Setting, breaking and respecting boundaries
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Change they say is the only constant thing in life. I didn't quite understand this phrase at the early days of my life but daily as I grew my mind began to open and I started to comprehend things better than I used to. Out of the many things I have learnt for myself, I have also learnt that life is shaped by the experiences we have and the situations we find ourselves in is what brings about the decision we make. We never can tell how that decision will go, what it will bring us and if it's really the best thing to do. We only just seem to follow our hearts and sometimes our sense of reasoning while we hope that the decision we make will be the best.
Having been a witness to many things at the early stage of my life ranging from marital abuse, child abuse, bad blood amongst family, betrayal amongst best friends which has birthed hatred and caused enmity, I decided to set boundaries for my own life. I didn't want any of the things I saw happening to other people happening to me too. Experience is said to be the best teacher. Though all these sad happenings were not occuring in my life, it happened in my neighbourhood so I was a live witness. I could literally feel the pain and anguish in the voice of the victims, the sorrow written on their faces, the hatred untold.
But words are much easier said than done. Notwithstanding what made us set certain boundaries for our lives, we are human and along the line we break them. Forsaking everything we said we stood for, we go against everything we said we wouldn't. Sometimes we're remorseful for it and sometimes we're not and sometimes it's for a good cause because not all boundaries are healthy. So if ever we've set unhealthy boundaries and as we grow we see ourselves breaking them, it's okay. This can just be a sign that we are growing and we are seeing the world in a better light and it's okay to make changes where necessary.
Other times due to sentimental reasons, we have let our guard down and we've broken the boundaries we set. It might be a little tricky atimes to figure out if breaking certain boundaries was the best thing to do but reality can be our guiding light. Sit down and reflect on the difference between when you held your boundaries and now that you've broken it. Be honest with yourself about the kind of changes it has brought your way. If the changes are negative then think of why you set those boundaries in the first place. Was keeping them more profitable than breaking them? There you have the evidence you need to know what's best to do.
Setting, breaking and respecting boundaries is just my thoughts about how situations can make us set boundaries. Sometimes healthy and sometimes unhealthy. When it's worth breaking boundaries and why we should respect our boundaries by upholding them again even if we must have broken them at some point.
About The Author
I am a witty adventurous girl who loves to sing, take pictures, teach and travel. I am currently an English Education student at the University of Nigeria Nsukka. I am also a young children teacher who home school's kids during holidays. I love to share my life experiences through writing with the hope of inspiring as many people as possible on the Hive space.
You have an interesting take on this and it resonates with me.
Every step we take and the decision we make are usually due to the experience we've had in life. It must not be a direct experience. Even an experience we get to witness in our environment can make is to set boundaries.
We just have to be sure we are flexible enough to adjust things when the need arises.
Exactly!
Well said. I'm glad you agree with my points. Thank you for stopping by.
It's very painful to look back and realize that one would have been happier if one had just held down a little longer, other than give in to sentiments.
True but we cannot be living in regrets. And sometimes, if we don't make mistakes there's no better way we could have learned.
I know we learn from other people's experiences but the lesson hits differently when it's personal.
Regardless, in all we do it's important that we try to make a good decision. Of confused it's okay to seek counsel from other wise people.
Sense should always becloud emotions. That is maturity.
100%. Experience hits differently all the time. It really does