If it's useful for me, perhaps it will be for you as well

There was a time when I used this blog as a way to communicate with myself. Of course, the monetary rewards were low and the utility of this to the community was questionable, but it was really useful for me and my mental health to do so. It didn't hurt that at least some coin was pouring in while I did something that was necessary to improve my quality of life.

I'd like to get that back. It's hard because when I write for the audience, I get paid a lot better than when I write for myself. But I'll try and look past that, because right now what I need from this blog is to help me keep my thoughts organized. Besides, just as my words of self-guidance can prove of utility for myself, they just might help someone out there as well.

So, what are we doing right now? We're letting the words flow once again, and cutting away all the thoughts that try to question the purpose of this. We're moving away from the what and the why, and moving into the how. And the how is flow, continuity, release.

There are many tensions that come up when thinking about how to communicate and yet it has been proven over and over again that they are useless and don't provide the protection that one imagines it might. It would seem that you will be shielded from harm if you just keep quiet in a corner, but the corner can be as painful as anything else.

It gets harder to continue with the keys of my keyboard falling off, but I must not let that get in the way. Now, it's all about advice to the self. And what useful advice have I given myself till this moment? Oh yes, flow, continuity, release.

If one could have those three concepts in mind with every action taken, this might turn out quite nicely. Of course, it's important to remember to breathe with intention. To seek the prana in each breath, hunt it down, harvest it to the maximum possible. With each conscious breath, the etheric network and receptors become stronger, capable of integrating even more of that vital energy so necessary to lead the mind into a state of well-being and release from anxiety.

The ability to remind the self of conscious breathing can break the continuity at times, because sometimes continuity happens in a state of unawareness. But right now this must not worry me, it must keep going, the moment you stop to think about what has been said or written, is the moment that all crumbles into the realms of existentialism or as Osho would say: "phoolosophy".

This is because there are infinite questions and each question bears infinite answers that will at the same time trigger infinite questions once again. The desire to finally uncover the whole of the mystery leads to anguish and anxiety for it is too large to wrap the mind around it. It goes on and on, each day brings new creations, each creations more consequences and evolution keeps pushing forward before you were able to understand what happened during the day.

A single day can indeed be too much for a human mind. Usually, things are calm enough to take it easy, but every now and then a day will exist that will take much resilience to endure, or much open-mindedness to understand. So, being as nothing is certain, having the illusion of certainty can actually be a gift if you can take the time to appreciate it.

I remember a year when I refused certainty altogether. What a painful year that was, I gave my mind no chance to stop. Threats lurked around every corner and my chest tightened every few minutes. Nowadays, I can allow myself the illusion of certainty, which might be what some people call faith. Perhaps the faithful are indeed allowed into heaven and don't even have to wait to die to get there.

Good, I missed this.