RE: Oder of Death
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You can basically use any event to attribute it to certain causes. I don't know who is crazier. Those who snort everything about disasters in the media like cocaine or those who ignore everything? By looking at everything very superficially, this creates a massive field of fear and the fearful person then only wishes that "someone" would sort it out and "fix" it again. Although I know that my fixation on bad news online is unhealthy for me, I open my usual URLs every morning and check. So I'm probably no less crazy than anyone else.
I lack a purpose, a human togetherness, an orientation, but when prescribed, it is not for me.
The strange fascination with the end of the world and what man contributes to it is like a thorn in the flesh that I cherish as if it were my best friend. I am sick with my awareness of myself.
So what to do?
Today I worked on a wrought iron table with a slate top that I found with the epoxy cementing the stone broken and needing grout, and met with my son to discuss burying my father. Yesterday I installed baseboards for a single grandmother. I find purpose in helping my neighbors, building and repairing the structures that will provide them the ability to enjoy their home, to live well.
So many NEETs I know think they are smarter than wagies, but most of them are almost suicidal, abhor their neighbors, sunk in debauchery and purposeless.
Humanity is sacred. None of the individual people I know aren't profane, and it's facile to look at the world suffering the people of it as a kind of cancer, but we're not. We're on the cusp of restoration of egalitarian society. Centralization is being increasingly deprecated and decentralized means of production burgeon, develop, and disperse across the population, eliminating parasitic losses to overlords. The WEF is literally desperate to maintain their wealth and power, and trying every trick they can to keep us enriching them. But decentralization is the cutting edge of technological advance across all fields of industry today, and centralization, and the overlords, propaganda, and war that comes with them, is obsolete.
The laws of physics, the very structure of the universe itself, has made centralization a temporary phase humanity has suffered to advance technology from the Stone Age to the Space Age, and that phase is over. It will take time to build out the infrastructure, to develop 3d printers, aquaponics, mesh networks, and the rest, but the transition is inevitable, and overlords cannot bully, bribe, or trick the laws of physics.
Upon the completion of the transition to decentralized production of the goods and services people need to create civilization, humanity will be restored to the largely egalitarian society we evolved in prior to the advent of agriculture, when every household had to make the necessities they depended on by hand.
In due time we will be free. Our posterity will be more prosperous and enjoy a felicity we cannot imagine, free, able to pick and choose between the stars of the heavens at their sole option, according to their whim, for their possession.
In the meantime, we can help one another. That's what I do, and recommend.
Thanks!
Edit: tonite is the peak of the Perseid meteor shower. The shooting stars will come from Cassiopeia, the 'w' of stars. Maybe go out tonite and watch them, and think about our ancestors doing that for many millenia before us. Gain some perspective.
Thank you for replying. I appreciate your sincerity.
I have to reflect more on what you mentioned here and where I can find this kind of hope and positivity.
My personal situation left me with less human contact and task in life than ever before. I still have not found my way back into community and I asked myself if I ever was part of one, except in childhood.
My view of this world chattered numerous times, I guess.
Oh, I did not watch the meteor shower. I was so tired from the heat that I went to bed early. But thank you for pointing that out.
I will probably come back to you in one way or the other.
I deeply appreciate your circumstances, the more deeply the older I get. It seems opportunities to participate in friendships decline continually in life, and drop off precipitously after 50 or so. It's also difficult to see myself as a beacon of hope and positivity as I have long maintained that hope is my worst enemy, and fear my best friend. Fear keeps me alert and ready to zig and zag when the path ahead requires it, while nothing more disrupts me and causes distress than hope crushed. So I strive to not hope, to simply ordain my steps one after the other, without particular expectations that can be dashed and leave me distraught.
God forbid you find yourself reduced to my paucity of hope.
I wish you well, to find joy and contentment in the small corners of satisfaction availed us daily, and not to the giddy heights of mere happiness and great conceits that seem synonymous with grandiose plans, which all too often crash on the rocks of reality, leaving only crushing disappointment in our selves, in their wake.
I understand.
For my part, I can confirm that friendships become rarer with age.
I think there is still a difference between not getting one's hopes up too high and fear as a helper not getting too lost in illusions. For me, it is rather the unacknowledged fear of others that frightens me. It seems to be very difficult for people to have an honest conversation with each other. They talk to you as if they live according to their ideals, but I hear that this is more of a wish than a reality. For example, someone recently said to me "I am grateful!" with exclamation marks, which immediately destroyed her statement and turned it into more of an accusation of ingratitude to the imaginary people she saw in her mind.
The realisation, on the other hand, that people have about how unfree they are is not for those who only ever recognise such things outside their own environment, but not in their own.
People often say things they don't really mean. For example, "Feel completely at home with me and relax". But if you follow this friendly invitation, they complain that you feel at home and relax. It would be better to say what rules the guest should follow in the house and to face the situation that the guest might see it differently. This conflict aversion is a real nuisance.
Moreover, since everyone lies, even those who accuse others of their lying, no one is trustworthy in the eyes of others.
I didn't get along with people as straightforward as you, for example, for a long time. In the meantime I have come to appreciate their attitude. So some have told me that I am straightforward myself. HaHa!
I'm not sure whether I wished for something special from you ... probably more to talk to someone who can be talked to.
Thank you for that.
I feel fortunate to have this conversation with you. It is rare to taste one's own meal on another's tongue. While you may be aware of your own little white lies, you are forthright in this matter, more than skin deep.
It is refreshing indeed.
Thank you. I forward it back to you.
HaHa, so true! :)
There was a time in my life, I wanted to be holier than holy. I thought of myself as nice and good and doing no harm. While that "doing no harm" was true in the sense that I don't go out and want to kill or hurt another human being, I fell for utopian ideas and back referenced it to my way of life. Consuming less, abandoning car driving, no traveling by planes, eating less meat, you name it. While this in itself is not to be condemned, I gave others a sense of guilt or behaved as a "know it all" when they opted for another lifestyle.
I now see through my failures and this urge in "wanting to be good". To my own defense, I started to dig deeply into those world saving ideas and finally came out of it with no solution whatsoever.
A former friend of mine told me in a very harsh way that I tend to babble. She was right in the sense that I used all nice expressions and was beating around the bush. That got me so furious that I finally expressed myself much more straightforward. While we killed our friendship in the course of this encounter, I feel, she did me a favor. Feeling genuine gratitude towards those who appear as the biggest aggressors or idiots remains yet an art to be practiced.
Do you have some in your mind with which you had similar experiences?
It's a constant refrain in my life. Beginning with my parents, who managed to keep me alive despite my incessant brushes with death, to folks here that correct me when my reading comprehension falls short. Sometimes it seems the more horrible someone treats me, the more I learn from them.
I see.
Was it recently that you fought death or an older episode of your life?
I would perhaps not formulate that the more horribly someone treats you, the more you learn, but rather the more straightforwardly and without embellishment someone does it. With this person you can recognise that he or she has weaknesses of their own that are visible behind e.g. the anger. A form of helplessness ... perplexity. At least that's how I feel.
I should be least concerned with people who display psychological dodginess and obsession, because they don't actually speak to me and lack understanding of their own faults. A strange fascination emanates from them, however, because between the confused there is often a captivating view of the defectiveness of those they target. To put it biblically: none of us could cast the first stone, could we? So these confusingly apt statements of the possessed about others often have a kernel of truth, which, however, remains confined to them, but does not reflect back to themselves.
I never thought I'd make 18. I repeatedly sidestepped sudden death throughout my childhood, so much that I actually gave it thought and decided I'd better live as hard as I could before I died. This proved to be rather ill advised, but, hey, I was a kid. From wrecking motorcycles, swamping boats, and leaping out of trees on purpose, Alaska proved luck outweighs reason in my youth. In my later teens, driving a forklift off a dock, a car with no brakes off a cliff, and more boating tricks, the doubt I'd survive to majority was reinforced almost monthly.
I have maintained the good luck required to keep all my digits attached and limbs functional all my life, despite stepping out of the way of certain death at the last minute regularly. Then I had a heart attack a couple years ago, and again cheated death by chasing down the ambulance on foot when they drove right past my house, making it to an airport for life flight out of town because the airport here was flooded that night, and managing not to mess up the surgery when I woke up in the middle of it, yet was working 70 hours a week 1 week later.
One of these days I'll fall under a bus, eat a bullet, or something. Luck can't carry a guy forever.
I note that I never learn from being lucky, either. Well, that's not entirely true. I fell off a second story and bounced pretty hard ~10 years ago, and the next day I had a harness, so even lucky bounces can teach you something. However, it is the more painful experiences we are motivated not to repeat, and that is what I mean when I say the worse I have been treated the more I have learned, because there is no pain worse than pain you should have avoided by learning from past mistakes.
I am incapable of rectifying others' behaviours or views, and it has taken intolerable anguish to finally learn this definitively. I undertake to not be dependent on another's actions for my well-being, because I can chastise me or pay the price for ill-considered adventures I foolishly undertake, but wives and bosses not so easily when they volunteer me for them. Stoning others for their sins never cures wounds I bear as a result of those sins, so I don't seek to regardless of whether I am righteous enough to even consider it. Not only is it laughable for me to consider me some kind of moral authority, unless I can prevent the commission of crimes by doing so, stoning anyone else neither does me nor anyone any good.
I spend none of my limited attention on thoughts of revenge.
Better that I figure out how I got harmed and set boundaries that will keep it from ever happening again.
Thank you for this insight into your daring life. I wonder how you got the idea that you wouldn't turn 18.
I felt very entertained and the dramatic description of especially your last event, that you went after the ambulance and were taken to the hospital in the plane, as well as the awakening on the operating table are pretty stark, but so are all the others:)
Since you didn't actually die, all those experiences where you narrowly escaped death or serious injury are the salt in the soup of your experiences. I think people love risk as much as they loathe it. I call the one urge innate, the other instilled. For one more, for the other less. Your parents have certainly been through a lot with you! How do you tell such stories within the family? Are they part of a tradition?
I come from a large family and my parents were both good storytellers and have survived their own near-death experiences and dangers, of which I in particular, as the youngest, only developed a less than pale inkling. It was only as I grew older that I appreciated that a risky life marked by pain and abandonment is not at all pitiful in so far as these episodes are behind one. The saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is true here, although as with everything, it can have a downside. You certainly are not loving those episodes while they last, they hurt, they disturb. But once they are over they make up the best stories.
For me, remorse is not necessarily connected with mistakes I have made, i.e. experiences I have had, regardless of their nature, but rather with having abstained from lived reality, i.e. having given preference to certainty over spontaneity and chance.
It is precisely this that sometimes drives me to despair, a form of civilisational disease, if you will. Modern people have - only apparently - deprived themselves of the experience of a perilous life, in the sense that they tend to undertake risky manoeuvres intellectually or do not perceive those concerning their bodies as perilous in this respect. For example, driving a car or other speed-generating transport. It is always possible to have a fatal accident or kill others. However, people do not generally think this way when they get into a car and are about to drive off. I accept this and am therefore annoyed in a certain sense when an accident then occurs that the clamour for safety becomes great. Ships sink, planes crash, cars collide. But that doesn't mean that I wish people dead, it just means that I accept it when it happens. A big difference.
You can't say this so directly, people might interpret it as callousness and even naivety, because their argument for more safety is always: if it happened to you personally or your relative, you would also suffer and have asked for safety. That would even be true in a personal case and yet it doesn't apply to all those who die by accident every day because I don't have a personal relationship with all those people.
I mention this aspect because "all people" should never be my concern. If they were, then I would presume to be able to come up with the solution to all the problems in the world, as is happening right now. I think this is a distorted view of life and of things that are inexplicable and ultimately unsolvable.
Death is therefor something which can only be accepted as universal. Everything and every man dies, that is the biggest certainty for all of us. I irritates me, to say the least, when people talk about "overcoming deaths". I find it's the biggest nonsense.
That contradicts a bit what you said earlier. Not the whole sentence but that "never again". You said
Seems, that you still assume you won't make it much further but then, if I talk from distance and am not your wife, nor your neighbor, I applaud you in a certain sense for this "style" of life. I hope you understand me right. Though it does not harm to relativize and become a bit slower and cautious. Age provides us with more slowness, if we let it.
Perhaps the slowness age avails us isn't just decrepitude, but the momentary pause to reflect that enables us to consider before we act. Even if it's decrepitude, but avails us that moment to consider, I'll take it.
Excellent! This is a really successful expression that the weakness of age is also a strength. This gives ageing the dignity it deserves. A good conclusion to our conversation.
Thank you. I forward it back to you.
HaHa, so true! :)
There was a time in my life, I wanted to be holier than holy. I thought of myself as nice and good and doing no harm. While that "doing no harm" was true in the sense that I don't go out and want to kill or hurt another human being, I fell for utopian ideas and back referenced it to my way of life. Consuming less, abandoning car driving, no traveling by planes, eating less meat, you name it. While this in itself is not to be condemned, I gave others a sense of guilt or behaved as a "know it all" when they opted for another lifestyle.
I see through my failures and this urge in "wanting to be good". To my own defense, I started to dig deeply into those world saving ideas and finally came out of it with no solution whatsoever.
A former friend of mine told me in a very harsh way that I tend to babble. She was right in the sense that I used all nice expressions and was beating around the bush. That got me so furious that I finally expressed myself much more straightforward. While we killed our friendship in the course of this encounter, I feel, she did me a favor. Feeling genuine gratitude towards those who appear as the biggest aggressors or idiots remains yet an art to be practiced.
Do you have some in your mind with which you had similar experiences?
Thank you. I forward it back to you.
HaHa, so true! :)
There was a time in my life, I wanted to be holier than holy. I thought of myself as nice and good and doing no harm. While that "doing no harm" was true in the sense that I don't go out and want to kill or hurt another human being, I fell for utopian ideas and back referenced it to my way of life. Consuming less, abandoning car driving, no traveling by planes, eating less meat, you name it. While this in itself is not to be condemned, I gave others a sense of guilt or behaved as a "know it all" when they opted for another lifestyle.
I see through my failures and this urge in "wanting to be good". To my own defense, I started to dig deeply into those world saving ideas and finally came out of it with no solution whatsoever.
A former friend of mine told me in a very harsh way that I tend to babble. She was right in the sense that I used all nice expressions and was beating around the bush. That got me so furious that I finally expressed myself much more straightforward. While we killed our friendship in the course of this encounter, I feel, she did me a favor. Feeling genuine gratitude towards those who appear as the biggest aggressors or idiots remains yet an art to be practiced.
Do you have some in your mind with which you had similar experiences?
Thank you. I forward it back to you.
HaHa, so true! :)
There was a time in my life, I wanted to be holier than holy. I thought of myself as nice and good and doing no harm. While that "doing no harm" was true in the sense that I don't go out and want to kill or hurt another human being, I fell for utopian ideas and back referenced it to my way of life. Consuming less, abandoning car driving, no traveling by planes, eating less meat, you name it. While this in itself is not to be condemned, I gave others a sense of guilt or behaved as a "know it all" when they opted for another lifestyle.
I see through my failures and this urge in "wanting to be good". To my own defense, I started to dig deeply into those world saving ideas and finally came out of it with no solution whatsoever.
A former friend of mine told me in a very harsh way that I tend to babble. She was right in the sense that I used all nice expressions and was beating around the bush. That got me so furious that I finally expressed myself much more straightforward. While we killed our friendship in the course of this encounter, I feel, she did me a favor. Feeling genuine gratitude towards those who appear as the biggest aggressors or idiots remains yet an art to be practiced.
Do you have some in your mind with which you had similar experiences?
Thank you. I forward it back to you.
HaHa, so true! :)
There was a time in my life, I wanted to be holier than holy. I thought of myself as nice and good and doing no harm. While that "doing no harm" was true in the sense that I don't go out and want to kill or hurt another human being, I fell for utopian ideas and back referenced it to my way of life. Consuming less, abandoning car driving, no traveling by planes, eating less meat, you name it. While this in itself is not to be condemned, I gave others a sense of guilt or behaved as a "know it all" when they opted for another lifestyle.
I see through my failures and this urge in "wanting to be good". To my own defense, I started to dig deeply into those world saving ideas and finally came out of it with no solution whatsoever.
A former friend of mine told me in a very harsh way that I tend to babble. She was right in the sense that I used all nice expressions and was beating around the bush. That got me so furious that I finally expressed myself much more straightforward. While we killed our friendship in the course of this encounter, I feel, she did me a favor. Feeling genuine gratitude towards those who appear as the biggest aggressors or idiots remains yet an art to be practiced.
Do you have some in your mind with which you had similar experiences?
Thank you. I forward it back to you.
HaHa, so true! :)
There was a time in my life, I wanted to be holier than holy. I thought of myself as nice and good and doing no harm. While that "doing no harm" was true in the sense that I don't go out and want to kill or hurt another human being, I fell for utopian ideas and back referenced it to my way of life. Consuming less, abandoning car driving, no traveling by planes, eating less meat, you name it. While this in itself is not to be condemned, I gave others a sense of guilt or behaved as a "know it all" when they opted for another lifestyle.
I see through my failures and this urge in "wanting to be good". To my own defense, I started to dig deeply into those world saving ideas and finally came out of it with no solution whatsoever.
A former friend of mine told me in a very harsh way that I tend to babble. She was right in the sense that I used all nice expressions and was beating around the bush. That got me so furious that I finally expressed myself much more straightforward. While we killed our friendship in the course of this encounter, I feel, she did me a favor. Feeling genuine gratitude towards those who appear as the biggest aggressors or idiots remains yet an art to be practiced.
Do you have some in your mind with which you had similar experiences?