Don't Google This!
My eyes are getting wet. What to do? I typed my remedy on a search engine and what I obtained gave me a heart attack. "Your eye glands got leakage; this is a rare disease that can lead to blindness." I controlled my shivering hands, and almost I felt my head spinning. I was losing my vision in no time. "You idiot! get up; these onion odors will wash away all your sins lol". Realizing that, I closed the Google tab. I wanted to pay a salute to myself and my google too.
I got a headache, and this time I wasn't aware that I was a patient with brain cancer. My brain almost froze after this statement; further scrolling revealed my final destination - hell or mental hospital. I was murdered by Google after this statement.
Remedies to eliminate pimples were another query I wanted to know about. Disprin contains salicylic acid, so its application would help you to get clear skin. I bought a dozen of disprin and made a mixture. After the application, I went on medication just like a few husbands, when their wife asks about their salaries. For a while, I washed my face because of irritation. The results shocked me. Clear skin wasn't obtained. Instead, my skin color was changed from nude brown to red, along with the enormous pimple babies everywhere. Some wanted to enter my nose too, but they were not permitted. I, the father of all these babies, paid a lot while selling them to a dermatologist.
How to attract girls was the most asked question, and the suggestion I got from Google helped me. Instead of getting her attention, those permitted an apparent excuse for rejecting me. I was dressed in a suit with spikes and a romantic fragrance. The meeting location was hard to find, so she said I should meet with his family. My bad that gathering was the funeral of her grandfather. Please don't say anything to me. Google suggested this to me. Even more, I was told, but I skipped it as it was our first meeting.
I typed how to get rid of snake friends on google, and it told me nothing like wow. At least it should say to me to kill those anacondas with a knife. I am sad about Google for not suggesting this direct way.
I asked Google how to make an egg omelet, and it recommended all the ingredients. I mixed all the vegetables and eggs after spreading them on a pan. I had to eat that mixture as Google didn't tell turning the stove on.
How to repair phone screens at home. Believe me, I applied 3 toothpaste packets to my screen. It's black color tuned white and red. I got a fresh fragrance from it. But what about the screen? It didn't get repaired. Instead of not brushing my teeth, I wasted all of the toothpaste. I had to visit the dentist. Also, girls remained away from me once they were attracted to the fragrance of my phone.
So these are my experiences with Google. My friends requested that they will guide me when I get married. Because by acting on the advice of Google, I might lose my…
Taco-Pizza
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It is pretty creepy the way everyone is ignoring what is happening to me and still going to Hivefest. Lay the dirty snatches out why dont ya. Fake it all you want creeps, its so obvious the blind eye you are turning. @fyrstikken told me what V2K and RNM was before they turned it on for me. Around that time he introduced me to @roelandp . I still have the emails between myself and @roelandp . This chain is centralized by design and @fyrstikken helped set it all up to fuck everyone, one by one, slowly into my situation. This is no joke you dumb mother fuckers, they shock you to your thoughts..... Hello????? It is in store for everyone you fools and your helping. Voices pulsed in your head and shocks to your thoughts??? Ignore me and help fuck innocent people for life? @roelandp and other top witnesses I know are involved with @fyrstikken.. Wait until people find out you conspired to enslave them with this shit. I am not crazy and you know it. they are doing this shit to me and told me what it mother fucking was BEFORE THEY TURNED IT ON! Your acting like naive children or maybe you are just part of the problem? You look like sociopaths. Everyone should unplug from HIVE until they are caught, .your. celebrating and ignoring my obvious, you look like fools. You know who is doing it....they are trying to kill me with it. The Havana Syndrome is real too you slave trading V2K, RNM enabling fuckers. Arrogantly play ignorant you Creeps, your setting the table for trafficking and total enslavement. I did not know I was circumvented until a year after I was?..People here will be nice until it?s too late. There is no way to stop it once they have you. Grow the fuck up, this is not aliens, gods, celebrities or a medicate-able mental concern. It is 100% electronic and beast as fuck. You do not want this shit. https://ecency.com/fyrstikken/@fairandbalanced/i-am-the-only-motherfucker-on-the-internet-pointing-to-a-direct-source-for-voice-to-skull-electronic-terrorism ..... https://ecency.com/gangstalking/@acousticpulses/electronic-terrorism-and-gaslighting--if-you-downvote-this-post-you-are-part-of-the-problem
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Oh my God🤣🤣🤣
I couldn't stop laughing while reading this...Xd
You know Google suggestions can be helpful atimes and funny sometimes. Not everything suggested by google I do follow especially when I have another alternative solution.
What's your alternative solution?
My alternative solution can be asking an experienced person about the issue depending on what the issue is.
Experience they say is the best teacher.
One can help with a solution through his or her experience, though it still depends on the context.
My grandpa says he has experience of going to America from China on foot.
🤣🤣🤣
All join..xd
Hihi, one day I asked google to remove dandruff from my hair. It is suggested to use egg and yogurt, by doing this dandruff did not leave my hair but all people leave me for one day, their nose is very sensitive to the egg odor, they should quickly ask google how to cure it...xD.So egg in the hair can be used to get rid of all people lol.
Nice remedies you were suggested, you should write them in a diary and follow them🤣🤣
I hope you are aware that all my comedy posts are fiction :)
Ya, sure not only you but most of us write only fiction in comedy. I tried to exaggerate the fun of your already funny remedies.
Have a good day.
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The toothpaste one got me 😆
I remember seeing so many “life hacks” on how to repair your cracked screen only using toothpaste. There’s a special place in hell for these people lol!
and I declare everyone is happy is hell. Heaven, hell, and earth are equal. You know what I mean....
No, I do not know what you mean. :(
Earth is sometimes hell too xD
You've finally published a post😊😊. You're right. If you googled things about your health, you’d think you're going to die the next day😂. There was a time I searched for how to get pink and soft lips, after doing what I saw, I woke up with a swollen lip the next day😂.
You can apply honey on lips for 2 to 5 minutes for softer lips. The honey should not be a chemical mixture but original. :)
Yay! 🤗
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"Google, I'm with a bit of headache, what do I have?"
"CANCER, HEART ATTACK, MALARIA, ALL OF THEM TOGETHER"
Thx Google :x
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Omg 😂 you were murdered after the statement. I am suggesting to you that next time don't ask such things which can be harmful for you.
And the omlet omg it is seriously fucking method that it didn't tell you to turn on the stove. Next time I'll assist you by telling you to on the stove.
And washing the screens with the tooth paste is another thing which is making laughter in me 😂🤣😂.
Nice to know that you like my jokes :)
You are welcome dear.
🤣🤣🤣
Google had finally helped you out. Lol
Oh my 😂😂😂 I couldn't stop laughing at this. Do you expect Google to tell you that?
😆😆😆
!PIZZA
laughing My Ass off, This is hilarious bro.
Once Google told me I got heart attack in my kidney :!
First meeting on her grandfather funeral ah damn, Enough reason To die. (Adding this on my list to impress my crush)
Reading that snake friend part Hurt's me bro i ain't Got any friend :! I'm okay with snake friend send them to me.
Haha repairing screen part remind me off 5 minute craft i used to trust them
Pressing "F" to pay respect for the wasted toothpaste.
Enough laughter for tonight The best thing i read before going to sleep.
Haha your sense of humour is amazing!
HAHahahahaha that one cracked me up.
I freaking hate google when it comes to diseases. How come it range from a cold to cancer? And then I have to google how to get rid of anxiety, and more anxiety it creates, because now, of course, I have some sort of severe mental disorder.
Some things found on Google should be left on Google😂😂😂.. this one time, I searched for how to grow my hair. It gave a recipe using onion and a bunch of other stuffs, you don't want to know how that ended
Yes I wanna know now xD
Honestly, I laughed out so loud!
I have being a victim of google search and the results can increase your ailment.... raising your blood pressure high like wt! rofl 🤣🤣
Googly didn't tell you turn on the stove lmao 😆😆...that means we are switching to Siri lol
This is hilarious 🤣
Pretty funny. You have shown that you can't follow to the letter google.
You reminded me of a time when a friend of mine was googling for a breakdown on his car, and the result of what the car had according to google.... "car cancer".
What version of Google are you using?😟😃
September 4, 1998
🤣🤣🤣 I learned never to google when it claimed I'd die the next day. Stay away from googling your ailments!!
Google search is like utube shorts. You wanna stop doing it but you can't. xD
😂😂😂 funny how you put it.
Great work!
Thanks for the compliment. :)
This is hilarious😂...it's fuuny how dependent we are on google, the article writers know this so I think they put up silly unthinkable things as some sort of twisted joke...that's my opinion . The going blind cuz of wet eyes and getting brain cancer cuz of a headache is just plain evil😂. The one with the toothpaste is something else, I think I've actually come across that one before.
If you think google is evil check out 5 minute crafts on youtube. Their hacks will blow your mind...literally.
Thanks for cracking me up, I'm here through dreemport🙂
😂😂😂 the worst thing anyone can do is google their symptoms. I remember the time google told me I had kidney disease, it was horrific 😂😂