built, although the street was far from hers, I felt that love cannot be broken by distance. Our friendship continued because we see each other in school, in church and we also do visit each other's homes.

There was this girl in my class, Mary, she was the assistant class monitor. We are not that close with her just the occasional greetings. I still remembered the day everything changed. It was after church service, she came to tell me how funny it was that her mom and Mary's mom knew each other from their secondary school days. Turns out that Mary's father sent his wife and children out of the house because his wife gave birth to only five girls and had no son

I was shocked when she told me about this, I have only read about things like that in storybooks and here I was witnessing it happen to someone I know.

The mother came to Sarah's street to rent a house and both women ran into each other. And imagine their surprise when they knew their daughters attend the same school and were classmates. She told me, her mother asked her to be nice to the girl and that they should become friends. I had no problem with this, after all, we go to the same school.

Am going to admit I became jealous of Mary, it felt like she got more attention from my friend than I do. They come to school together, go home together, lived so close to each other and see each other every time. I called her a friend stealer in my mind. But irrespective of this though we were still friends.

Third term of SSS2, my friend didn't come to school, and Mary told me she was sick. After school, I went to check on her, she was really sick, she couldn't come to school for weeks and I visit her every time I could. I was in for a surprise when she resumed school and snubbed me. At first, I thought it was because we were having lessons but after the first period ended, she didn't greet me or say hi. I was shocked and angry, I decided I was going to be the same.

We stopped talking to each other even though we were seatmates. When I got home and told my sister about the issue, she told me that instead of behaving in the same foolish manner, her exact words, I should reach out to her. The next day I greeted her, and she replied reluctantly, no matter how hard I try to get her to talk to me, she wouldn't, so I left her alone. That Friday, she told me we should go home together, now Mary didn't come to school that day. So I knew she made me a second option because she didn't want to go home alone, but despite knowing this I agreed. After that day, it was like our friendship was revived, we were back to normal.

Only for a while though, I began to realise sometimes we would not speak for days not only in school but also at church. One day she was fighting with another girl in school and I was supporting her, the girl looked at me and called me a fool. She told me if I knew what my friend said about me, I would stop being friends with her. I was stunned, Sarah couldn't deny it.

After secondary school, we were still friends. I think I was the only one in the relationship though, I tried so much to salvage the friendship. I go to her house every time, just to show I care. I call and message her from time to time but she hardly visits me.

One day I heard her talking with someone in the church, that she and her bestie went to the market to get some clothes. I knew I didn't follow her to get any clothes, so I was not the bestie she was referring to. It was then it hit me that I was fetching water into her basket when it comes to my relationship with Sarah.

And from that day, I stopped trying to fix what was not broken. I told myself that there are lots of people without best friends. I felt so liberated, and stop wasting time and money, trying to fix the relationship. I focused on other things and was much happier. I was so obsessed with the title of having a childhood best friend because I watch movies where best friends shared everything and I wanted that. We later changed church because my mom wanted us to go back to the Catholic church. We eventually drifted apart and become strangers.

Now I have met new people and built amazing relationships. Best friends don't have to be from childhood, you can have a bestie much later in life. Sarah and I do chat once in a Blue Moon on WhatsApp, I won't even say I miss her.