The Loss
Not long ago Galen posted this weekend's topics. The good thing about this challenge is that there are a few topics each time, so you can be certain there's one you like. This time I decided to go with the following:
Share your thoughts on loss: The loss of physical or mental ability, of freedom, people in your life or of opportunity or possessions. How has the loss affected you and what have you personally done to mitigate the effects and move forward? source
Losing someone or something is never easy, unless it is a problem you lose or a debt. I'm not going to write about the people I've lost, I don't feel like writing about that and besides, I think each of us has to find our own way out of grief, you can't apply what others have done as it may not work for you. What I'm going to write about today is impermanent loss that made me realize what I have, what I can lose and how I should value what those things.
As you know, loss can be permanent and/or impermanent. Today I'm going to talk about the impermanent loss I have experienced a few times in life and how it has changed me.
The first one was quite funny and not as shocking as the other ones. I started early, at 16, while in high school, when I had cast on my right hand due to tendinitis. I could not write at school, could not dress myself up and pretty much needed help with everything during my daily activity. It was easy back then as had no obligations, just go to school, study and that was all. Not being able to take notes at school was kind of cool those days, many envied me for that. Tests were out of the question too, but I needed to take those later anyway, so it was just a delay.
The second time I had a problem with my right hand was a bit later, I was in my early twenties and had a cast again, for the same reason. That was brutal as could not work, but still had to go to work. Dressing myself up was a nightmare, so were the rest of the things a person does daily. I remember I had to eat with my left hand, while I'm right handed. That was when I made a promise to myself, that I will learn to eat with both hands and will use both my hands equally, to avoid acting like a crippled when something happens to me. I did that till one point, then I forgot about it.
Then I had some serious problems with my lower back and could not walk get up for two days and could not walk for a week. The doctor gave me a diagnosis that wasn't as bad as she thought when I walked in the consulting room, but she told me this is something I need to live with for the rest of my life and it depends on me how I handle it. Got some instructions and I'm doing what the doctor told me, but sometimes I get in trouble anyway. You know, one wrong move and you're done.
The last one was a couple of years ago I think, when I could only move around the house with a walking stick, but even so, with grate difficulty and pain. Imagine not being able to walk freely and getting to the bathroom, even with a walking stick feels like running a marathon or climbing the Everest. I was sitting (or trying to sit) on my bed and was thinking what life would be for me like, if I would not be able to walk. What would I do all day? How would I go out as there's no elevator where I live now and things like that.
Then not long ago, at the end of last month the electricity company decided to play pranks on me and for a minute or two I though I went blind. That was maybe the biggest scare of my life. For a minute or two, till I realized I'm not blind, all kinds of thoughts ran through my head, like what the hell happened, or how will I be able to live without seeing? But the realization of what I could have lost came only after, when I was able to calm down and think clearly. I mean obviously we know if we lose our eye site we have to live blind, but have you ever tried to imagine what life would be like for you? Have you? I had to.
The thing is, we tend to forget these unfortunate events and go back to taking everything for granted, as before. It's easy to forget and think you have everything and you will have everything for the rest of your life. But is that the case? I don't think so.
I try not to forget to appreciate what I have and I'm also grateful for what I have. You see so many ungrateful people, complaining about small things, constantly. Nothing is ever good enough for them and nothing is ever enough for them.
So which category are you part of? Can you appreciate what you have or you need a reminder that you can lose it, in order to be able to appreciate it?
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Losing something in life is very sad, but no one can resist it if fate has said so
I am also concerned about the condition of your back, may you always be healthy and also the best for all of us
Thank you for the wishes and no worries, it's manageable.
I'm glad to hear it 🙏
To keep living we must loss something important, is only the dead that do not loss because they are not living, but we always pray for a means to replace such important things, it pains most when we now loss our fellow human because they are irreplaceable.
I think I disagree with that.
Oh really?
Sorry 😢
I felt your pain while reading. But as you told me sometime back, when we look closely enough, we would realize there is always a way.
You always motivate me. Thanks for sharing😊
No worries, where there's will, there's a way. I have a bracelet with that engraving.
Wow 😊
Loss is a universal experience that affects us all differently. It can be the loss of physical or mental ability, of freedom, people in your life, or of opportunity or possessions.
I can imagine that you have encountered your fair share of loss, and I admire your resilience in the face of it. The way you have learned to appreciate what you have and not take things for granted is truly inspiring.
Life teaches you to appreciate what you have, or can humble you in many ways. The sooner you learn this lesson, the better for you. I'm speaking from experience.
Ahh I think my mom has tormented me a lot with that "be thankful that you can walk, be thankful that you are healthy, be thankful that you have food, be thankful that you have a roof to live in." 😅
I'm so sorry for what you had to go through with your pain. It is true that being incapacitated is quite uncomfortable, but these are those moments in which we should feel lucky because we know that it is only temporary. I still remember the incident with your power company and the false blindness for a moment, luckily it was nothing more than that.
Reflecting on this, my biggest transitory loss was in 2021 when I was hospitalized for almost 40 days for lung surgery, isolated without visits due to the Covid pandemic. Those were very difficult days, alone with my mind and with all the pain of a horrible post-operative period. Without seeing my family or friends, without being able to go out beyond a small balcony, without being able to move comfortably, I needed help for everything. When all that was finally left behind I felt very relieved, but it was the biggest lesson of my life and I never again seriously complained about something insignificant.
Looks like we were raised the same way. I was always told to appreciate what I have and all the things you mentioned above. It's a good way by the way and many kids should experience what it means to lose what they have as they grow up having everything and can appreciate nothing.
I'm so sorry to read about what you have been through. That must have been terrible and covid made it even more terrible. Are you ok now? Do you still need treatment? I hope not.
Life teaches us how to appreciate what we have.
Luckily I'm fine and I don't need any extra treatment 😀. Thanks for asking.
I was only having this conversation with someone a week or so ago, about not really appreciating our body when it's functional. It only until it's not functioning properly that we think about it usually. Human nature.
I have back issues, sometimes worse than others, and of course I've had other issues. So, I try and think about it when things are good and I have no debilitating issues, you know, sort of appreciate it.
The blindness thing...that would be pretty scary I think. Imagine waking up blind, or even deaf. Makes me think, I should be more grateful I'm not, I should appreciate it more.
Yes, human nature to take everything for granted and only realize that when something bad happens. I'm glad you had the conversation with that person. At least you two know.
Sorry to know you have back issues too. Not a nice thing to live with, but could be worse.
Yes, the blindness. While writing the post I was thinking which would be worse, but the truth is, you can't negotiate which is worse.
I agree, we should be more grateful and appreciate what we have.
Being grateful should be our default setting right?
How are you now Erikah? Can you walk now ? I'm really worried about you. It's 7 am in the morning in my country and I started my day reading your blog. And honestly I needed this. I'm so frustrated with my life. But after reading your post I realised I'm grateful for everything I have now . Please Take Care my friend.
Hello there. Yes, I can walk, no problems.
There's always something that makes us frustrated, but it's better to keep an open mind and focus on what's important.
Take care and I'm glad my post helped you get some balance.
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This is extremely curious because things very similar to yours have happened to me.
First of all, I am hereditarily blind. Well, not "totally blind", but I have too little vision, basically if I take off my glasses I simply can't make out most things in front of me, I need to have them right in front of me in order to process what I'm seeing XD. There have been times when I've thought about what it would feel like to be totally blind and I really can't imagine a life without vision, I think at this point in life (20 years old) I've learned enough about what it's like to live this way to lose my vision niw. I just couldn't or can't imagine living like that.
And secondly, I also had a somewhat similar problem with your back problems. Mine wasn't severe enough to live with throughout my life, but 1-2 years ago I had a problem in my lower back that prevented me from getting up and walking completely; it was too much pain for me. I didn't go to any doctor or anything because I didn't think it was that serious (and it wasn't, fortunately) and since that day I promised myself to exercise to relieve my back and also to keep a better physical shape (something I had already been planning for months, but I never dared to do it). That was the moment where I started to appreciate a little bit the basic functions we can perform, because, like you, I wondered how I was going to distract myself if I lost my walking.
And I think that's been it so far. I'm only fairly young so I haven't experienced as many things as you have, but anyone can have a moment where they have to stop and reflect on the little things they have and don't know how to appreciate them.
Cheers!
Oh God! I had no idea you live with these problems and I'm sorry to hear that. Cases like yours should serve as examples to many. You see people complaining for this and that, yet others are living with several disabilities and are still finding a way to enjoy life.
Hats off for how you handle things and never give up! Life is life and must be enjoyed, as well as appreciated.
Thanks for sharing your story. It makes me appreciate little things more.
Let me just say this. I love the pictures you have used.
In future when we get an office I’m going to have paintings like those hanging there. And my home too.
The contented heart is the happy one! Contentment attracts more. If you value the small things you have more and better things will come your way.
Those are partial photos of a graffiti, which I liked and thought why not take some photos.
They’re really nice photos.
Hey @erikah - whatever our loss, it makes us think about what we still have. As you mentioned with the fright of possibly losing your vision, you start appreciating having good vision. To me, I believe all these events in our life are actually character building if we approach them with a degree of positivity.
2 months ago I was laid up in hospital and I could hardly walk, I had lost sensation in my hands and I was really struggling to see anything - even read my Hive message on my phone!! However, at the same time there were people in hospital on the beds next to me who were literally dying around me. It was grim, but it made me appreciate what I still had rather than feel sorry for myself for what I had lost. I was determined to make the most of what I had still in life and get my strength back as quickly as I could.
Thank god, I do now have my strength back and have even been out running. I just need to be really careful because my eyesight is poor but hey - I don't exactly run at 80 mph.
Above all, we all need to live life while we can and appreciate what we still have despite the pain and grief that loss can cause us.
Loved your post 😀
Que bueno que hayas podido hacer una instrospección e ir analizando todo lo que te ha sucedido, gracias por compartirlo con nosotros porque tus experiencias pueden ayudar a otras personas, tal vez no darles una solución pero si un punto de partida para entender que a otros les sucede lo mismo o que pudieron salir de ese momento.
Esta frase que dejaste aqui es muy buena, sucede muy a menudo, pero tambien hay que tener en cuenta que aunque sean pequeñeces les sucede a esas personas y no por ello es algo menor pero claro, hay casos y casos.